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kentkane45 · Dec 10, 2008, 07:34 PM

We have a 21 yo daughter that has a GED education works as a casher and is engaged to a 32 yo looser with no job and lives with his grandmother. (Made for TV movie?) Needless to say she still lives at our house with my wife, me and our 16 yo daughter. She has been living at our house for free in hopes that she will save her money get a car and eventually go back to school or move into her own place. We just found out that all of her money was going to the loving boyfriend and is broke. Last week we learned that she had become engaged and is pregnant in that order. She doesn't understand why we are not jumping for joy. Her plan is to have and raise the baby at our house until they save enough money to get a place of there own. Part of me (no most of me) wants to send her to her boyfriends and his grandmother's house. Is raising your grandchildren a new trend? My wife is beside herself and doesn't want raise this child but I know she will want to do what's in the best interest for the baby.

What choice do we have!

N0help4u · Dec 10, 2008, 07:40 PM

Okay she is in your house so you tell her that she will start paying you a percentage of her money and then you save it for her or you send her back to the bf's. He is the one getting the money so he can be the one to make sure she has a roof over her head.
If she wants you to raise the baby tell her that you will if she makes it legal/official through the courts. Yes I know many grandmothers that are raising the grand baby. The mother takes the kid at her convenience because legally it is still hers. Then she decides she doesn't want to be bothered for a weekend, a month, a holiday or whenever so she 'drops' the baby off at grandma's again. Sure it is nice to have the grand baby for a visit but the way they go about it can make the kid confused and then the kid starts calling grandma or everybody mommy.

450donn · Dec 12, 2008, 08:01 AM

Rules,rules,rules. You must establish rules for her if she is going to continue to live under your roof. If she is unwilling to abide by those rules, then she can go pound sand. One of my girls came home for a short time after her divorce and we had rules for her. Take it or leave it!