[jay092884]

Me and my sons mother met a little bit over 6 years ago at our old job. At the time, her daughter was almost 2 yrs old, who I've learned to love as my own. Well me and my sons mom started as friends, then started to mess around, and after about 6 months of that, we became boyfriend and girlfriend. Shortly after that, we fell in love with each other. Everything was great for the first 2 yrs or so then came along some dumb arguments over stupid little things. So for about the next yr and a half of all the bs arguments and breaking up and getting back together again, she asked me to meet up with her, and when we did, she told me that she was pregnant. At first, I thought she was kidding but obviously, she was not.

Anyway, we got back together and we moved in together. Ill admitt that even though my intentions were to do the right thing, at the same time, I started to go out more than usuall just to drink and be alone instead of putting a ring on her finger and showing her that I cared. There was no other woman involved, I guess I just got scared and started to act like a child. About a month after my son was born, I left. I never stopped seeing him or buying him what he need. So since then, we've been on and off over and over again. Now I want nothing more in this world other than to just have all three of them back in my life for good. Plain and simple, I want to be the man that she deserves and the father figure that the kids deserve. I want us to move out together and start fresh.

For the past 2 months I've done pretty much everything that you could think of to let her know that I really do love her with all my heart, and that I really want us to be happy together and make it work but she doesn't want to and I don't blame her. With all this being said, I think its time for me to move on, it just seems impossible to do so. What do I do?

[Oliver2011]

You didn't say so in your post but I guess we are to assume she doesn't share the same goal as you?

The problem with your moving on scenario is that you will be forever tied by having a son together. So there can never be a complete "I will never see or hear from this woman again" moving on.

You have to face reality. It takes two people wanting to be together to actually be together and she has not chosen that path. Keep yourself busy, go meet other women, pick your son up and leave immediately are some suggestions. The more active you keep your mind the more you won't have time to concentrate on the situation.

[jay092884]

Thanks for your advice but I didn't understand your question. What did you mean by the same goals, as far as what?

[Oliver2011]

Wanting to be together. She didn't and you did.

[talaniman]

You do the same thing as any divorced couple with kids do, you agree on the parenting visitaion and form of support (better through the courts) and work together and be great parents. And you build a separate life from hers.

Eventually you accept and get use to the new arrangement.

[jay092884]

That's pretty much what I was thinking. Again, thanks a lot for your advice, I appreciate it.