[blio2000]

talaniman thanks for the light you have shed on this situation, it really is good advice. It is definitely good to put yourself first in some relationships. In my last relationship this was not the case however. After a 7 month period I found myself again, learned from the past and decided that an opportunity presented itself and I wasn't going to pass it up. I really do feel ready for a relationship, and not just o have someone there, but to be there for someone else. In many ways I do put myself first, and it has been a good feeling. That was an important lesson learned. Thank you again for bringing up such an important point, and reminding me.

[talaniman]

Thanks for the kind words, just keep in mind that it takes time to build anything, be it communications, trust, love, and especially understanding, whether its of yourself, or the partner you chose. It takes time to see if the actions to match the words, and only in time, will you know if you can work together, through honest communications, to really resolve any issues to the benefit of you both.

You have to both define the relationship to establish the boundaries of good behavior that allows for learning, and growth, and the adjustments along the way.

For now, just have fun getting to know each other, and see where it goes. There is really plenty of time for the deep soul searching, before you give your all to a stranger.

At least let the lust wear off so the love can grow, and that in itself, takes time.

To much, to fast, crash and burn.

[none12345]

My ex - girlfriend had a "really close guy friend" until he became her boyfriend.

[blio2000]

Hey everyone, so this is the latest. My girlfriend of almost 4 months pretty much broke it off with me yesterday out of some kind of frustration. We both live at home with our parents and it is very hard to find private time together. We live in a small town that really doesn't have much at this time of year. We go for coffee a few days out of the week because we both work and go to school until the evening. On the weekend I always take her out, whether it be movies, hotels getaways, the city, a bar, dinner. Everything just seems like its not enough. Im always the one the doesn't mind what we do as long as we are together. She says I don't like to have fun but of course I do.

Last night we had 3 parties that we were invited to, yet she didn't like the sound of any of them, blamed me for it and then the breakup talk came along. What confuses me is that she loves me so much and I her. She always makes sure I know this and its an amazing feeling. This is a new love and its very strong. She was crying and told me how much she would miss me. We couldn't get off the phone with each other and then ended up talking about this. I told her to look at the big picture and if we love each other that much, and care about each other, and make each other happy. Everything else will just come. We will have to just put up with not going out and doing crazy things ALL the time. I just don't know how to make her happy here and don't want to lose her.

She also brought up the fact that we only sleep together once a week sometimes twice, when it used to be all the time. This frustrates me too, I want to move out but I need to find a better job. I am done school in only 2 months. We just don't have the privacy. We are still soooo attracted to each other but it's a frustration. I just need some advice on this situation. Maybe some experiences that other have had. What really hurt me is that she could so easily call it quits yesterday. But we spent the night together last night and it was so amazing. I just don't want to have to worry about this ending out relationship. She always tells me that she's lucky to have me, yet this comes up. Im mature enough to know that yes, it sucks not having the privacy and going out ALL the time, but we still do. What do you think

Thanks!

[blio2000]

On a note to this: We are still together. After we talked she understood where I was coming from. I just don't want to worry about the breakup every time we argue or disagree from here on out.

[talaniman]

I doubt that the break up feeling will go away soon, as its only been 4 months. If its still there in 7/8 months then I would worry. Its hard when you live at home, and under restraint.

[cricky09]

My girlfriend of six years has just broken up with me!I am her 1st love,she has been with me since she was sixteen!Deep down we both knew this day would come,she would want to experience single life and basically see what else is out there!IM 28, and I've had many relationships,I can honestly say now that she's gone I realise that I've never loved anyone like I love her!I believe she was my soul mate,she did so much for me!I"ve lost count the amount of times that ive lifted the phone to ring her,and her number would come up flashing before i got the chance to dial!Or she would say to me after i rang her that she was just about to dial me! Well is just so happened that a week after we broke up,6 weeks now,she met someone else and do no what,that very night without her telling me,i got a sharp pain in my heart that someone else had caught her eye!I swear that till the day i die!These are reasons i believe we are soul mates!

The first 4 years of us was great,i did anything she wanted me too,i took her to Newyork christmas shopping,weekends away,tiffanys jewelry!You name it i did it for this girl,all because i knew she was the one for me!Anyhow cracks started to appear,i would stop texting,ringing or buying her gifts every time we were apart for a while!I think this was my downfall,i spoilt her and she expected this all through out our relationship! i moved to south wales to work back in june,now this took me outa the picture,it give her a chance to see what life would be like without me!So she got used to it as i was only home once a month!Any how as ive said before she finished it over the phone one night,but i managed to persuade her to come to cardiff for a weekend and meet in person,cos six years was along time to just walk away from!

So i booked her flights,and booked us into The Saint Davids Hotel and spa,highly recommended by the way but expensive!So on the friday night while she was still in sauna and swimming pool, i snook up to the room and decorated the room with rose petals,candles and champange!I wrote her a card with poetry,six verses for six years,i bought her womens perfume,oh and six roses for six wonderfull years!I also put are favourite song on for her entering the room!

Well she was taken back,she broke down but didnt want to try again cos she felt that after another year she would want to do the same thing!As hard as it was and still is i have to let her go!I Love her and always will but somtimes loving someone is also letting them go!Im not worried about her developing another relationship with the guy she just met,cos i no shes on the rebound and it"ll never work out! So I no what yourt going through,all I can say is let her go and if she truly loves you she'll come back!

[ln241]

Hi everyone. I know I'm almost a year late for this post, but I'm going through the same thing. My ex boyfriend also said he wanted to see what else is out there. It's been almost a year since the last post from bilo2000. Just wondering how bilo2000 is doing now.