Check out some similar questions!

johnno · Jul 4, 2005, 10:57 PM

My girlfriend left told me she wanted a break from us 4 weeks ago. A week after that I told her I couldn't stay in limbo and made the decision for her to call it quits which she agreed was the best idea. After hearing that she couldn't handle seeing me with anyone else I rang her up thinking she may still want to be with me. However she said that she didn't but she wouldn't be surprised if we got back together in a couple of years time when we are finishing our degrees. She's nearly 19 and I just turned 22. I think I was too clingy for her and became boring. We have mutual friends and its going to be hard to be just friends with her, I really want her back. How can I go about this. It's been 2 weeks since I last spoke to her and I have since been with 2 girls. However I really want my ex back. What should I do?

mike145k · Jul 5, 2005, 12:42 AM

I suggest you give up the bull and come clean you got nailed for cheating that's why she dumped you,and if you deny it you are not going to get better. I see in your actions that you can care less about her otherwise you would not have spread yourself out like the hands of the evil doers.poking them where they do not belong shame on you loser.

johnno · Jul 5, 2005, 12:46 AM

What are you talking about? I never cheated on her. If I did, I wouldn't care that we are no longer together but I do care immensely

mike145k · Jul 5, 2005, 01:05 AM

Right don't try to pull the wool over our eye's if you loved her so much what's the other sexual conquests all about ,and more then one it came out of your mouth you know you're a cheater and a slime ball

johnno · Jul 5, 2005, 01:06 AM

You're a ing wanker mate

mike145k · Jul 5, 2005, 01:10 AM

I am a full expert and as an expert I demand respect

lickemlolly · Jul 5, 2005, 03:50 AM

Uumm john forget mike he's a loser and he is going to get what is coming to him.. pride comes before disaster and a halty spirit before a fall so while he demands respect and thinks he is a gift to everyone he has what is coming to him... its called karma.. what goes around comes around... but listen she's young and it sounds like she just wants some freedom while she's doing her thing... her telling you that she wouldn't be surprised if you got back together is her telling you she still cares and she does want to be with you just not now... trust me I've heard that line before and that mess makes you mad but for now concentrate on school and try to relax... you can't force her into taking you back as that will only push her away further...

fredg · Jul 5, 2005, 05:48 AM

Hi,
At 22, I was in love; again.
At 24, got married; then divorced after 7 yrs, then remarried. Been 28 yrs now!
Same thing happened with my first marriage. She told me it was over. I left her alone, not calling, not writing, just let things "lay" for awhile.
After 4 months, she called me; we got back together, and eventually got married. I can't say it was a mistake, cause we really had some good times together.
So, leave her alone for now.
I know it's hard, but let her decide what she really wants herself. Don't call her, don't write, just give her time.
If she wants 2 yrs of time, then you will probably find another to love in that length of time!
Also, if you really love her, then she cannot be your "friend"... that rarely works out in your best interest; except maybe for years later.
Best of luck,
fredg

sarah11282 · Jul 5, 2005, 07:07 AM

I don't think you should contact her for a while. If you have mutual friends you could use this to your advantage. She is not going to want you back if you seem clingy or desperate. You could still mix with the mutual friends without having too much contact with her. And even if you feel sad when she is about make sure that you seem happy and seem to be having a good time. I understand if you are finished you will see other girls but I would not see too many. Maybe you could see one of them quite a bit and that could make her jealous or make her think that you are moving on with some one else and will probably make her want you back more quick. But if you are going to do this you have to be careful not to hurt the other girl.
And if you do get back together and if you think that one of the reasons that you finished was because you were too clingy do not be like that anymore. Tell her to go out with her friends and you can go out with yours etc. hope things work out for you!

Wildcat21 · Jul 5, 2005, 10:42 AM

Clingy and needy is BAD for business - it does make you VERY boring.

You have to change first.

Learn about woman at www.askmen.com - read eavery article

www.sosuave.com

Learn about 'Nice Guys' at www.relationships.blog-city.com

You're there to creatre excitement, fun, NO Pressure

BUT - David Deangelos book at www.doubleyourdating.com - NOW! Learn about attraction and how it works.

Don't call her for a long time. Don't return her calls - it was bad idea to call her only after a week.

Wildcat21 · Jul 5, 2005, 10:52 AM

IF you act too anxious to make a relationship work, even if the other person initially seemed to be the one who wanted it, they will become turned off and start looking for the exits. Next time you decide you really want somebody, play your cards close to your chest. Don’t let on how excited you’ve become. Slowly over many months of time you can eventually show more commitment on your part, but do so incrementally, remaining alert to equal signs of commitment back. If at any point your devotion is more than an equal share, back off and give the other person a chance to catch up before proceeding further.

It is their perception, rightly or wrongly, that someone nice must be desperately needy. The neediness or dependent characteristics exhibited by a person are actually what is repulsive.

johnno · Jul 5, 2005, 05:56 PM

So how long should I wait to call do you think? It's been 2 weeks of No contact as of today.

Wildcat21 · Jul 5, 2005, 09:09 PM

2 months at least - no calls, no returned calls, no text, certainly no e-mails.

Improve yourself. Give her space - lots of space. Workout. Hang with friends. Meet new girls. Work. School. Hobbies. Hang with your family.

Just nothing with this gal. She may come back.

AND learn about WOMAN!! Go to those sites. Figure out what you did to push her away!! (too needy? called all the time? jealousy? SHARED YOUR FEELINGS WAY TOO SOON? too agreeable - Nice Guy? )

Wildcat21 · Jul 5, 2005, 09:10 PM

In other words - become a better man.

LEARN ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND HOW THEY WORK!! This isn't hard - it takes time!

BattleAngel14745 · Jul 7, 2005, 07:02 AM

Message deleted

johnno · Jul 7, 2005, 07:06 AM

I did fight with her and she made it clear that she didn't want to be with me so why should I just sit on my arse and moan about it and let her go and hook up with guys while I could be out there hooking up with girls at the same time?

turtlegirl · Jul 7, 2005, 07:21 AM

The mutual friends thing is problematic.

I see your point about sitting on your arse. Although 2 girls in 2 weeks is a little racy for me, we often do things when we are hurting that we wouldn't otherwise. But the girl you are pining for knows! Personally if there had been a glimmer it would now be snuffed for me. You are completely right to get out there and LIVE -- take a workshop, work out, go to the movies, build something, visit old friends out of town. Be the whole and happy person she would want to be with. I'm not saying you should be a monk, but if you're out there messing with a lot of girls it makes you look cheap. (Get out of town, anyway, for those adventures, away from those mutual friends!)

What's the most important thing at the back of your mind? You want this girl back or you want to have fun? Some parts of those are mutually exclusive.

BattleAngel14745 · Jul 7, 2005, 07:22 AM

Message deleted

Wildcat21 · Jul 7, 2005, 08:02 AM

"Be the whole and happy person she would want to be with." - I like that - most people here don't realize that.

johnno · Jul 7, 2005, 04:28 PM

Well I don't know if she knows, 1 of her friends saw me with one girl (but she was so drunk she can't remember anything about the night and probably can't remember that either) and I told her I was with another 1 but also said that it didn't mean anything to me and I felt really bad after it.