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    Chillaxguy90's Avatar
    Chillaxguy90 Posts: 45, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #1

    Jun 28, 2009, 03:45 PM
    Ex contacted me after 5 months.
    Hello everyone,

    Okay, first off, if you don't already know, my ex broke up with me in the beginning of February. We tried to remain friends afterwards, but after a fight we had, she told me I lived too far for us to remain friends. That's when we officially started NC.

    After such, I finally started to feel better and think about her less and less until now where I barely even think about her. I can truly say I am happy once more and have actually been out on a date!

    See, a couple of days ago, my ex texted me. She told me she needed a good friend, and the reason? The guy that she left me for broke up with her. I'm not a bad guy, I'm not a jerk, so I talked with her yes. I was nice towards her, told her she would find a guy that would treat her right, etc... Even though all I wanted to do deep down is start another argument and yell at her (or yell as best I could via texting). We didn't talk for long, because the more I talked with her the angrier I got. After this conversation, she has yet to get ahold of me since. Which personally I'm glad.

    The thing I can't seem to understand is, why did she contact me in the first place? Was she really trying to become friends again? Was she testing me to see if I would come running back to her? What was her point?

    Yes, like I said, I am glad she hasn't contacted again, but that doesn't mean I wasn't bothered by her texting me. I wouldn't be posting here if I wasn't. It made me think of her again. Yes, I know I should have never responded to her text, I know I should have never broken NC, so please don't yell at me for this, I realize my mistake. I'm not really sure if I'm really seeking the answers to the above questions, or if I'm seeking a little emotional boosting, but a little of both would be great. This site has helped me many times in the past, so thanks in advance... Chillaxguy90.
    snow124's Avatar
    snow124 Posts: 116, Reputation: 28
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    #2

    Jun 28, 2009, 04:15 PM
    Sounds like she just needed a shoulder to cry on.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #3

    Jun 28, 2009, 04:53 PM

    She contacted you because you have demonstrated in the past that you will be there when she has a problem and she will dump her problems on you, then move on.

    So she did it again. You'll hear from her when something else doesn't go right for her.
    ajGambino's Avatar
    ajGambino Posts: 317, Reputation: 97
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    #4

    Jun 28, 2009, 11:58 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by chuff View Post
    She contacted you because you have demonstrated in the past that you will be there when she has a problem and she will dump her problems on you, then move on.

    So she did it again. You'll hear from her when something else doesn't go right for her.

    I agree. Also, it might be because she feels guilty for leaving you for someone else. She just needed to make sure you weren't mad at her, so she can sleep better at night. I know it bothers you, but don't let it get to you.

    Stay on your own track and try not to take any U-turns.
    Chillaxguy90's Avatar
    Chillaxguy90 Posts: 45, Reputation: 0
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Jun 29, 2009, 06:34 AM

    Thanks guys. I talked to one of our mutual friends, and apparently what my ex told her was that she just wanted to talk to me. She didn't want me to think she wanted to get back together, she just wanted to talk. Makes no sense to me. But I'm going on a 2nd date tongight with another girl, so this should be off my mind rather quickly and it won't bother me anymore. Thanks again.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Jun 29, 2009, 06:35 AM

    Life gets hard for her, she falls back to you. When things go well, she doesn't need you anymore
    paxe's Avatar
    paxe Posts: 793, Reputation: 158
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    #7

    Jun 29, 2009, 06:38 AM

    You should try and send her a quick email or text to not contact you anymore. Tell her how you feel (that she is using you and she should feel really bad about it), that should do the trick
    jmw0713's Avatar
    jmw0713 Posts: 1,012, Reputation: 305
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    #8

    Jun 29, 2009, 06:41 AM

    I would have told her to find another "friend" to talk too. You shouldn't have to take that kind of disrespect from her. There is no way I would be talking to my ex about any guy trouble.

    I have to commend you though... you have handled yourself well. Just don't continue to subject yourself to her selfish needs. You deserve more than that.

    Good luck on your date!
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #9

    Jun 29, 2009, 06:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Chillaxguy90 View Post
    Thanks guys. I talked to one of our mutual friends, and apparently what my ex told her was that she just wanted to talk to me. She didn't want me to think she wanted to get back together, she just wanted to talk. Makes no sense to me. But I'm going on a 2nd date tongight with another girl, so this should be off my mind rather quickly and it won't bother me anymore. Thanks again.
    This is what life is about. Go out, date 'em all, and have fun! Let the BS from the ex go... you are enjoying yourself, which is what you are supposed to do. Keep on living man!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #10

    Jun 29, 2009, 08:57 AM

    She told me she needed a good friend, and the reason? The guy that she left me for broke up with her
    Okay you have done your good deed, so move ahead with your life, and don't trip. You must have made a remarkable change since you first came here. That's great.

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