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ffalambgirl · Jun 20, 2007, 10:34 AM

My boyfriend just broke up with me because he didn't have real feelings for me. About a week later he wants to be friends with benefits. He said that anytime we want something we just call each other then meet up and do it. But the thing is he just wants to do it for fun but I think that I will get to attached and then get my heart broken again. Should I tell him no and yes?

Sdjosh · Jun 20, 2007, 10:52 AM

No... should be the answer.

He broke up with you because he didn't have real feelings for you. So now he wants to USE you for sex.

Nope... Bad idea for many reasons. How can you respect yourself when you know you are just being used for sex. How can you move on with your life when you still see your EX who dumped you... you have to many emotions invested already, how can you just turn them off.

Don't put yourself in a position to get hurt again. This is exactly what is going to happen. You and him could have sex for awhile but when he finds a new GF, he will dump you. You will then find that you still had feelings for him and get hurt all over again.

Respect yourself and tell him to go jerk off.

You will be happier without him.

diya · Jun 20, 2007, 10:55 AM

For some people this kind of arrangement works especially for those who make fool of others, however for people who are emotional and have feelings, this arrangement won't work at all and if you do say yes while wanting to say no, u'll be in a mess! Friends are friends... for me there is no such thing as friends with benefits... friends care, they like to talk and meet up even otherwise... so I guess, this arrangement where he just wants to hook up for sex should be called "fooling others in the name of friends" argh!

michealb · Jun 20, 2007, 11:04 AM

My take is that old boyfriends that broke up with you don't get to be friends with benefits because you already have an attachment to this guy and the point of friends with benefits is that there isn't an emotional attachment if he decide to stop the arrangement.

talaniman · Jun 20, 2007, 01:13 PM

Tell him hell no.

robertsqueen · Jun 20, 2007, 01:21 PM

I have never believed in friends with benifets. To me sex comes with feelings. I would tell him no, but then I would also tell him that you don't appriate the fact that he thinks he can use you for sex. Tell him that is degrading to you. If you decide to do this friends with benifets... it will only end up hurting you hun. Be strong!

Dennis777 · Jun 20, 2007, 02:14 PM

Hello.

For some couples being friends with benefits works great, but your not one of them. If you have to ask yourself if it will work for you then it can't.

Hold your head high and tell him that its his loss, he had the best of everything and now he lost it all. You're a special lady and any man that has the chance to get to know you is a very lucky Man.

Good Luck
Dennis777

inthebox · Jun 20, 2007, 02:40 PM

Fflambgirl:

I would put it this way:

What benefit do you get out of this other than to be used sexually?
Who will he be with, and what can he catch from them to give to you?
If he has this attitude with you now, what if you get pregnant? Do you think he will stick around to support this child financially and help raise it?

This has to benefit you!

Tell him, that he can take you out and pay for everything and your not obligated to have any sexual contact with him.

Grace and Peace