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Asher · Jun 14, 2007, 10:07 AM

Hello. I've been planning this for awhile now because the current circumstances seem right. Last year, I had my first date ever with T and I believe that date with that Asian girl failed miserably. We were at a mall and I did everything wrong because of the immense pressure I felt.

Now I am changed for the better and I found a different girl (She's more friendly and she's not a Chinese fob, lol). I might have found the right girl N, but it's going to be hard to not fail again. I've been reading these tips on this forum constantly and trying to regain my lost confidence. It's really effective, but it all depends on me in the end.

My family is returning sometime later this month and I'm planning on taking her to NYC with my sister and her husband because she knows how to drive there (I believe that I'll get lost driving there myself). So she wants to take him out somewhere that's only in the states. We might go to a museum as well.

And who wouldn't resist going to Madame Trousseau's museum? We might split groups at the museum and then eat out together at a restaurant, but I wonder if my sister's presence with her husband will change things because I have no other way of going to NYC. Is there any way to counter this disadvantage?

Or should I just stick with regular dating at malls or places to eat for now and wait until the next opportunity? Even though this might be my second date, it seems very flashy.. if you know what I mean. I need to ask her out too because it's probably going to be this coming Tuesday or Wednesday.

victoria_mitchell · Jun 14, 2007, 04:18 PM

Well I would say that taking a girl to NYC may be a little over the top for the first date you might want to wait until you get back and then take her out, if you do end up taking her to a mall then think of it this way... You might have screwed up your first date ever but if you're in the same situation and the same surrounding and the same familiarity then you know what not to do and what to look out for. At least this way you'll already know what to expect.

When you make mistakes doing something you don't move on... You go back with the knowledge you have from the previous insident and you conquer it.

Asher · Jun 15, 2007, 04:17 AM

I'll take that suggestion in consideration. ;] I might have a shot at her the next time we get the chance to hang out, which might be around the end of this month. We might go to another amusement park or something and then another party sometime next month.

I've decided this was because she still likes this guy who's a friend of mine (She asked him if he was free this week, a few hours after I had lunch with her. She also wants him to hang out with her a lot). He's not that smart, but girls are attracted to his looks. I am jealous of him, but whatever.. I don't know if this jealousy can be of any use. Although he doesn't seem that interested in her, I really have no idea if they're keeping in contact.

I'm basically torn over this realization. I kind of know what to do in this situation, either try to win her over or just lament over it.. Please, I need guidance.

victoria_mitchell · Jun 15, 2007, 10:16 AM

I would say that if you like her keep trying to win her over. If she goes with the guy that has the "looks" <whatever that means (lol) then you know she's some what shallow and in that case you don't want to get involved with someone like that.

I can tell you this though, if you don't try to "be with her" or "win her over" you'll probably regret it later on

:::: Do you have a myspace?? ::::

Asher · Jun 16, 2007, 08:46 AM

Yeah, I had to quote the looks part because she didn't specify anything else about his hobbies and whatnot. Just his eyes, his hair color, etc. One of her good friends also stated that he was hot upon remembering when I hung out with them a few weeks back.

Because I wasn't able to hang out with her a few days before, I might still try the NYC approach.. but I'll just say it's to hang out (However, I don't know if I should pay for her 30 dollar ticket and/or 15 dollar plate of food). I have to come up with a really good excuse, but she'll probably find out that I like her in the end anyway.. So it's tough

Dennis777 · Jun 16, 2007, 09:57 AM

Hello Asher.

Just be yourself and treat her like a friend not a girlfriend. The bigest problem comes from trying to hard to be what you think the other person wants you to be. IN the end you are who you are and that's all you need to be.

Tell her you have a trip planned with your sister to NYC and ask if she would like to come along. Don't look at it like a date just friends going together. Make sure you offer to pay for her ticket and dinner, if she says she wants to pay you can play that by ear at the time.

Good Luck
Dennis

Asher · Jun 16, 2007, 09:35 PM

I just asked her if she wanted to hang out with us and she gladly accepted, but I hope that she's free on that day. She did say that she hopes she's free too. I think I was successful in making it not seem like a date.

I got the whole being yourself approach right, but I think that I have to give her some hints. I'm sure that we'll split with my sister when we arrive at the exposition and we'll just hang out looking and talking about stuff.

I'm also trying hard to remain calm because I remember the pressure felt on my first date ever, which got to me.

Asher · Jun 17, 2007, 06:19 PM

I need some assistance with this. The tickets plus any other sort of food costs about 40 or more dollars, not including my funds. It's my first time hanging out with this girl by myself. Do you believe that it's okay to be this nice for just a first time hanging out with each other outside?

Update: Anyway, she said no because of her parents.. but I hope that's not another way of saying I don't like you. Man, what should I do next..