[coyote]

undefined :confused:
I have a problem. Obviously, if I didn't have a problem, I wouldn't be here. Last year I met a woman, her name is tascha. We met through massage school. We became fast friends, and over the months became inseparable. We were both unemployed during school, and we lived close to each other so we spent a lot of time together. Her partner even started calling me tascha's second wife. About 6 months ago, I started noticing things about tascha that I didn't like. She talked behind my back, anything that I told her in private became just more for her to talk about with people, and sometimes she did this with me there. She was also condescending, always pumping herself up to make her look better than every one else, when in fact she wasn't. She would also start fights with her partner in front of me, like she wanted an audience to see what a victim she was. She is a lot like my mother. Lots of drama, and when there is none she will go to great lengths to create drama. 2 months ago I decided that I just couldn't take this relationship with her. It was making me feel bad about myself, and she started to feel the tension between us build. I wrote her a 4 page letter about how I felt, trying the best I could to make it about me. " you make me uncomfortable when...I feel that.."
I didn't want to attack her, I don't like confrontation, and I don't like to fight. Well she was pissed. More about me writing a letter, than anything else. I had to write a letter, I wanted to make sure that I didn't say anything to her that was pointless, and hurtful. I wanted to be careful with both of our feelings. Well I haven't talk to her in 2 months, and I’ve been doing my best to forget about the whole thing. And just when I was feeling some relief that it was all behind me, she calls me. Yesterday, on the first day of my vacation no less. She got my answering machine, she says she misses me. To hear her talk, it sound like she’s doing me a huge favor by gracing me with her call. I talk to some friends about it, and I called her back today, luckily I got her answering machine and told her that I was out of town, and that I would look forward to talking with her when I got back. Now I can't stop thinking about her. I really want nothing to do with her, and I especially don't want my thoughts of her to ruin my vacation. What do I do?

[fredg]

Hi,
First, if it's this bad, change your phone number, and don't have it published.
Try to have a good vacation, and if you really don't want to see or hear from this person, then try to forget it.
Best of luck,
fredg

[shenda]

Identify the attachment held with this person. Do you like the person, but detest the ways? Do you desire to reconnect, but afraid too. Remember, you can not forget a person, unless you know why you were attached to them in the first place. Sometimes, life allows us to broaden ourselves by the contacts we make, in order for us to see some important aspect of our being. We attract who we are... they serve as our mirror, some aspect of what we have projected, whether valid or invalid. Invalid meaning the true nature of a person masked by hurt, rejection. You can enjoy your vacation; however, you opened yourself up by declaring you would contact the person upon your return. Know why you allowed a closed door to be re-opened. Examine it closely and carefully; most importantly, honestly before taking a definitive action.