[confused_love]

I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 33. We've been together for 6 months and are very happy together. In every other respect, we have a perfect relationship - both have good jobs, nice homes, great friends, close families, no money worries, and not only do we get on fantastically well with one another, but we're also very attracted to one another.

We're both aware that we're in this for the long-term and have discussed getting engaged, but the only thing that's bothering me is that he won't sleep with me. We're both fairly attractive, confident people and we've both had sexual partners before.

I've spoken to him about the situation, and he tells me that he's been there, done that, and now doesn't want us to have sex until we're married. I've asked all the usual questions - is he gay? Is he cheating? But I honestly don't believe for a second that he is gay and, as far as cheating goes, it's highly unlikely. He's simply not the type (cliche, I realise), I know that he genuinely does love me, plus we work together and spend much of our free time together, so I don't think he'd have the opportunity to cheat even if he wanted to!

We've been on holiday together, and I thought it might be the opportunity for something to happen, but - as usual - we did nothing but cuddle. We've never even touched one another, although I have tried to initiate more. He's wonderful in every other way, but I'm concerned that I'm committing to a long term relationship which essentially means giving up my sex life. There's no guarantee that if/when we do get married, the situation will change.

I do think it's something I could live with, as no relationship is perfect and if this is my only complaint, I'm probably very lucky. But I can't help feeling that it's a fairly big complaint... Any help would be appreciated.

[Choux]

He presented you with the deal for marriage... it is up to you to decide if you want to have a sexless marriage or move on. A caveat: after you are married, your self-confidence may go south and hit the bottom without a sexual relationship with your husband.

Life is full of difficult decisions. :)


Best wishes in the future,