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    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:07 AM
    What do guys want in a girl?
    I am 16 years old, and I have been wondering what guys want in girls. You always see discussions about what girls want in guys, but guys have to want something too. I always seem to go for the wrong guys. I lost my virginity when I was 15 and I thought I loved him. He only wanted my body though. He broke up with me soon after, and many of the guys I go out with seem to only want the same thing. I try not to make the same mistake twice, but if I want to get a guy who isn't only in the relationship for my body, I have to know what he wants. Can somebody tell me what guys look for in the girls they like?
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #2

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:20 AM
    I think different guys want different things. I can't say much about guys since I hardly any get on a date,lo. But, I want to tell you not every guy is the same , some are after sex, some are not all after sex, guys don't understand guys either. I wouldn't say all guys are jerks, that's all they want. I am sure they are sensitive and they their own feelings too. They of course want a girl who cares about them and loves them.
    Don't make the same mistake again, when you want to have a boyfriend next time, make sure ask around/his friend what kind of history he has and you need to develop the sense of telling who is a jerk or not at the beginning of the date.
    Good luck, sweetheart! Be careful and protect yourself, but don't close the door.
    Remember, everything takes time! :)
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #3

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:31 AM
    In a 'girlfriend' I would look for someone with similar interests or willingness to take an interest in what I do for fun. Someone who I personally find attractive in allot of ways. Someone who has similar goals in life as myself. Trust, honesty, fun, intelligent. I guess mainly someone who I can have fun with whilst being myself. Someone who is on the same level as me I guess who's willing to put in equal effort as myself without games! Someone to grow and learn to love. At the start its all a bit of mystery :P and it should be fun, I think love will come with time.

    At 16 you shouldn't be worrying about boyfriends, you don't need anyone to be happy. Once your happy alone having a great life, one day you'll fall in love and you won't look back. Its up to you though if you go looking or let it come to you.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #4

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiser
    Someone who is on the same level as me I guess.

    At 16 you shouldn't be worrying about boyfriends, you don't need anyone to be happy. Once your happy alone having a great life, one day you'll fall in love and you won't look back. Its up to you though if you go looking or let it come to you.
    Sounds right! At 16, u don't need to worry about it at all. And find the boy who are in the same level as you are if u do.
    Btw, Jiser... did u read my post "if I am so wonder , why am I still single"... what do you think the problem is please? Any advice, comments will be greatly appreciated by nice springgirl. :)
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #5

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:41 AM
    I think your worrying too much. Trying to hard. You are who you are, enjoy life and someone will come to you. You seem like a great girl with allot going for you. Someone will one day want to be part of your fun!

    Doing everything in your power to meet new people, join clubs, start new sports, traveling the world will do you allot of good in your confidence and meeting people. Being friends with groups of guys, one will no doubt like you. I am sure with time that someone special will come into your life. Go with the flow for now, Its probably a healthier attitude to have, than wanting to look all the time. Too much stress!
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #6

    Jun 28, 2007, 07:57 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Jiser
    I think your worrying to much. Trying to hard. You are who you are, enjoy life and someone will come to you. You seem like a great girl with allot going for you. Someone will one day want to be part of your fun!

    Doing everything in your power to meet new people, join clubs, start new sports, traveling the world will do you allot of good in your confidence and meeting people. Being friends with groups of guys, one will no doubt like you. I am sure with time that someone special will come into your life. Go with the flow for now, Its probably a healthier attitude to have, than wanting to look all the time. To much stress!
    Thank you for your kind advice. I think I do think too much sometimes.^^; I am outgoing and I know a lot of people and I like to make friends with everyone. DO u think that is because I don't smoke, drink, party, so guys think I am too good for them? Or I am not a fun person? I make them laugh to death though.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #7

    Jun 28, 2007, 08:01 AM
    Just go with the flow! Nothing wrong with you, try a bit of flirting.. Not sure how, go Google how to flirt with guys. Bit of touching, subtle comments etc go far :) if you like the person.
    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jun 28, 2007, 08:21 AM
    Thank you so much you guys. I don't feel complete without someone though. I am such a people person, and my friends are great, but I want something more than just a friend. I just seem to attract the wrong guys. My guy friends are nice guys and all, but Its not like they like me. Guys usually can't seem to get past my looks. I just want to find a guy who can.
    Jiser's Avatar
    Jiser Posts: 1,266, Reputation: 281
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    #9

    Jun 28, 2007, 08:28 AM
    Very unhealthy to feel like you need someone to be happy. In time you will, your 16, allot of guys aren't going to be the most mature type. In life you will meet allot of good guys and bad guys but remember you will meet a special person, just remember to have your own life at the same time.
    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Jun 28, 2007, 09:10 AM
    I know it isn't healthy, but that's how I am. And obviously they aren't all mature. I know enough of them to know that. I just love to know that somebody feels something more for me than just friendship. I guess its really just reassurance that I like.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #11

    Jun 28, 2007, 10:23 AM
    As jiser has said its not healthy to need someone to complete you that's why you keep getting guys who are not completely healthy, find your own happiness, and share it with another happy person.
    I know it isn't healthy, but that's how I am.
    Resigning yourself to be unhealthy, is unhealthy.
    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #12

    Jun 28, 2007, 12:17 PM
    I am happy. I'm just happier when I'm with somebody. I love being with somebody who wants me as much as I want them. Its just that sometimes(usually) we don't want the same things from the relationship.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #13

    Jun 28, 2007, 12:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by meganxoxamazing
    I am happy. I'm just happier when I'm with somebody. I love being with somebody who wants me as much as I want them. Its just that sometimes(usually) we dont want the same things from the relationship.
    That's easy, take your time and find out if they want what you want, or is it lip service.
    rondom1's Avatar
    rondom1 Posts: 40, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    Jun 28, 2007, 04:03 PM
    I want a girl that is committed and actually wants to see me a fair amount and one that will actually come visit me unexpectedly and things like that... I'm having major issues on the subject right now and am wondering if any girl that is like that actually wants me... but that's another story and I don't mean to hijack your thread
    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Jun 28, 2007, 06:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    That's easy, take your time and find out if they want what you want, or is it lip service.
    Well that depends on what you mean by lip service. Like, I might want a real relationship, and he might just want arm candy. And yes, I am guilty of using a guy just to look good, and I won't lie about it, but its always on an agreement to each other. Like, for a dance or something, we might just go together to look good, but that's the only time I would do that. And its hard to tell whether a guy really likes you or not. I mean, I don't exactly understand guys.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #16

    Jun 28, 2007, 09:29 PM
    For one, you have to understand the average 16-18 year old is as lost about what they want, and need as I suspect you are. Young people can be very insecure, and the boys have their nose open. If you have a fairly active social life, you can meet fellows on that level, and get to know them and how they interact, and then be friends and slowly progress after trust and respect are established. I know young ladies go for the flashy, brash, exciting guys at your age but if you look longer and deeper that nerd may be dull but he will like you for who you, are so its up to you. Just move slow and look deeper. Its got to be a lot more than looking good, so keep it real.
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
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    #17

    Jun 28, 2007, 09:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by talaniman
    I know young ladies go for the flashy, brash, exciting guys at your age but if you look longer and deeper that nerd may be dull but he will like you for who you, are so its up to you.
    And keep in mind the nerd usually ends up with a 6-figure salary while the meathead spends his life changing the oil on the nerd's Porsche.

    A few ways you tell if a guy really likes you for you and not just your body are: if he wants to spend time with you and only you, if he keeps chasing you after you refuse sex with him, if your parents like him, and if he's willing to do your homework for you.

    Not that you should make him do your homework for you... unless he's just really good at math or something.
    meganxoxamazing's Avatar
    meganxoxamazing Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #18

    Jun 28, 2007, 10:01 PM
    Yes and I understand that I should get to know other people and stuff, and yes that nerd might like me, but I don't want someone who will be always there. I like a challenge. I want someone who won't agree with me on everything, and who won't do something right away just so I'm happy. I like to have to fight a little. Because no offence to any nice guys that read this, but guys who do all that stuff are boring. I mean, dangerous guys are fun and stuff, and I love them as friends, but they just never work as boyfriends for me. And I have gone out with nerds, and they are just too easy to deal with for me.
    nicespringgirl's Avatar
    nicespringgirl Posts: 1,237, Reputation: 187
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    #19

    Jun 29, 2007, 05:12 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by meganxoxamazing
    yes and i understand that i should get to know other people and stuff, and yes that nerd might like me, but i dont want someone who will be always there. I like a challenge. I want someone who wont agree with me on everything, and who wont do something right away just so im happy. I like to have to fight a little. Because no offence to any nice guys that read this, but guys who do all that stuff are boring. I mean, dangerous guys are fun and stuff, and i love them as friends, but they just never work as boyfriends for me. And i have gone out with nerds, and they are just too easy to deal with for me.
    Please don't say that nerds are not fun. I am an engineering student and almost all my classmates are males and lots of them are nerds. They can be very funny and they try hard to be funny. Once someone tries so hard in life, please give them some chance and encouragement and laugh with them. So many girls prefer not to date a nerd, I feel sorry for my male classmates. And the funny thing is that, those "nerds" prefer to date "bad" girl, hot girl who are not smart. The world is a mess now. I think it just takes long long time to find the right one.
    huno's Avatar
    huno Posts: 336, Reputation: 75
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    #20

    Jun 29, 2007, 07:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
    Please don't say that nerds are not fun. I am an engineering student and almost all my classmates are males and lots of them are nerds. They can be very funny and they try hard to be funny.
    Nerds are relatively less fun than morons at her age. Morons go out and party, drink and come home not remembering what happened the night before--that's fun. Nerds stay home reading Calculus books, watching Star Trek re-runs and fantasizing about the girls the morons are with. Not fun.

    But later in life the roles switch. The nerd gets a good job, buys real estate by the beach and spends his weekends jetskiing. Fun. The moron, whose brain cells are all but fried after cumulatively downing about 10 gallons of Jaeg, spends his weekends offering people extended warranties on toasters at Sears. Not fun.

    Nerds are like an investment. You're not meant to see the profits right away. You need time for the investment to grow, to accumulate wealth. Yes, at first it will seem your investment is stagnating--maybe even depreciating in value--but investment managers all agree that, over the course of 10 years or so, these investments average out to a 250% return (more if the nerd gets an advanced degree, such as a Master's) and that's when you win out.

    Morons, on the other hand, are like breast implants. Yes, they look great now, but in 10 years you're going to regret you got them.

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