Originally Posted by
sandrathomas
I already know that the parents are very lenient and that they sleep together when he stays over. Her parents have always been like that and as she is 20 she has already had a number of serious relationships, who also slept over. This is my sons first proper girlfriend. I suppose I am blaming myself for things having gone so wrong!
He is most likely a little bit overwhelmed with this girl as she is older and more experienced.
I think the parents allowing a variety of boys to sleep over is a big mistake.
I was hoping that perhaps they would be in your corner but it would appear they are very free thinking and not setting any boundaries for their daughter.
Bottom line,if he does not want to comply with your house rules,perhaps you do need to cut him off financially to get your point across.
He sounds like a good kid who is just head over heels with a more mature and experienced girl who is most likely encouraging him to be with her.
Blaming yourself for anything is very counter productive and achieves nothing.
I would sit down and have a serious chat about this and lay down the law,while still allowing him some independence.
Try to compromise.
It a tough time for a parent when the kids are leaving the nest and we know they don't possess the necessary skills to do so.
We can't protect them forever however and have to allow them the opportunity to make mistakes and grow from them.
Hang in there ,it does get better :)