[Mr. Unknown]

I don't know for some reason I'll be happy and then I'll be sad for no reason, sometimes I just want to kill myself and sometimes I cry.. I don't know what's happening to me.. Ever since 9/11, this is way back, I've always been teased by the kids that I'm a terrorist, no one would talk to me, I'm a taliban, I'm Osama Bin Laden... The even laugh at my accent. When I was still in school, girls would ask me out and then they would laugh and giggle at me.. My parents even told me that I wasn't even good lucking, that I was ugly, every time I had a fight with them they would say that I'm ugly, look at your face... Sometimes I think of just running away from home or just go head on @ 100 + mph of a cliff.. I can't even talk to my brothers or parents they'll just laugh at me. I really have no friends, no one to call and to talk to and listen to me.. I look back on my life and I see a how worthless I was. When my brother come over with his fiancé and they take me out.. I don't really want to go but his fiancé always drags me out.. I'm like really pathetic when I go with them to the movies or any way.. I think I'm just in there way.. I would like to know how it is to be love, to go out have fun... Ionno I'm so confused...

I would like to go to counseling but the only thing that's keeping me is when the bill arrives my parents would get the mail and start to laugh at me and get mad at me from a shrink.

Is there away that the Doctor don't send the bill or the statement showing I went to the doctor? Like I can just pay if off right there or something? I'm going to be using my dad Health Plan.


I've even been mistreated by my brother, when I was small, I only thought of it as a game, ionno can hardly remember, but I do remember , but now I know abot all these stuff when I'm looking at the news, now I know it was wrong. I don't know but my brother use to harrass me sexually.. I don't mean verbally.



Sorry about all my words and sentence are jumble up..


Thanks for listen to me.. I really appreciate it.

[karma]

There are free counselors you can find in the phone book. There are 800 numbers that won't cost anything and they could really help you. There are counselors for suicidal thoughts, abuse and some just to talk to when you feel down 24 hours a day. Don't give up hope. Everyone gets teased but your parents do love you, they just don't know how to show it. You do need to get help for those suicidal thoughts though. Counselors can really help, and it is all aynonomous. And in the long run, you will be happy. You will find that special person. I went through much of the same problems, and I found someone. Everyone has their match!

[fredg]

Hi,
Your Dad has the medical insurance?
Then, he will receive the bill and notification of how much the insurance has paid.
You could possibly need professional help with all this.
Please talk with your parents about it. They should get you to a doctor. You might need, for awhile, to take a prescription anti-depressant medication, which will be up to you, your parents, and the doctor.
If you continue trying to "fight" this by yourself, it probably will not work!
Best wishes,
fredg