[How_to_cope]

Well 3 months ago my girlfriend of 3 years said she needed to take a break our rlationship was fine no arguments but she said she needed to grow she was 22. She said she loved me but didn't know if it was the love you should feel for someone to be with them forever.
I kept going around to see her and kept contacting her and she kept chatting to me and was still really flirty on the phone and always talking dirty just like when we were in the relationship. I now realise I should have just let go straight away. So many people have told me she was still keen and if I had of just left her on her own she would have come back. She is very attractive but does not have a lot of friends.

Its now been three months and adventually she just said to me let it go. Problem was she slept with me once during the break and told me how great she felt and how much she wanted me in her and then we were still not together I was so confused. My fiend kept saying distance yourself from her she still likes you but needs space. Now I have totally pushed her away and after 3 months its been two weeks of not contacting her and I'm a mess.I know she didn't have anyone else but I'm so depressed feeling like I could have got her back but drove her away. Im not getting over it and the worst thing is I probably could have had her back

I think she would have been more likely to come back earlier in the first month than now. Could she still be missing me after 3 months. I miss her so much. We had so many great times together. In the first month though she kept coming over and kissing and she was saying how hard I was making her decision for her. I think I was making it easier by being there for her during the break. I am now not in contact but I think its to late. She loved me a lot and well didn't leave for anyone else but it may have been to long now and she may just not love me like she used to. Can there still be love after 3 months or is she totally over me, I can't believe even when she broke up with me she kept coming aroun to talk about it, I stuffed up she must have still been keen.

[Jiser]

Give her space, move on with your own life and don't expect anything. Be fun and enjoy life. Get some things and trips planned. Get a passion in your life which doesn't involve her. KEEP busy!

[Makiavelic76]

After 3 years of relationship she calls for a break in order to grown up. For as hard as it takes, let her grow. Forget about been around or been disposal to her "non so sure acts right now". You want a real relationship and she's asking you out. Picture clear, don't be the fan who spread the clouds for her, let her be her own.

It would be a difficult time but embrace it as it to learn:
1.- More about yourself
2.- Using the knowledge of the 1st point to become a better person
3.- More about how this person you loved for 3 years is made off, by letting her go.

At the end, instead of anger and trauma, you will have a greater human being. Respect yourself always.

[talaniman]

Get you a life that you enjoy without her and don't look back.

[Sandstorm99]

I know it has been a while since you posted this and maybe things have worked out, who knows. You will not win her back by doing the things that you think are right. You have to do the opposite of what is right in your mind. Do the right things when she is back with you but until then, you cannot make the typical mistakes. I've been through this garbage far too many times and I myself have made all the mistakes.
Do not buy her flowers
Do not tell her how much you love her
Do not waste any $ on her.
Do not try to explain that you will change things to win her back
Do not act sad or depressed, you must act as if you don't need her to be happy. We know in reality that she makes you happy but don't let her know this.
Do not worry about who she might be with one bit. Your concern is attracting her back to you. They don't always go away to try and find someone else. There could be so many things going through her mind.
Do not call her for quite some time. People just don't forget about someone they have been with for 3 years. Don't worry about her forgetting. There were a few things you might have done that caused the loss of attraction but don't be concerned or even worry about what might have gone wrong. Not calling her and avoiding her can create so many things at once. 1st it gets you out of the negative area that caused her to break off things. She will soon start to remember only the good things. 2nd is that she will start to worry about what you might be doing but she won't have a definite answer of what is actually going on. She will start to become jealous of nothing. 3rd she will feel like she was actually broken up with. It is time to punish her for breaking up with you and hurting your feelings. Do not allow yourself to be strung along. If she really wants to get back with you then she will find a way.

In the mean time. Go and try to meet other girls. If your ex comes back then great but there is no guarantee and you can't act like you are waiting for her. Being friends with her is a trap that is hard to get out of. They love to string guys along. I can guarantee you that if you keep trying to contact her then she will be pushed away even more. You have to pull her back to you, not push. Humans love what they can't have.

[jeremy4719]

I feel your pain... First of all, the comment, "could she still be missing me after 3 months... " needs to be addressed... When I was single, I missed my ex for around 3 years, not 3 months... Thought about her all the time... So don't worry about 3 months... If she does love you and/or wants to be with you, she and you will find the path to each other... Simple word of advice... TAKE A DEEP BREATH, then go get yourself a beer with a friend... Vent, get all that emotion out... After that, give her a call and tell her you would like to take her out for lunch on a date... Don't force any issues, just ease back into things with her... After a few lunch/dinner dates, then you can/should make a move to become her man again... I hope my ideas help... Good luck!

[altoids]

Leave her alone. I know it sounds bad but my boyfriend just broke up with me as well and the only way to see if she really wants to be with you is to let them go and don't contact her. When she realizes that you were the best thing for her she will come back and when she does don't b so quick to take her back.. it will only make her feel as though she has you and you will be there whenever she wants you and doesn't. Let her ponder about you and why U haven't picked up when she calls. And if she doesn't try to mend things with you after being together so long why would you want to be with a girl like that anyway.. maybe 6 yrs down the road she will decide that its not working...

[411Help]

Sorry Jeremy, but I have to disagree.

The last thing he needs right now is to get into contact with her again, and start from day one all over again.

Keep doing what you are doing, it gets better over time, trust me. She made it clear what she wants, now you need to make it clear to yourself what you NEED. And, you need to have a healthy life without her. Learn to love yourself.

[talaniman]

This thread is 2 and a half years old