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starscollide · Jun 21, 2007, 08:39 PM

This is bugging the hell out of me. My friends girlfriend is 19, I'm 21, he's 23. We all worked together, until he quit to pursue his career. Nevertheless, he'll come in and hang out, talk to everyone he used to work with and I guess to see the girlfriend as well. A bunch of us were talking to him and the girlfriend comes over, takes his arm, & goes, "We're going to lunch." Then pulls him away. I'm 21 and I've never treated a guy I'm dating like that, and what bothers me is she pushes him around like she's the older one in the relationship. He's my friend and no-I don't have feelings for him like that, but it grates on my last nerve to see that he'll let this girl kick him around. I'm close friends with his ex-girlfriend and she treated him so much better, even he's said that. So why be with this 19 year old, clingy girl?

huno · Jun 21, 2007, 08:44 PM

Love is blind... and men can be no different than women in staying with people that are beneath them.

Or perhaps there are other virtues she has that trump her deficiencies. He must really like her and I'm sure there must be some good things about her that he chooses to emphasize over her neediness.

Or he might be comfortable, either with the relationship itself or just comfortable with being in any relationship.

There really could be any number of reasons. I have to admit, I'm quick to judge whenever I see a mismatch, but sometimes an objective opinion is needed.

starscollide · Jun 21, 2007, 08:49 PM

I don't think it's that he's all that into her, because he'll complain about her constantly. He's going to school to pursue his career following college and he had to wake up at 4 am, but she'd want to hang out late and all I'd hear about is how he's so sick of being out every night and that if he doesn't, she'll just get mad at him for it.

Also, the girlfriend before this one treated him badly. She had a drinking problem and punched him in the stomach at one point, and he said to me, "I was gonna break up with her.." and never did. Just let her treat him badly. I don't want to say this, but I feel like the girls he goes for are the ones who treat him badly, and the ones who DO treat him with respect are the ones he treats badly.

As for the 19 year old, he confided in me twice that he contacted our mutual friend twice while seeing this girl, both times about hooking up. I feel like he just likes being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, regardless of if he even likes the girl. I'm worried abut him.

huno · Jun 21, 2007, 09:18 PM

Maybe he has low self-esteem? It would explain why he sticks around with abusive girls... but if it's not that, then maybe he really just wants to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one.

You sure you have no feelings for him? ;)

starscollide · Jun 21, 2007, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by huno

Maybe he has low self-esteem? It would explain why he sticks around with abusive girls... but if it's not that, then maybe he really just wants to be in a relationship for the sake of being in one.

You sure you have no feelings for him? ;)

LOL Yes, I'm sure. That was one of my fears in talking to him about it, since I'm a girl and he tends to get an inflated ego about girls liking him, he'll assume I do.

Dennis777 · Jun 21, 2007, 09:27 PM

Hello

Who knows why he lets her push him around but what I do know is if he likes her and you say anything bad about her he will turn on you. As his friend, just be there for him when his eyes open to how she really is.

Good Luck
Dennis777