I don't know what I am doing wrong with my daughter
I see my daughter when her mother feels that she wants her to come over even though we have a court order from 6yrs ago. I will admit I missed the first year of my daughter's life, was in doubt that she was mine, but as soon as I got the DNA results, I made sure I paid my child support and got her as much as I could.
Her mother and I have never gotten along especially because I don't agree with the mother's life styles. She has never been with a man for more than a year and always has some excuse as to why she had to leave him. Sometimes it's even more than 3 different guys within the year that my daughter is exposed to.
When my daughter was 3, her mother and I got into a huge fight which resulted in me not being able to see my daughter for 8 months. I don't have a lot of money and I'm not poor but can't afford a lawyer. Then it got worse because one day out of the blue she decided that my daughter was OK to stay with me all of a sudden.
I kept her from her mother for the summer vacation because she happened to be picking that time for the court order to go into effect. Then the mother was furious and decided to do all kinds of things and had constantly tried to keep my daughter from me. It got to the point where my daughter said she missed me and wanted to see me so the mother had no choice but to give in "to shut her up" as she said. This made me happy in a way because I knew that my daughter had missed me and wanted to see her father.
Now what is happening is something I'm starting to see. Her mother lost custody to her son with another man and just got divorced from a different man after marrying this guy for 6months and only knowing him for 6months. Before you say anything, my wife and I only knew each other for 5 months when we got married, 7 years strong now.
I understand not every relationship works out but its pretty ridiculous.The problem being my daughter is upset because she can't see her brother from the other man and knows that the other man does not love her and yesterday did something horrific to me and broke my heart. She is only 6 and will be 7 next month but when she got here and I've not seen her in 3 weeks she crys, kicks, and screams at the top of her lungs and I had to pull her out of the car while she's screaming and saying that she hates me.
She loves playing with her brothers and sister here but the way she acted was just out of control and I talked to her and asked her what was wrong. Apparently, her mother had not seen her for 3 days prior to the drop off and my daughter missed her mom and her brother. This is where I get confused because after she calmed down, she is just fine and then today she spoke with her mother on the phone and started to get upset again and cry and I had to take the phone away before she got out of control again. I could understand if she was beaten, molested or anything like that but this is a 180 from the case here.
She is loved, cared for, and she is never sent somewhere while I go away for days at a time. I make sure I'm off work, even call out sometimes just to make sure I can spend the time with her. The mother is unemployed for as long as I've known her and told my daughter she had to work and find a new place to live. The problem is, is that she is lying to my daughter and my daughter is too blind to see it and I don't exactly like to dog her mother in front of her.
So what do I do to change my daughter's view and just to clear things up? I've been married to the same woman for 7 years now and we have 3 kids together so I've got 4 kids total and treat them equally and no I'm not out there just going from woman to woman and my daughter has a constant in her life over here.
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