[nicespringgirl]

J_9 disagrees: So what!! He was asking her to drink with him while mother is out of town. First of all, drinking at her age is illegal. He already has problems, may be best to get them all out in the open with Mom.

LOL, J_9 did u finish reading my post? I told her to tell her mum, but also make sure her mum is rational enough to deal with that jerk. He could be worse than u think.

[GlindaofOz]

I know as a teenager it can be hard to tell parents things let alone when it has to do with their spouse. As a teenager I always wrote my mom letters, it just made it easier for me to get it out without fear of her judgment or writing me off. Sometimes I would just write the letter then go talk to her, all it takes is getting your thoughts down.

Trust me she is going to want to know about this. Who knows what this guy is thinking, they are a lot of bad people out there in this world. It would be better for your mom to find out after 4 months of marriage instead of 4 years.

[alkalineangel]

Very true. This is the type of behavior we as parents are always warning children to be careful of. It may be hard for her to acknowledge the warning signs coming from her own spouse, but it happens every day.

[wizzkid89]

Well... I guess I was wrong. I really wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to your step dad, and I stand by what I said originally. However, seeing his reaction, something wrong is afoot. He is trying to guilt trip you into something very wrong, his entire set of actions have been questionable to say the least up until he got upset about not drinking with him, that reaction was not only a red flag but a pure admission of his creepiness. Telling your mom is going to be hard, but understand it isn't your job to keep them together. Your mom's first duty is to you, then herself. That's what it's important you tell her what her husband was up to. Remember though this is a very tricky situation, as it can be taken very wrong by your mother, I could see her becoming irrational, and thinking that you are just trying to get rid of him. Seeing as there is really no good road to follow, the absolute best thing you can do is tell your mom EVERYTHING. Don't try just bits and pieces, as that could turn for the worse. Tell her anything and everything he did, and hopefully with such a large load of evidence presented against him, your mom will have no choice but to confront him. I forgot what happened to your dad, or if you still talk to him, but if your mom and dad still communicate, possibly bring this up to your dad, and he will confront your mom as well. All this does is ensure that some steps are taken. Just remember to watch yourself from here on out, and if you need help don't be afraid to reach out to a friend.

[ScottGem]

I go along with most of the others. I would strongly suggest that you read the novel Lolita (but not where your stepdad can see). While its fiction, it can give you some insight into how predatory older men can be.

Everything you have told us screams trouble to me. Here we have an older man who is in the 4th month of a new marriage. He has professed that one of the reasons he married your mom was because of he was "impressed" with you. A man might marry to get a ready made family with young kids, but not a 16 year old. He is willing to sneak around behind his wife's back, breaking the law to give you a drinking experience. While I can see a parent allowing a minor to sample a drink in a setting where drinking is appropriate, to stage such a setting gives off dangerous vibes. Then we have the kicker, he gets angry and tries to blackmail you, when you don't fall into his trap.

Do you have a trusted adult you can talk to? A school guidance counselor, clergyman, teacher etc. I bet if you relate this story to them, even as a hypothetical, they will see the same danger signs we see.

If your step-dad is willing to leave your mom after 4 months of marriage, because you won't be pals with him, then that marriage is doomed anyway.

I sympathize with you, honey. You have been put in a position no 16 year old should be in. It really sucks. But you need to be strong.

Please discuss this with your mom or a counselor. And DO NOT let yourself be alone with your step-dad.

[Lowtax4eva]

This is just starting to seem like a fake post intended to cause drama.

In the situation your describing, whether it's real or not, it's now quite obvious he's pressuring you into drinking for his own reasons. Most likely to take advantage of you.

If your not willing to bring these facts to light to both your parents there is nothing else we can suggest.

[p_rich91]

OK thanks. I will try to explain it to my mom. Trust me, this is a real problem. I appreciate the help.