[Reecetard]

I'm 14. I'm not anything like anybody I know. I have a 'spiritual' side to me, I like looking at nature and life and things, but nobody knows that part of me. And I'm gay and fully to terms with it. I am who I am and I've accepted that! However, I'm terrified of coming out to anyone, I'm a very confident person but don't feel confident on this subject! Most striaght people don't understand how hard it is being gay so young, you just want to fit in but you can't when boys are talking sbout girls and other things. I think that most of my friends will be accpeting, but the only person who will be in my family is my mum, she even said she would be. I have a feeling one of my best friends is gay, and he's really hot and recently I found out I love him. This may sound a little fast but he's so kind, I have dreams about us living together in the future and stuff, even if he's not gay he will accept that I am. I want to tell him I am but I don't really know how. HELP ME PLEASE!

[phillysteakandcheese]

You don't fall "in love" in a few days, or a few weeks. Sure - You fall in like, in lust, or in-fatuation, but make no mistake - those things aren't love.

I would question how you can be certain of your sexuality at such an early age, but...

If you tell even one person that you are gay, be prepared that they will tell others, either by accident or intentionally... And at that point, you're "out" whether you like it or not.

[Wondergirl]

I agree with philly. You may really be gay, but maybe not. A person's sexuality is not fully realized until he is older than you are right now. That means your feelings about which gender you fall in love with may change during the next few years.

I too say don't announce you are gay. If you turn out to be straight or even bisexual, labeling yourself now as gay is misleading. While growing up, we often have intense feelings for the same sex. This might be what you are experiencing.

P.S. You mentioned feeling gay "so young". A person doesn't become 21 (or whatever age) and decide to "turn gay". A gay person is gay from birth or from early childhood. Scientists haven't yet figured out what causes someone to be gay and not straight, but they are working on it. There are unknown genetic and environmental factors at work. Conclusion: a person doesn't "turn gay".

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes at 14 gay or straight you are still finding out who you are, and most certainly would not be sexually active yet anyway.

I will disagree with wondergirl on the turning gay but with all things you can only be who you are.

But right now you are a 14 year old, who is growing with new feelings it will take several more years to work though.

[Wondergirl]

Sorry, Fr_Chuck - my computer burped and I didn't finish my comment. I do know of a woman who, as an adult, "turned gay" after she had been gang raped as a teen. She could never trust a man again, she said, so turned to women for love. I still believe one doesn't consciously choose to be gay, just as you and I never chose to be straight.

[Fr_Chuck]

No, I think we agree but I did not want this post going to a discussion of being gay, You can start a new post on that and we can have a gay discussion for a bit, But yes I still believe social and emotional things that happen to people cause people to change and look for love where they can find it.

But again many are bi sexual and latter just go one way or the other to have a long term relationship with a person of either same or opposite sex.

But for a 14 year old, there are often a closeness that girls feel toward each other that is confused with sexual feelings but are just often new feelings that are new to them.

But in the long run a 14 year old just does not need to be sexual active and allow their body to mature and their hormones and their emotions to know what they are.

[XMouse]

My best friend came out as gay at 16.
He says he had known and quesstioned all his life.
You can know at any age.
Confusion happens- I agree. But, no matter how confused you get. Its something your born as and deep down you know.

[GlindaofOz]

You said you have a close relationship with your mom - I would suggest coming out to her and gaining her support and help from there out. My guess is that she probably already knows. You don't need to deal with this and worry about it on your own. I think you will find it easier to go through life once you have talked to someone and know that they still love you. I think its important to come out especially to your family. I have a male friend who is 28 years old and still is not out to his family and he has a very close relationship with his mom.

I disagree with what others have said - if at 14 as a heterosexual you can know that you like a girl or a boy then why can't you at 14 know that's as a homosexual you have those feelings towards someone of the same sex? (not trying to start a debate by the way just my 2 cents)

Regardless - I wish you the best of luck and remember there is a big, huge world out there that is brimming with people like you. You will find those with similar interests and thoughts it may just be outside of your backyard.

[mikezapwnzor]

I wouldn't pronounce to anyone officially that you are gay. I would keep it to yourself (and us?), because once you say that in public you can't go back. Wait a while... maybe after a while you'll start liking that cute girl next door?

[XMouse]

Do you know your gay ?
You don't quesstion it ?
Then come out. The sooner the better if you are sure.

[Reecetard]

Thanks a lot guys. I think I really am gay because I don't find girls bodies attractive at all, I just like talking to them about things that they like talking about, I don't like sports or cars. Plus I'm obsessed with boys bodies at the minute and a lot of people around me are sexually active. I don't really crave sexual activity, I just want a boy who I can cuddle and kiss and watch movies with. And I'm a very mature person inside so I know about facts and stuff :D your comments have helped a lot please post more :) by the way I'm 15 now it was my birthday last Sunday :D

[bushg]

Happy B-Day:). I hope you will have a very happy life. Never let other peoples opinion of you make you ashamed of who you are. Be who you need to be and do what makes you happy. For the people that want to control who or what you are and try to tell you what your feeling or thinking stay away from them. Regardless if you are gay or straight, you still need to be loved and respected. Good Luck

[Reecetard]

Reece Happy B-Day:). I hope you will have a very happy life. Never let other peoples opinion of you make you ashamed of who you are. Be who you need to be and do what makes you happy. For the people that want to control who or what you are and try to tell you what your feeling or thinking stay away from them. Regardless if you are gay or straight, you still need to be loved and respected. Good Luck

Thanks bushg. Your right people shouldn't control my life and I'm not the sort of person to really care what people think. However, many people where I live will try to control me "or convert me" and if I come out I feel I will lose many good friends

[bushg]

You will find many times in your life, when you do not meet up to someone's expectations that they will not be your friend. Those people are not true friends. If you were my son , I would advise you to do what makes your life better. If coming out does it, then OK. If you choose to remain quite about it, that is OK as well. Good Luck in whatever you choose.

[SnaveLeber]

I would suggest you maintain abstinance until your like 17 or 18, so that your hormones settle down a bit and you can get a little clearer view of what's going on.
But considering the fact that I don't see that happening... can't really advise much more