[arnold strong]

Me and my ex girlfriend broke up at christmas and she said she didn't know how she felt anymore! We kept in contact and were even sleeping together with her saying one minute she loved me then the next she wasn't interested! She told me that she now knew she wanted to be with me 4 ever but wanted more time to be single! A week later she tells me she's going on a date with a guy! I was annoyed but there was nothing I could do! Next minute there together an she tells me to move on because she has! So I don't contact her - next minute she's calling me and txting me I feel like she's checking up on me! She even said that she saw me in a bar chatting a girl up and when asked she replied I'm not bothered? We then didn't speak for a week and the calls started again I said don't ring me if your wiv this guy but she said you're my mate an I want to be able to ring u! It came across as if she was just trying to find out what I was doing like she couldn't let go or didn't want to!! So after this I just didn't reply to her texts or calls. And she got annoyed even emailing asking why I wasn't speaking anymore! After a while I had had enough of the calls and replied listen its all or nothing wiv me so why u ringing? She said you know I'm wiv **** now! I can't make her actions out at all an I even know she was checking my emails! Is she crazy or just wants to keep me there? What would her reaction be if I had someone else?

[cld1979]

It seems like the typical ex girlfriend scenario. She doesn't want you, but she also doesn't want anyone else to have you. It's likely she's trying to keep you close just in case it doesn't work out with this new guy.

Don't let her do it. She should not be allowed to play you in this way.

Ignore her calls and move on.

[ton_ty2275]

You know Arnold, this chick sounds like a control freak. Control freaks can be borderline stalkers---if not full blown many times. Trust that once you decide to truly move on with your life and ignore her contacts, she will become more and more posessive of you.
It is best that you begin this process now--of letting go. It sounds like you may be suffering from an inability to let go and are indeed easily controlled by those whose use affection and/or sex to manipulate you.
Seek some help and advice and begin to employ tactics to elliminate this issue from your life. Perhaps something great awaits you--yet, a barricade wearing a wig and lipstick is standing in the way! :D

Hope this helps.
Tomy M. Hall, MS

[omfgdrnick]

I'm in exactly the same boat,

Constant contact from her, new boyfriend is the opposite to me and is a rebound guy for sure. It seems like she likes to hurt me but then again seems genuinely torn. A few weeks ago she came back full on at me, wanting me to come round, flirting, phone calls the works.I have done exactly as you have, told her its all or nothing.

I guess it depends on what you want. I want mine back, so I have had to enforce the no contact rule. I don't contact her, I keep myself busy. I have even started to keep a log of when she contacts me and what is said.

We had a massive row two weeks ago via a text, where we said our goodbyes.

Next day guess who calls me and begs me to meet up to "sort things out"!

Her contact is a double edged sword as I love her very much and love the attention, but it always stirs up lots of emotions.

The advice on the net is this, under no circumstances allow yourself to be in the friends zone. Its polite distance or full on. Contact from her is be met politely and friendly, but don't be afraid to ignore the odd call or text. Number one rule is self respect, keep cool, don't show her that she bothers you and under no circumstances allow yourself to be her door mat.

I think the one thing I have learned about this type of woman is that they need a strong man to keep them in line, they do not respect a pleaser, they need to feel that you will take charge and be a real man. Not macho, but a strong personality that will protect and care for them.

Anyhow good luck, lessons learned now will help in the future. :-)

[ton_ty2275]

Great response!

My only issue here is that I hope that you are aware that you are a strong man---pleaser or not. In fact, most good men in my womanly opinion are pleasers--naturally because they do love women and are capable of doing so. You have it all mapped out my brother, I hope you can move on--because your ex is blocking the next--Get-it? The next women should communicate as well as you do---not exceptions--because intelligence and values for communication is what sustains human personal interactions of all types.

Thanks for your post.
Tomy Hall, MS

[mmresd]

You go no contact, and stop playing her games. She is nothing of yours and you are nothing of hers. Move on and start living your life again. Change your passwords and erase her from everything.