[Homegirl 50]

If she is still seeing these guys how do you know she is not drinking with them and nothing else is going on?
She says she will change, how? Will she stop seeing these guys? She has not stopped talking about them to you (which I think is rather tacky and inconsiderate) like you have asked her too. She is still in contact with these guys. This is why you can't get it out of your head.
I'm still not understanding what is so great about this relationship.

[Pboy87]

Well.. I don't want her to change her ways of living.. I don't want to stop her from anything that she does or has been doing.. I don't mind changing my thinking process and morals for her.. I completely trust her that even if she's out with them, nothings going to happen because she loves me. I have faith in my love for her and hers for me( I hope I'm right).. She has kind of cut down mentioning them since I told her.. but not completely yet.. Hope she does.. and well, I Know she is drinking with them, she tells me, that she is drinking with them, the one night stand and all.. but she won't cheat on me.
She has kind of cut down her contact with these guys and now hr friends are pestering me to find out why she isn't meeting those people who are her best friends and if any fight has taken place between her and that friend. She doesn't want to tell her friends the truth because she thinks it will just portray me in bad light. So she is cutting contact.. as in meeting him.. maybe on the phone they are still always connected.. as when we were together last time the rebound text her and this one night stand keeps commenting on her statuses on Facebook daily.
The reason I like this relationship is... I have been a kind of flirty guy.. she doesn't seem to have any problem with it. My flirting is harmless, but other girls I dated would have a problem even if I looked at any other girl. She is secure.. doesn't get jealous easily.. and the profession I am in.. I catch constant attention and girls do flock around me.. showbiz.. so I can't be with an insecure girl or I'll be killed by her after any performance if girls come to meet... and well.. sometimes the quickies are good..

[CarrotTalker]

"after any performance if girls come to meet...and well.. sometimes the quickies are good.. "

What does that mean?

And your complaining about her. LOL. Double-standard much?

[Homegirl 50]

Harshness alert


Are you serious? This thing sounds so dysfunctional it is hard to believe it's true.
Perhaps she doesn't worry about you or gets jealous is because she couldn't
Care less what you do.
If you think this lady is going to change her ways for someone she has known all of 5 months good luck.
Personally I think you are either delusional or none of this is true. Your story changes too much.
One post she is not seeing these guys anymore and the next she is but you trust her.

Good luck whatever you do

[Pboy87]

No nO.. The quickies with my grifriend are good. And as I'm not showbiz girls flock around all the time.. they are two separate sentences..

[Pboy87]

See.. when we first met.. she would talk with these guys everyday over the phone.. putting me on hold.. now she drinks with them but once in a mnth or so... the contact has reduced contct. Thts what I mean..
She doesn't get insecure or jealous evr.

[Homegirl 50]

I don't think she cares enough to get insecure or jealous. She has you wrapped tight.

[Pboy87]

What do you mean by wrapped tight?
I still can't get ovr the fact that she doesn't remember what she did when drunk.. she must have had sex and doesn't remembr.. chances are less that the guy doesn't remembr as well.. mayb he was aware of what he was doing.

[Pboy87]

AAAAAAH.. today she tells me that she had gone 3rd base on the rebound guy.. she gave him a blow but he didn't eat her out.. I'm the only one to have done that to her (but she has in the past said her exes have done it to her).. and that she still thinks she just madeout and went topless with her one night stand.. but because I asked.. how does she remember when she was so drunk she started thinking and thinks maybe she did more.. but personally she feels only making out happened.( by the way, her making out includes handjobs.. )..
She is saying one thing and then next day saying something else..
BTW, important piece of info.. she suffers from epilepsy.. and once when she got an attack I was present and I held her and she felt very safe with me.. safer than what she even feels with her mother. And always phones me up if she feels she may get an attack as she feels if she can feel my presence I can distract her from it.. she visits a psychologist regularly etc as her mental frame isn't right..

[Homegirl 50]

This girl has you wrapped means you don't even think. She does her thing and you're here asking why it bothers you that she gets drunk with her buddies and gives them blow jobs and tells you about it then you are telling yourself she would never cheat on you.
You two have been together 5 months, what is the relationship built on? She has told you the sex is no good, all you get are quickies, you can't get put of your mind what she does with other guys when she hangs out with them and gets drunk. Go back and read all of this. What you tell some other guy about this?
You are not using your head.

It seems to me she knows what she is doing and doing to you and she doesn't care. You are continually making excuses for her. I wonder how long before she becomes bored with you and leaves. You hear dude. Leave this girl alone. There is nothing positive about this relationship.

[Pboy87]

Well.. she says she did all this before we met.. never after we met and started dating..
But she gave me too many details about it..
And the worst bit is.. Some parts I can relate.. but can't relate to the fact that when she is Low.. and depressed.. giving others a blowjob helps her.. I mean even if they satisfied her it would be OK.. but.. here.. she is the one doing things to them.. oral sex means surrendering to the other person.. The other people surrendering to her would be like an ego boost for her if she is depressed or lonely.. how does she giving blows give her an ego boost.
The sex wasn't good at first.. but it is getting better slowly.. She has a very high sex drive, unlike other girls that I have dated... and so do I..
The relationship was basically built on friendship. We are almost as good as each others best friends now. When we started dating we were in two mind whether to continue or stay friends because the friendship was really building fast.. I am apparently Used to her now.. I do love her but I think its more that I'm used to her.. she says she is In love with me and can spend her life with me.
I don't believe in changing a person.. I'm trying to adjust according to her.. I just makes me sick to think that she gives blowjobs to guys who are her friends.. or when she is depressed.. or lonely.. Not because she gave them.. because I feel she was used by the guys.. but she doesn't see it.. She says she used the guys.. but.. is it possible that girl can use a guy? When she is the one giving him a blow?

[answerme_tender]

My Opinion only---

I think you BOTH deserve each other. Neither one of you appear to know what a true relationship consist of. Believe me its not SEX. It's a combination of trust,friendship,compassion,compromise,attraction, and all those make up love. I realize that you are both young, but if your going to practice grown up relations then you need to be mature enough to learn to either accept your partners past or move on, but if you stick around then you have made a choice and need to STOP complaining all the time about her!! Either accept or move on.

[Pboy87]

Thanks.. this is what I needed.. seriously.. someone to tell me to STOP thinking because I have made my decision to stay with her.. we have all the mentioned points that you said.. its just the past issue that bothered me..

[Homegirl 50]

You two are not on the same page as far as sex is concerned. She tells you she was not being used, take her word for it. You just don't want to admit that you think she is loose and it makes you uncomfortable.
Why don't you two just be friends then it won't matter what she does with other guys.
I think you know this is not a good relationship but you don't want to let go. You need to.

[Just Looking]

People aren't perfect. You really need to let this go if you want to stay with her and focus on what is important.

[Pboy87]

I'll give it one last shot.. till date. Whenever e have fought.. it has been because of her past.. that I got uncomfortable with. Her past blowjobs.. one night stands.. etc.

[Homegirl 50]

You two have been involved for only 5 months.
If her sexual practices and drinking past bothers you and it obviously does especially since she still interacts with these guys, you need to cut her loose.
I'm not saying either one is right or wrong, everyone has things that may be a deal breaker and preferences in a relationship.
I would not want a man who when he gets drunk he put his mouth or Johnson in any old thing and then tells me about it like it is a badge of honor.
But if something bothers you early on in a new relationship and you can't let go, that is a sign you need to move on.

[Pboy87]

I think I'll stay with her... I find my best friend in her.. and we'll be friends till I can get over her past and accept her fully.. (btw, she doesn't have a prob with my past, she doesn't know most of it.. but whatever she knows.. she doesn't have a problem.. )
We ( me and my girlfriend) were discussing it and I told her.. what a spiritual lady told me.. that blowjob and oral sex means you are surrendering to the other person.. usually because of love.. or if you are a satisfaction 'giver' then for ego boost, (that I am good at it).. or if your ego is completely dead.. But my girlfriend disagrees... she believes that surrender would be when the person orgasms.. as that is the most vulnerable state a person can being when they reach climax and exposing that vulnerable state to someone is a surrender.. what say?

[Pboy87]

Well.. she has got drunk many times.. but this sex incident happened once when she was in a depressed lonely state.I don't mind her being friends with anyone else.. but I think these guys took advantage of her mental depressed state.. thts why don't like them

[answerme_tender]

I am tired of this OP.

Personally I think you just get off writing about explicit sexual activities. You don't give a rat's what anyone has for advice, put it does give you great pleasure to write about your girlfriends sexuality. I think your just a perv.