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peaceloma · Jul 6, 2007, 02:19 PM

My husband and I talk on the phone very formally. I don't know how to joke with him and if I call I get straight to the point of the call. I am away from home for the last 8months for studies and he has told me that I can't talk to our 3year old daughter through his phone. Each time I want to talk to my daughter, I have to call somebody else. We have been married for three years and I still don't know how to get to him. Communication is zero. He does things without telling me (for example he bought a house without my knowledge). I am open and fun loving and he is into himself and work. I know I deserve to be happy but the most pain in my life I have obtained from my husband.I don't know what to do. Please advice

Dennis777 · Jul 6, 2007, 02:31 PM

Hello

Sending you a great Big Hug.

I have some questions for you so you can help me help you.

When did he change from the Man you Loved to this jerk.

Why are you away from home to study and how long have you done this.

What part of the world do you live in.

What faith is he a part of if any.

How did you meet your husband.

Your ages.

If you send me the answers to the above questions will give me a place to start.

Dennis777

peaceloma · Jul 7, 2007, 01:21 AM

Thanks for the hug. I can't say when he changed.its a matter of several ups and downs all through. We dated for less than a year, I got pregnant and he proposed and we got married. Then it was OK for a while but we had several arguments with different philosophies. Everything for him has to be logically and coldly thought out. For me, I think with my heart at times too. Between studies I have gone back home and everything was wonderful till like a month before I left. We separated on a not so good note and it has been impossibe to patch that long distance these last 8months.he is very supportive of my studies(atleast he said so). I left for studies after the first year of marriage.The first time I left, it was much better than this time and we wrote email everyday. We still do often(impersonal emails e.g about war in iraq) but we can't talk on the phone with disturbing silences each time.
He is not a christian and I am.he does believe in God though. We met through mutual friends and he was very sure that I was the one.he kind of swept me of my feet. But he is not openly expressive of his emotions. We are both 30. I am rounding up my studies and will be back home soon but I am dreading it.

Marily · Jul 7, 2007, 05:34 AM

Why did u chose to go study when your daughter is still so young? Your husband needs his wife, and your daughter needs her mother

talaniman · Jul 7, 2007, 06:11 AM

Its so hard to nurture a new marriage if you've been gone for 16 months out of 36. This relationship hasn't had an honest chance to develop, at all and no wonder you're a little confused, as your alone and all you hold dear is far away. Is it worth it at this point with a new baby who need to bond with both parents? Please get home to your family, and worry about studying later.