[mel_needs_your_help]

OK so this is a long story so please bear with me but I need to explain the situation,

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 3 years and engaged for the last year,
On saturady night we went to a wedding and was satying with a bunch of people who are suppose to be our closest friends. When we got back to our apartment one of his friends asked me to come and talk to him as he said he needed to tell me something I didn't think any thing of it at the time as I thought it's a friend wanting to talk so I follwed him into the room to talk. Any way the boys had all been drinking quite a lot and this boy in particular was spastic drunk, and satarted telling me how he likes me and wants to be with me and I straight away stood up and said don't tell me this I don't want to know I'm in love with aaron and then this "friend" tried to pull my dress down and as I pushed him away and pulled my dress up mu boyfriend aaron walked in. aaron has always been a paranoid person so he has it concreted in his head that he knows what he saw, when even know I told him what actually happened he is still hurt and says he can't be with me any more because he has no trust in me any mor, so he has ended things and has all these people around him telling him he has done the right thing but won't even give me 5 minutes to try and show him much I love himand that I will do any thing to get him back, we have only spoken once since this has happened and he said that we are over but has promised to think about things, that was 2 days ago and I haven't heard from him since so my question is how do I show him that he can trust me and that I love him and will do what ever it takes and will wait how ever long he needs I miss him so much he was my world , my all

Any advice would be great!

[Haxzor50]

Wow...

Your pretty much s.o.l

So, if he was trying to pull your dress up, why didn't u smack him?

And umm the best thing to do would be to totally ignore him, and pretend you don't care... he'll go crazy, and eventually call you...

[mel_needs_your_help]

I hit the guy in the face but my ex thinks I'm just as bad as this guy for going to talk to him and yeah now I see why it was innapropriate but at the time I didn't think any thing of the situation I literally thought it's a friend needing to talk, now my ex says I put myself in this situation and I see that but I just wish I could show him how much I love himand I would seriously do any thing for him

[moomin007]

NO ONE asks to be sexually assaulted and your boyfriend is an idiot for even suggesting it!
If he hadn't have walked in, where do you think it would have ended up? Rape? Possibly.
I think you need to take a long hard look at what you're trying to save here. Is he going to get jealous every time you tsalk to another man? That's a short road to disaster... I speak from bitter experience.

I'm sorry to sound harsh but ANYONE who thinks that women (or men) put themselves in a situation and deserve what they get (which is what he has said) is a muppet for me.

Moomin

[Andreas_111]

Why do you girls do that? When another guy hits on you JUST WALK AWAY! It is so simple. My girlfriend did worse than you, she stayed to talk thinks out with the guy... What are you thinking?? When someone hits on you this way and espetially he is drung, you don't try to talk things out with him, he is crazy and dangerous can't you see that. In 9 out of 10 situations he would do something worse!
You girls need to think faster in those matters. It's a dangerous world we are living and people are bad! Even some of the closed people to me have caused me so much damage. Be careful!
As for your guy, try to talk with him and if he loves you he would understand. BUT don't let this happened again.. be more cautious.

[Tootruetooblue]

My take on this is that you should let him go, I'm sorry to say. I know it's hard when you care for someone, but he doesn't have a basic level of trust for you and that is a huge red flag. You should be able to have a private conversation with a male friend without him assuming the worst, and given what happened, he should have considered your explanation. You basically were attacked, and he should have stepped in to talk to the guy and make clear he won't tolerate that again, and he should have probably ended his friendship with the guy.

I can tell you that the men in my family and circle of friends are the real deal, stand-up guys and they would never even consider crossing the line with each other's wives or girlfriends.

Love is not this intense drama. It is calm and reasonable and caring and supportive and trusting. In a true love relationship you should feel freer than you have in the past, not constrained. You have a boyfriend who wants to control you, and it will only get worse when you marry him. If you want a guy who won't permit you to go to lunch with a girlfriend, spend time on the phone with your mother, have a job, pursue your interests - this is the guy to stay with.

[tobeamiss]

All good answers.

[Foxy459459]

Did something else happen for him not to trust you? Because that is the way that is sounds. But for him not to even take what you said in to consideration is bull-. His friend violated you, and instead of being a mad and protecting his girl he turnes his back on you and braked up with you? What kind of man is he? I say you are better off with out him. But I know we can not help who we love, I would say just give him some time. Time heals all wounds. Have you tried to maybe sit down and write him a letter. Ive learned that sometimes that does work, because then you get to get everything out that you want to say with out getting interuppted and off track. If he truly loves you he will come to his senses.

[LearningAsIGo]

If he already has insecurity and trust issues, this is probably the last straw, and the relationship may be over no matter what you do.

All you can do is ask him to believe you. He'll have to decide if he believes the story or not, you really can't do anything else at this point but give him space so he can think.