[bogit]

My son went to live with his father two years ago we have a joint residence order. My son resides there during the week and with me at the weekends. According to my sons father my son would like to change his surname to his. Apparently my son was upset when the school referred to him as Mr (my name).

I am unsure what should be done for the best and I do not feel that my son is old enough to make decisions like that at the age of 8, nor do I think he should be put in the position of having to.

If I don't allow it though am I guilty of projecting my own feelings into the situation?

At the same time I have to ask if my ex is the one forcing the issue here rather than helping my son come to terms with our separation.

Ultimately it my son that matters , I am concerned not to ask him as he is guilty of people pleasing and will say what he thinks either of us want to hear. So I would like to hear some non emotionally tied opinions.

[bushg]

My son had my name even though my husband and I are married. When he started school he wanted to use my husbands last name. He has went by my husbands last name for almost 12 years now. He is mostly an a & b student and has never given us any problems. If it is something he really wants, then I say let him. Tell him that it his decision and you will always love him no matter what.

[ScottGem]

A person can go by any name they want as long as there is no intent to defraud. If your son wants to use his father's name for school, all he has to do is inform the school that's how he will be known.

[macksmom]

Or you could always meet on middle ground and hyphenate the last names, so he has both.