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Ray25 · Jun 26, 2009, 03:22 AM

Hello there,

I need some advice about a situation that has risen recently.

I work in an office with a small team, girls and guys, and we all went out for a social event recently, so I decided to bring some friends along to add to the numbers. A friend of mine saw a colleague of mine, and has basically ask me to set them up together if she is single, which she is.

Ive known the girl a few months, and haven't really thought much of her, mainly because I was in a relationship at the time, but not anymore. We talk at least 3 times per week at work.

Anyway to keep it short, I've tried to set her up with my mate, but in the process have fallen for her myself, and now I'm confused about what to do.

They have only interacted with each other 2 or 3 times, small talk, since this has started (about 4 weeks now). She has been in my mind the past few days constantly, and I find myself thinking of her even at night. Even another female colleague of mine thinks I "like" her.

My friend is good friend, and I think there is a chance this setting up will work, as the girl has asked me his name etc. However I also feel there could be a chance between me and her too, as we get on well, and I can sense a little spark there.

Ive recently come out of a relationship which I ended because it just wasn't working.

The whole team is going out for drinks in the next few days, and my mate is coming along again. I don't know what I'm going to feel if him and my collueage "get it on" so to speak, with me there. I don't know if I should say something to him, or her, or both, or just leave it, andl let fate decide.

Please help, I need advise.

frangipanis · Jun 26, 2009, 03:31 AM

You can't go against your own feelings or you'll be torn inside, so you need to come clean with both of them, now rather than later.

liz28 · Jun 26, 2009, 05:11 AM

I think that since you just came out of relationship it is easier to fall for someone your familiar with. You might think the feelings your feeling are of love but some how I think you're a little jealous. What if you do set her up with your friend and things between them soar--you can't handle that because you don't have someone to be happy with.

This girl might just only want to be friends but you want her because your friend want her. The ironic thing is that you didn't have the feelings you have for until your friend asked you to set him up with her.

Ray25 · Jun 26, 2009, 05:53 AM

I personally don't think this is jealosy as nothing has happened between them yet, although it might do soon. However I do feel like this girl may have something for me, but because I haven't really shown interest to her in the past, she won't pursue it, possibly because we work together and I've been with someone until recently. It only clicked in my head a few days ago that she is actually a great girl, but its too late as my friend is expecting me to report back to him with what she thinks about him and her getting together.

jolienoire · Jun 26, 2009, 07:22 AM

Originally Posted by Ray25

I personally dont think this is jealosy as nothing has happend between them yet, althought it might do soon. However i do feel like this girl may have something for me, but because i havent really shown interest to her in the past, she wont pursue it, possibly because we work together and ive been with someone until recently. It only clicked in my head a few days ago that she is actually a great girl, but its too late as my friend is expecting me to report back to him with what she thinks about him and her getting together.

You just got out of a relationship, and you work with her, the best thing is to keep the friendship in my opinion, especially because you work together and if it doesn't work, it would be a very hostile environment for you. It could also create a problem between, you and your friend.

talaniman · Jun 26, 2009, 08:00 AM

I personally don't think this is jealousy as nothing has happened between them yet,

I think its telling after all this time you develop feelings for someone after your friend asks you to set them up! If not jealousy then a close cousin, envy.

Regardless, don't ruin a good friendship at work, by getting carried away by these feelings.

Come on guy, you had every chance to make a move, and now since your friend is making one, with your help no less, step aside.