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SAB123 · Apr 23, 2007, 11:10 AM

My selfish Ex fiancé broke up with again, about 6 times with me. Its been about 3 months since this break up. In the beginning she refused to give ring back. We have been emailing each other a little bit threw out break up. About 2 weeks ago I told her to leave me alone forever. But she still has ring and gave her some money for new boob job. The ring was about $7000.00 and gave $2000.00 toward boobs. I do have all reciepts for ring I did give her 2 checks totaling $2000.00 When I gave her the checks she got boobs done about a week later. I do have e-mails of how evil she was to me on saved. She is a paralegal so she does no law. But when I asked for it back she said I broke up with her. But as she cooled down and I wanted us to get back she clearly says she broke up with me and her saying I did give her money for boobs. My question is do I have a chance to win. I do think she wonts to try to get me back again but I'm done with her.

ScottGem · Apr 23, 2007, 11:12 AM

Not a chance In my opinion. You gave her gifts. Gifts are not returnable if the relationship breaks up.

SAB123 · Apr 23, 2007, 11:17 AM

It wasn't on a holiday or her birthday. I gave her ring and boob money because we were getting married.

ScottGem · Apr 23, 2007, 12:30 PM

Doesn't matter!

Emland · Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM

I thought as long as you gave the ring as a gift towards a future marriage you had the right to have it returned. That rule doesn't apply if it was given on a birthday, xmas or valentine's, etc.

You're SOL on the boob job. Count that as money shot on a recreational vehicle! Unless you had a written agreement that she would pay you back.

You wrote on a different post that you question her sanity since she has broken up with you 6 times in 4.5 years, but seriously, you took her back. Once or twice I can see, but 6?!

SAB123 · Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM

But isn't an engagement ring a contract to marry me.

missk · Apr 23, 2007, 12:51 PM

I think all you're going to get from this is a learned lesson. Sorry :(

Capuchin · Apr 23, 2007, 12:55 PM

If you're truly done with her, then get out of there and don't drag it out with trying to get money back and oneupmanship. You might have a chance of getting the ring, but I doubt it. The boob job is either a gift... or something you bought for your own pleasure.

The worst way to end a relationship is by dragging it out by bickering over this sort of thing. I understand that $7k is a lot of money, but it's money you spent on the relationship. Just get up and walk away.

Emland · Apr 23, 2007, 12:57 PM

You could always try taking her to small claims (isn't the max 5k?). The action may be enough to get her to give the ring back. I can't imagine it would look good for her at work to be sued for something like that. Here in VA it would only cost you about $30 to file.

ScottGem · Apr 23, 2007, 12:57 PM

Etiquette requires that an engagement ring be returned. But I don't think the law does.

SAB123 · Apr 23, 2007, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by Emland

I thought as long as you gave the ring as a gift towards a future marriage you had the right to have it returned. That rule doesn't apply if it was given on a birthday, xmas or valentine's, etc.

You're SOL on the boob job. Count that as money shot on a recreational vehicle! Unless you had a written agreement that she would pay you back.

You wrote on a different post that you question her sanity since she has broken up with you 6 times in 4.5 years, but seriously, you took her back. Once or twice I can see, but 6??!!

In the past when she broke up with me I was emotionlly ustable, I just missed her so much and wanted her back. This time listening to people on here I've let myself to start healing and then started to put everything into perspective. I guess love is blind to some people

missk · Apr 23, 2007, 12:59 PM

Yeah I think it is wrong for her not to return the ring.

missk · Apr 23, 2007, 01:00 PM

Yep-you got it-love is blind.

SAB123 · Apr 23, 2007, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by Capuchin

If you're truely done with her, then get out of there and don't drag it out with trying to get money back and oneupmanship. You might have a chance of getting the ring, but i doubt it. The boob job is either a gift... or something you bought for your own pleasure.

The worst way to end a relationship is by dragging it out by bickering over this sort of thing. I understand that $7k is a lot of money, but it's money you spent on the relationship. Just get up and walk away.

I don't care if I get ring back, it's the fact she used me and I don't want her to have it. I believe she is still wearing it.

Originally Posted by missk

Yeah I think it is wrong for her not to return the ring.

She's playing head games with me again and I believe she wants to come back but I don't want her.

missk · Apr 23, 2007, 01:12 PM

I think you need to just leave her alone. You know she is playing games with you so you got to let it go. If you don't want her then you have to leave her alone. Just don't have contact with her anymore-ever.

Emland · Apr 23, 2007, 01:26 PM

I would want the ring back.

missk · Apr 23, 2007, 01:31 PM

Maybe if you leave her alone and act as if you don't care anymore, maybe she'll give the ring back.

froggy7 · Apr 23, 2007, 05:49 PM

It used to be that if the guy broke the engagement, the woman got to keep the ring as "recompense" (essentially, she took herself off the market for the guy, and would now have a harder time getting married because she was older and had the broken engagement against her). That idea has pretty much fallen by the wayside now.

So it's up to etiquette now. And it depends once more on who broke up with whom. And, to be frank, after 6! Break-ups and reconciliations, that is probably a very muddy question.

Best bet is to count yourself lucky that you didn't marry this person and walk away from the situation. Especially since you've said that you don't want the ring, you just don't want HER to have it. That's not going to look good to a judge, especially if she has anything from you where you've said that she could keep it. Walk away, get healthy, find someone new. The best revenge is to live life well.

CaptainForest · Apr 23, 2007, 10:34 PM

Take her to small claims court.

If she ended the engagement, you should get the ring (or its value) back in court.

As for the boob job, she will claim that was a gift, you say loan…let your evidence (and they judge) be the deciding factor on that point.

I sometimes watch Judge Judy on FOX. I have seen her order the ex girlfriend fiancé give the ring back to the ex boyfriend when it was the girlfriend who broke off the engagement.

SAB123 · Apr 24, 2007, 05:29 AM

I'm not going to go after the ring she keep it and shove it up her butt.