[missbeach123]

I'm in a long distance relationship with my new boyfriend of three months. Things moved very quickly when I was with him this summer at my hometown. We fell in love, and I've never felt about anyone like this before, also I've never spent so much time with a boyfriend before. I had to go back to school out of state last week, and we both equally agreed we wanted to stay together, it wasn't even a question to him. He is more mature than me, at 25 and I'm 20. We were inseparable all summer, so we never really developed a great connection through talking on the phone. OKAY enough background

My question is this... Do you all think things can work seeings how we don't really have great phone convos? We talk about our days, laugh a little, and then we end the conversation. Its always brief, maybe 10 to 15 minutes once a day. Im left feeling slightly unfulfilled. Also, today he didn't call me at all, but I know that he is attending a wedding a reception so I figure he's dancing and partying. But still, is this normal? Am I being too paranoid about the phone? I felt kind of bad not to get a call today at all. I can see him twice a month for four days, but I'm starting to assume that maybe he's just not great with phone convos, (He got his first cell phone 6 months ago for example).

Does this sound healthy? I just really want things to work out and I need advice on how to build a better vibe on the phone so he doesn't feel so far away to me. Also if he's not calling me everyday, is this indicitive of his feelings?? He's called everyday so far but today. Please advise... I have a tendency to over analyze, so please set me straight if I have.

[MayMsredrose]

HI there... Well do not worry that much that he did not call you today , you have mentioned that he is busy in wedding reception so take it easy on yourself... In addition I have great news for you... your relationship can work especially that you can see him twice a month for 4 days this period is good enough for the time being to be with him and compensate the days when you are far away from him... In addition it will give both of you a chance to figure out if your love is strong and is going to survive or not... as for that he is not good in conversation , well can not you communicate with him through e-mails, chatting, or writing letters, sending cards... etc? For how long you will be in your school? I mean when you are going to graduate?

GOOD LUCK..

Ms.Redrose

[missbeach123]

I have two years left. I have free airfare always, so its really convienent, and only one hour away flight. I am super anxious about this working because I care so much, I just wish I knew how to find security within myself without having to be reassured.

How can I tell him, gently, that I really like it to get a call at least once a day? I know it may sound silly, but its really key for me to have that, at least just to say goodnite. I can call him too I know, but I want a balance.

Any other ideas for strengthening long distance relationships? Especially when they're relatively new relationships to begin with? I want this to survive, he is the first guy I can actually see forever with..

[kt1205]

I had to go afew months without seeing my boyfriend. And we didn't get to talk much. Just try to talk as much as you can. But also being away from each other may bring you 2 closer like it did for me and my boyfriend. Then again it may not.

[MayMsredrose]

Well, while you are talking to him tell him with very feminine way that the day ou don't hear his voice you feel something is missing... etc...

GOOD LUCK

Ms. Redrose

[kk5550123]

No long releationships will never work no amtter how sttrogn the love is u and him will find some one else to have fun with and by then u will forget about him and he will do the same if u can't see each other once a day week or month then I will say probably not , good luck try it for two more weeks and then ask him what he thinks

[missbeach123]

So He didn't call me all Saturday or Sunday. I was finally getting a little bothered, especially after confiding in some girlfriends and they agreed it was a little weird, especially since we've been so inseparable all summer. I called and got the message, and hung up. I let a few hours go by, and looked again, no response... I knew he wasn't doing anything. I called and left a message... Two hours later I got a response.

At this point I felt kind of ticked off, like he was probably looking at his phone, and ignoring or silencing my call. Two calls in a two day period is not unreasonable, I was wanting to know what's up.

Well, on the phone he acted like super casual. No "baby" or "sweeties" like usual. Really bland conversation, and no "Oh my gosh I've been so busy sorry I couldn't get back to you"..!

This is so new to me, he's never not been pursuing me, and I felt a little put off by the fact he didn't at least comment on the fact that he missed my call. So I said in the sweetest voice at an appropriate time: "Hey it would be really nice to hear from you most days, even if its just to say a quick hello or a text, it makes me feel really good and I don't feel so far away from you, and you know I love talking to you" His response was barely anything!! I felt so far away, a friend overheard the conversation because it was on speaker and she said he didn't sound too receptive to my comment. So at this point I was thinking screw this conversation Im over it, so I told him I had to go, and he said I'll call you tmrw and I said OK and goodbyes, no sweet dreams, no warmth. Is going on? We were fairytale good. Is he just not into the phone? We did spend a week together straight when he helped me move in, but that was five days ago. PLEASE comment, I want this to work...

[MayMsredrose]

Well from what I read... am sorry to say that he does not love you enough to make this relationship survive... I had a hope just like you that distance will not effect him because he can see you twice a week , but it's obvious that the proverb which says " out of sight out of mind" applies on him... I think he met someone in that wedding reception you said he is busy with and he liked her so much and he forgot about you and when you called him twice and said that you miss him.. etc he feels now guilty and has no courage to face you... the best way is that you do not call him wait for his call and see what he is going to say in his next conversation and what is going to be his excuse for not calling you although I think that he is either going to tell you that he want to break or he will not have the courage to call you or talk about it... if he did not call... DON'T CALL.. I know it's hard but you should not call or communicate by anyway if he does not call... wait till it's time you will travel to see him and confront with him.. open up and tell him how much you feel for him and that your dream his too till short period that this relationship works... You should also prepare yourself that he might ask for a break... and know very well that you can not force anyone to love you.. if he wants you he is a winner if not he is the loser not you... you are winner on both cases because in the 1st you are loving him in return in 2nd you are not wasting your time, money, emotions on someone does not care /love you the same way you you feel towards him...

Good Luck.

Ms. Redrose

[missbeach123]

Eek don't you think it's a little soon to draw conclusions like that? I don't know I didn't think it was that epic its really only our first little hump, he has treated me like the best thing to happen to him up until two days ago. I don't think he's a cheater... ugh you've got me super worried redrose! He did say he'd call tmrw, I don't know, maybe he was just taken back by my comment? Were so in love when were together... AH worried. Im seeing him Thursday.

[MayMsredrose]

My dear.. am telling you this from my experience... the first time I have discovered that my ex-bf is cheating on me exactly the same scenario took place... I do not want to make you worry but also I do not want to you to get the shock of your life... I have learned something from life... do not find excuses for someone... just wait and listen for theirs... got it?? In addition , you said it's the first time he treats you that way since your relationship started which means something really is going on... do not you agree with me?? He did not even say anything to you when you told him how you feel towards him... one of the flashy sign that the relationship is in danger or you are losing or already lost your boyfriend, when he does not call you as frequent as before or when he does not call you sweetie... etc as he used to call you... AGAIN... do not get worried I know it's hard but all I want form you is to get prepared for anything...

Take care of yourself & am there for you..

Ms. Redrose

[MayMsredrose]

Hello missbeach123... I hope that you are OK... did not see you online for the last few days! Did you see him.. I hope things went well for you..

Take care.

Ms. Redrose

[talaniman]

LDR's are hard on even the most mature of people, and every little thing gets magnified out of proportion, and its easy to just speculate, since the other person is so far away. Its hard to be on the same page, and we can be so insecure when our calls don't come through often enough. Try not to get carried away with your emotions and keep expectations realistic, and time will tell if this will work or not. I wish you luck as your strangers to each other, and its hard to get to know each other with the distance between you.

[missbeach123]

So Im sorry I haven't been on but everything is great between me and him. After the one night he didn't call, I told him I really liked to hear his voice etc... and he made the effort to call ever since without it being brought up. I just spent the weekend for him, and we were happier than ever. Also, we worked out that we would get to see each other about every two weeks, with our schedules permitting. We are very different people, but we like what each one brings to the table, so currently, everything is good. Plus, were both very busy now during the weeks, so spending the weekend together is extra special and rewarding.

[gallivant_fellow]

I think the reason that you might seem unfullfilled is beacause your boyfriend might not be a telephone kind of person. Talking on the phone can sometimes be like Kryptonite to guys. Every guy I know likes using their cell phones and everything, but they don't like having long conversations. I think you should try e-mailing or chatting with each other. It's more engaging. Plus, in a typed message, you can get what you want to say just right before you send it. I'm absolutely sure that he will enjoy it more than sitting somewhere with a phone to his ear, trying to think of something to say. Good luck.

[MayMsredrose]

Am so happy for you... well wish you the best...

Ms. Redrose