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angiemrcd · Apr 5, 2010, 04:52 PM

My boyfriend and I we currently stay in a hotel and he is the only one working at the moment. He is planning on attending school but his parents believe that us keeping the baby will hold us back and not be right for her... I don't want to give her up, is there any way that I can get some type of assistance where I can get help so I wouldn't have to consider adoption?

hheath541 · Apr 5, 2010, 04:56 PM

Where are you? Country? State? The type of assistance depends largely on where you live.

angiemrcd · Apr 5, 2010, 05:06 PM

I live in orlando Florida but if there's better help in another state I'm willing to travel... I'll do what ever it takes to be able to keep my child making sure I can give her what she needs.

hheath541 · Apr 5, 2010, 05:09 PM

Have you tried applying for state aid? Food stamps and medicare/medicaid?

If you're worried about being able to provide clothing and toys and whatnot, try talking to local churches. They may be willing to take up a collection from members of baby clothes and supplies.

angiemrcd · Apr 5, 2010, 05:17 PM

I do have medicaid but my boyfriend makes too much for food stamps or tanf.. I was able to get WIC and Plan on breast feeding... the main thing is just my bf's parents they're pushing for us to find some type of counceling that would help with guiding us in finding assistance or put her up for adoption.

hheath541 · Apr 5, 2010, 05:33 PM

In the end, it's YOUR decision. They can't make you give your child up for adoption.

Was the income calculated for a family of two, or three? It may be that you'll qualify for food stamps after the baby's born. You might also be able to apply without claiming his income, since you're not married.

Synnen · Apr 5, 2010, 09:06 PM

Moved to "Children" because this thread is about parenting, not adoption.

Frankly, I suggest a counselor. You can see one for free at a number of social service agencies, Planned Parenthood, or any number of resources. Yes, it's your decision, and no one can MAKE you choose adoption. A counselor can walk you through ALL of your choices, and help you make decisions rationally regarding your life and your child's life.

However--you need to not just think of yourself. You need to think of your child as well.
You're not working. You don't have a home--you're living in a hotel, for god's sake! (as an aside, I wish that *I* could afford to stay in a hotel and still be able to qualify for state aid). You NEED to see a counselor, because right now you are not thinking of your child--you are thinking of yourself.

As a birthmother, I would NEVER try to talk someone into adoption. As a PERSON, though--I really urge people to consider ALL of their options.

Please consider the following: You are not working. You don't have a home. Neither of you has a college education. You don't have the support of family currently. You don't have a plan on how to utilize state aid--much LESS a plan on how to get Off state aid.

So... see a counselor. Contact Lutheran Social Services, or Catholic Social Services, or Planned Parenthood--who, contrary to belief, helps PLAN for a family. Figure out how you're going to actually provide a child with ANYTHING. Then start figuring out what you're NOT going to have in your life to fund that.

Yes, parenting can be done, and if you choose to parent, congratulations. But--I agree with your boyfriend's parents: You need to see a counselor and stop making decisions based solely on feelings, and start working some rationality into that.