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rachie · Jun 21, 2007, 12:34 PM

My husband has a daughter with another woman whom he was never married to. She is one year old. He and his ex have never legally set anything up, they have just been doing things between the two of them, with no court involved. We have supported and helped her through everything.
She is living in a situation that my husband and I do not approve of... she lives in a trailer with some loser who has her and another girl pregnant at the same time, she is unemployed because of having herpres outbreaks... the child has no stable schedule and is around people we find morally disgusting. We would like to try to gain custody of his daughter. He signed the birth certificate. We live in Ohio. Based on this information what can anyone tell me about his rights? Do we have a chance? Please don't just tell me to seek legal counsel, I am aware we will have to do that, I am just trying to get some advice in the meantime... any help is much appreciated.

Chelle0578 · Jun 21, 2007, 01:09 PM

Your husband will first have to establish paternity, until then he has no rights since they were never married. Then he will have to file for custody. The judge will then decide what is best for the child... so it becomes a battle. You do have a chance, as does she. Her living in a trailer, having herpes, and living with a guy your husband doesn't approve of will not matter. As for not having a job, that may hurt her or help her... must of the time judges find this to be a good thing, since they are home all day to care for their child vs. leaving them with a sitter. If dad has a job and spends 8-10 hrs a day away from home, this affects his time with the child. I know it is crooked... politics are a joke, but that is just the way it is. Good Luck!

rachie · Jun 21, 2007, 08:00 PM

I am a stay at home mom right now... I quit working for the time being in order to be with our son (we just had our first child) and my husband just got a good paying job with state benefits. We live in a clean home and can provide a stable lifestyle.
We have noticed bruises on rebeccas arms, as well as the mothers arms, in the same place... she always has an excuse such as "oh I must have picked her up too hard... I don't know if I buy it... this guy she's living with has done time for mansluaghter... he has another girl pregnant the same month as my husbands ex... he was sleeping with them both at the same time which she is apparently OK with... and he also pays child support for his 12 year old daughter from yet another woman. The whole situation makes me sick, and I fear for this little girl... how will she turn out being raised in such an environment? Do any of these things matter? Also, my husband signed the birth certificate... doesnt that make him legally the father?
Thank you!

Fr_Chuck · Jun 21, 2007, 08:10 PM

It all depends on the court, and the judge, you have some very liberal judges, and some who are not.

I had a case about 20 years ago, the mother was sleeping with men for money with the 4 children in another room. There was trash all throughout the old trailer. The 10 year old was left for hours at a time, watching the 3 other younger children, even having to do some of the cooking. They lived next to XXX rated book stores and liquor stores.

The fahter was well off, good job, two other children living in home large brick home, separate bed rooms for the two boys that were his.

There were photos of the inside of the home, photos of the area they lived, and even names of many of the men that she sleep with.

She admitted all of it in court,

Guess what, she got to keep the children, and the father had his child support raised to help her improve her standard of livign.

So no, you never know how they are going to turn out. Often just one of the above issues can get custody changed, until you file in court and get the attoreny moving, you just never know what will happen.

nya · Jun 21, 2007, 08:42 PM

Depending on the laws of Ohio, paternity most likely has been established since he signed the birth certificate as recently as a year ago. ( In FL the date for establishing paternity when the parents were not married is 7/1997) If paternity has been established, the father has the right to file a petition with the family court, requesting sole or joint custody with the mother. If he feels his child is in danger, he should contact his local Child Welfare Abuse Line and report it. They will send out someone to investigate his allegations. They will make a finding if its valid or not. They will sometimes remove the child and place the child with the other parent if their home is considered a safe environment. Contact child welfare in your state, speak with an attorney, or contact family court regarding filing a petition.