[jdk3]

My boyfriend and I have been together for just over a year. He is a very unaffectionate person. No kisses unless we are being intimate, no holding hands, or cuddling or anything like that. His mother says that's just the way he is. He is 27, I am 32. After 7 DAYS of trying to get some intimacy from him, he asked my why I feel like I need to have sex all the time!! I don't, but at least once a week doesn't sound like too much to me! Am I crazy, or is he? We used to make love 3+ times a week. Now it's seems to be more of a chore to him than anything. And I know he is not cheating. If he is not at work, he is here. He tells me he loves me about once every 2 months or so. He calls me all the time when he or I are at work, but I feel more like this is a friends with (very occasional) benefits deal. Any thoughts?

[Clough]

Try telling him that you love him every time that you see him. I know of a married couple that have been together for many years. Believe it or not, she is a Christian and he is a Jew. The relationship does work for them.

My point is though, whenever he comes in the house from being at work, she tells him, "There's the love of my life!" And, they both tell one another that "I love you!"

It really is amazing. And, an example, concerning relationships, that other couples could learn from.

I really admire their relationship. I have told them so.

It sounds like you really need to have a heart-to-heart conversation with him concerning what you are feeling. It also sounds like the two of you, concerning your relationship, may just be in a rut and need to try something different in order to enhance and maintain the relationship - activities that you might do together, maybe learn something together that is new to both of you. Join a club together that concerns an activity in which both of you are interested. Make some new friends together as a couple.

People's sex drives will change from time to time. Understanding what another wants is the key. Also, understanding what another person wants physically in order to maintain the relationship is important. If he doesn't want to have sex as much as you do, that would not prevent him from fulfilling what you might want as far as the physical intimacy is concerned short of having sex. He could surely do that.

Again, have a heart-to-heart with him. I am hopeful that others will give their advise also. This has just been my attempt at doing that based upon my knowledge and experience.