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sunflower811 · Jun 17, 2009, 01:12 PM

I have a friend of mine, She's been dating this guy for two months, who just dumped her through a text message, then after he hadn't heard from her for a while, he calls up a friend of hers to ask whether she's moved on, and how she was doing. The girl said to him "after dumping her through a text message why do you need to know whether she's moved on, yeah she moved on she's very happy, Then he replied the reason why he dumped was because he felt that she was getting to attach. The girl called my friend and told her what the guy had had told her. My friend wants to know whether she should call the guy, or just let it go.

I wish · Jun 17, 2009, 01:39 PM

Let it go. Hearing this type of information just prolongs to pain and suffering. It is completely unnecessary. It's time to move on to better things in life...

CrazyThumper · Jun 18, 2009, 10:48 AM

OK.. check this out

1) The guy is immature for a few reasons.. he felt she was getting too attached to him, so he pushed her away instead of talking to her about it? Way to have open and honest communication. That's a failed relationshiop before it even got started.

2) He broke up with her through a txt message? Loser... no questions asked. Get some balls and man up and speak to her in person.

3) He called a friend of a friend to ask about her etc after he broke up with her through a txt? Red flags all around... he doesn't know what he wants.

Move on.

Thumper

sunflower811 · Jun 19, 2009, 07:48 AM

Originally Posted by CrazyThumper

ok..check this out

1) The guy is immature for a few reasons.. he felt she was getting too attached to him, so he pushed her away instead of talking to her about it? Way to have open and honest communication. That's a failed relationshiop before it even got started.

2) He broke up with her through a txt msg? Loser...no questions asked. Get some balls and man up and speak to her in person.

3) He called a friend of a friend to ask about her etc after he broke up with her through a txt? Red flags all around... he doesn't know what he wants.

Move on.

Thumper

You are right, but my friend has a lot of feelings for him still, and she keeps asking me whether she should call him

Justwantfair · Jun 19, 2009, 08:20 AM

Originally Posted by sunflower811

You are right, but my friend has alot of feelings for him still, and she keeps asking me whether or not she should call him

Ok and the answer is no.

She should also tell her friends, that she doesn't need any updates about her ex.

He did not show her any courtesy, why worry about showing him any? That is just giving him back the upper hand. Let him wonder.

sweet1028 · Jun 20, 2009, 11:10 AM

Everyone's right here. Your friend doesn't need a boy and I do mean boy, because a real man would never send a text message to break up. A real MAN would talk to her and let her know how he felt and that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. She doesn't need updates on him checking on her life as of now, she needs to move on and forget him.

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 12:05 PM

My friend decided to text him for father's day, and he replied "thank you darling what a suprise" so she answed your welcome. She wants to know whether she should call him

Justwantfair · Jun 24, 2009, 12:30 PM

No she shouldn't call him, I wouldn't even have recommended the Father's Day text.
If he walked away because she was too attached, how does that seem when she is looking for any excuse to make contact, that is just reaffirming his fear.

He clearly wasn't on the same page for where the relationship was heading and how fast.

Time to let go.

talaniman · Jun 24, 2009, 12:32 PM

NO, why hasn't he called her if he really cared. Maybe he has a babies mama that takes up his time.

Don't encourage her to keeping making a fool of herself.

N0help4u · Jun 24, 2009, 12:49 PM

He felt she was getting too attached so what is he going to feel if they get back together and he feels the same again?
What is she going to feel if he dumps her again?

artlady · Jun 24, 2009, 12:53 PM

He sounds immature and is regretting his decision.Maybe his plan B didn't work out.I agree with everyone here.Why waste time on this,what is past is past and the texting to break up is so cowardly and lame that it reflects on his character and I question that he has much.

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:09 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

NO, why hasn't he called her if he really cared. Maybe he has a babies mama that takes up his time.

Don't encourage her to keeping making a fool of herself.

I'm guessing the reason he hasn't called, is because I did tell him she moved on, and maybe he wouldn't know what to say if he did call her

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

He sounds immature and is regretting his decision.Maybe his plan B didn't work out.I agree with everyone here.Why waste time on this,what is past is past and the texting to break up is so cowardly and lame that it reflects on his character and I question that he has much.

Maybe he did regret his decision, but at the same my friend still has feelings for him. She has no clue on what to do, and I have no clue on what to tell her

Justwantfair · Jun 24, 2009, 01:14 PM

Originally Posted by sunflower811

Maybe he did regret his decision, but at the same my friend still has feelings for him. She has no clue on what to do, and I have no clue on what to tell her

For someone who isn't involved, I don't understand this statement.
The opinions have been fairly clear, consistent and repetitive.
For a 'friend' you seem a little unwilling to let this go. Your 'friend' needs to leave this guy alone and move on with her life.

N0help4u · Jun 24, 2009, 01:14 PM

If they do decide to get back together they need to have a serious talk first so they are on the same page about things.

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

No she shouldn't call him, I wouldn't even have recommended the Father's Day text.
If he walked away because she was too attached, how does that seem when she is looking for any excuse to make contact, that is just reaffirming his fear.

He clearly wasn't on the same page for where the relationship was heading and how fast.

Time to let go.

What she told me was, the reason she wants to contact him, is to tell him she's not mad at him for what happened, that she understands, and that she does not want to be enemies with him, she wants to know if she ever see him walking around one day, that she's able to say hi and he's able to say hi back

Justwantfair · Jun 24, 2009, 01:24 PM

Yet if she sees him walking around, let her say 'hi'.
He wanted her to back off, he thought she was too attached.
Yes he responded to her text, big deal.
I am not so rude that if my worse enemy texts me Happy Glockenspile that I ignore the text completely.
He texted back said an appropriate thank you, not 'gee, I miss you', 'it's so great to hear from you', 'been wondering how you were'... nothing...
He said thank you, that's it, because I am sure he was genuinely surprised that someone he is trying to distance himself from text him to say 'Happy Father's Day'.
This isn't rocket science.
He doesn't want to be attached.
He broke up via text message.
It's time to let him go.
Stop hanging on, you have no emotional involvement and you are just as clingy to the idea as she is.

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:25 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

For someone who isn't involved, I don't understand this statement.
The opinions have been fairly clear, consistent and repetitive.
For a 'friend' you seem a little unwilling to let this go. Your 'friend' needs to leave this guy alone and move on with her life.

Im unable to let it go, because I feel her pain, and she's like a sister to me, guys are jerks.
Yeah I've told her to move on when he dumped her through the text. All of a sudden he calls me out of the blue to see how's she's doing and if she's moved, ever since I told her what happened, she hasn't been able to leave his name alone, she's asking question here and there, she told me she sent him a text on Father's day, and so on and so forth

Justwantfair · Jun 24, 2009, 01:30 PM

A smart and true friend would know better than to reopen that wound for another friend.
There aren't any clearer answers to give.
A two month relationship is easier to let go of then two year.
Hold your red flag and find some peace.

sunflower811 · Jun 24, 2009, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

Yet if she sees him walking around, let her say 'hi'.
He wanted her to back off, he thought she was too attached.
Yes he responded to her text, big deal.
I am not so rude that if my worse enemy texts me Happy Glockenspile that I ignore the text completely.
He texted back said an appropriate thank you, not 'gee, I miss you', 'it's so great to hear from you', 'been wondering how you were'... nothing...
He said thank you, that's it, because I am sure he was genuinely surprised that someone he is trying to distance himself from text him to say 'Happy Father's Day'.
This isn't rocket science.
He doesn't want to be attached.
He broke up via text message.
It's time to let him go.
Stop hanging on, you have no emotional involvement and you are just as clingy to the idea as she is.

Everything your saying is true but this guy called a friend of her's and me to get updates on her, yes he broke up with her via text, why would he be calling around to get updates on her?