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    Perfect Hennig's Avatar
    Perfect Hennig Posts: 1, Reputation: 0
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    #1

    Jul 5, 2007, 08:26 AM
    Helping a friend
    What would you do if a friend of yours got dumped and refuses to move on nearly a quarter of a year after it happened. You joke about it with him as with laughter he should be able to overcome it more quick, but he refuses to, living in hope that she will take him back when she has changed her mobile number and won't reply to his emails. He stalks people online she was with before him, and worst of all you find out he has signed up for 10+ online dating sites.
    ...
    Meet Will, he is a movie geek and obsessed with Mickey Rouke, I'm not saying there is anythig wrong with being a geek as I am one myself, but when I mean "geek" I really mean "GEEK". He has over 1000 DVD's, he is obsessed with his PS3 and has never really been great with girls.

    He has only been with 2 girls in his life

    Vicky- This lasted very short, and if you had seen her you would have known why

    Judith - His first, and so far only, longterm girlfriend.

    Another thing you must know about him, he is obsessed with chatting to strangers online, on a scary level. In fact that is how he met Judith, he was signed up on Bebo (a thing like myspace) and added her and started talking and somehow desbite everything common sense tells you, he met up with a girl for a date he met online. From what I know when they were alone he treated her well, done eveything for her and so on... and she was a bossing him about making everything be done her way. She dumped him in April after 10 months for some bull reason.

    Having nobody really to turn to since everyone he knew was associated with her, so he turns to me. I talk him through it, even sitting out in the middle of Belfast, freezing, from 2am to 7am trying to help him through it... but to no effect. All he cares about is the that doesn't give a rats about him. Since I am (or as it appears now, was) his only mate I invited him out meeting other people I'm mates with, but he turns into Silent Bob, not talking, so yet again I try and help him move on... and nothing.

    Every time I have been dumped the one thing that got me over it fast was mates making fun of it, once you're able to make fun of the event you know that it doesn't bother you as much. So that's what I done, I made fun of it within reason. But one time I googled his name and seen his YouTube profile come up, his myspace profile come up and then to my horror, an array dating site profiles in his name. This is the last thing he should be doing. So I went onto his email and seen he was signed up for many more, so I print screened hem all and made a video about it, again going back to the laughter thing to help him through. First he hated it then admitted it was funny.

    Time passed, I thought he has kicked this sad habbit, but googled his name again and seen yet more recent ones in his name, so went on his email again and seen it was far worse, he was tryig to arrange meetings with people he didn't know who were far far older than he is. This pissed me off as I have been telling him to cut it out and if he just acts himself he will find someone again, but NO, he gets a new webcam, and then if I'm talkig to him on MSN late at night all of a shudden he says "BRB need a shower" now that late night shower, combined with his dating sites and also add on the new webcam I think it is obvious what he is doing.

    I tell him that if he doesn't get his act together I will send the link to one of his online dating site profiles to Judith The She , thinking this will be motivation for him to grow up. But NO, I tell him as a joke that I had sent it to her, and he acts like a child, how he thinks I really did send it is beyond me. But I get this nice email in

    "whatever friendship we had is now over "

    Which I find quite funny as I am his only mate, and the only person who has given a damn to try and help him, telling him the truth even if it's not what he wants to hear and want to continue to help him. But no, He goes on sites like this talking to strangers, adding anyone he comes across on MSN and flirts with girls online like a ing online Fonz.
    XenoSapien's Avatar
    XenoSapien Posts: 627, Reputation: 42
    Senior Member
     
    #2

    Jul 12, 2007, 06:29 PM
    Amplified addiction is the first few words that come to my mind. If you are still communicating with him, then try (something like) this: When you do all you can to get an outcome, it is guaranteed to fail. When you do absolutely nothing, that is when you can't handle all the success. Women can feel a man's anxiety--trust me on this.

    XenoSapien

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