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happy squirrel · Jun 21, 2007, 08:26 AM

Hey guys
Quick question for you: Are inner envelopes really necessary?
Our wedding is on a Saturday night but not a black tie super formal so I'm thinking of skipping the inner envelope - also because it would save paper and keep the postage at 41c..
What do you think? Is it a mistake?
Thank you for your answers
:-)

ScottGem · Jun 21, 2007, 08:34 AM

Not sure what you mean by an inner envelope. If you require an RSVP then you should provide and envelope for it.

happy squirrel · Jun 21, 2007, 08:44 AM

By inner envelope I mean that traditionally there are 2 envelopes - the outer envelope with the guests address and the inner envelope that contains everything (response card and envelope as well).
I just want to know what people think about only using an outer envelope

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2007, 08:47 AM

The inner envelope is addressed with the names of the ones who were invited, e.g. "Mr. and Mrs. Mike Brown and Tabitha" or "Ms. Sue Smith and Mr. Frank Jones".

Traditionally, this envelope has been added to specifically say who is actually invited. For instance, if the couple to be wedded knows Sue has a boyfriend but doesn't know his name, they could write on the inner envelope "Ms. Sue Smith and Guest". She then could bring her grandmother since Frank Jones, the boyfriend, wouldn't be specified. Unfortunately, guests no longer take the inner envelope seriously, and will bring along whomever they want including babies that may cry during the ceremony.

I'm sure few people will notice that the inner envelope is missing, and those who miss it will be happy to have one less envelope to open. Just be sure to include the RSVP stamped envelope and card and hope you get those back.

P.S. This may be your only wedding in your whole life, so you might want to include the inner envelope just so you can always say you did things according to etiquette rules. (if you care... )

happy squirrel · Jun 21, 2007, 08:50 AM

Wondergirl, thank you for your answer. Since I will probably skip the inner envelope, can I put "and guest" on the outer envelope?

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2007, 08:56 AM

If you don't care which guest shows up, sure! If you invite me, I might bring my homeless friend Jerry dressed up in mismatched clothes. Can you specify on the outer envelope exactly who is invited? Or put on the outer envelope "...and ONE Guest" or "...and Guest to be named on RSVP card" or some such (and start a few new traditions lol). Put specific names if you know them. And don't say "and Family". Eeeeeeeeeeeek.

The worst thing when I got married was not getting back the little response cards. People too often ignore them... because "of course they know I'll be there". I had invited 150 people. So how many do I plan for for food etc. when only 60 have RSVPed??

happy squirrel · Jun 21, 2007, 10:19 AM

I would only put "and guest" for the single people I plan to invite and do not have a significant other (these are people we know and would not bring a bumb! ;-) but I guess it is true that you never know 100%.
For the most part, I know everybody's name, there are only 5 people for whom I would write "and guest"; so that shouldn't be too bad, right?
I hope they do use the response card though - I also have a wedding website where they could RSVP - should I put that somewhere also, in case they rather do that?

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2007, 11:49 AM

WOW! Emailing the response or putting it on a web site would be sooooo handy! Add something about that on a reception announcement/info card?

happy squirrel · Jun 22, 2007, 06:28 AM

Hey!
I had a new idea yesterday.. I was thinking of the inner envelope and their purpose, which is really only to make clear who is invited (names). I was thinking what I could do instead is write the names of the people in the back of the response card (and of course make sure it faces up so people see it wight away when they take it out of the envelope.
Just thought I would share that idea..

bekah876 · Jun 22, 2007, 11:35 AM

I say it is your wedding and do whatever you want to do. Some people are very traditionally and must stick by all the rules... but now a days it doesn't really matter. Everyone does things their own way, so why not do it your own way also. For my wedding I really wanted to have a potluck but my mom put her foot down to that idea and I had the boring fruit, cheese, crackers, etc... I wish I had done the potluck, it would have been fun!

happy squirrel · Jun 22, 2007, 02:04 PM

Thank you girls - you are so right - this etiquette crap is outdated!