[Chey5782]

Good for you, self empowerment will help you stop worrying about her all the time and live your life. I hope it all works out in the end. However that may be. Good luck!

[0EntitY]

I knew a couple who had about the same experience, but this guy knew what to do about it. He made it totally all right for her to do this. He agreed with her idea 100%. It was not long after that they got married. So, I would agree with her when she contacts you again, a change of heart, see. It's funny how you should do the opposite of what you think you should do in life sometimes...

[dhosera]

UPDATE:

So its been 2 weeks since we broke up. She has texted me twice. The last time she did she asked why I talked to her friend and not her about things. Her friend called me and email me to see how I was doing. I told her this and she said that she just thought I would talk to her about things before I talked with one of her friends. She said she would call me sometime this week to talk about things.

I have talked to her family as we were extremely close and they are all being so supportive of me. They are all going on a family vacation for a week and they have told me that the subject of me and her will be brought up as it needs to be talked about. Her mother has told me that she thinks of me as a son and wants what's best for us. She did tell me however that what she thinks I must do is move on and not wait for her as she thinks its going to take a lot of time for her to grow up and realalize that she made a mistake. It was hard to hear but it helped as it brought some sort of closure to me.

She has still not taken any of our pictures off Facebook. She has still not come over and picked up any of her things from my house. I really still don't know what to think. I still love her with all my heart and think about her every minute of the day. But I have learned to deal with the fact I am without her. If we did get back together I think I would make some major changes. More time with friends and not so much time together is what I think killed us in the first place. We need to be able to be do things seperatly without each other getting pissed off. I have lost 20-25 lbs and look a lot better. Still have 15 more to get to where I want to be. I have been running everyday and like that I am being more active.

I have been going out with my friends every Night for the last two weeks. I have had so much fun. I have met a lot of new people and they all know that I want nothing to do with a relationship with a different girl right now. Im just not ready and don't know when I will be. I can't seem to get interested in any girl that I have met. Im not saying that I am not attracted to any but I just haven't seen anything that makes me say wow I want to know more about her. Its weird but I don't know.

So I guess I am doing better but I still love her and want her to come back. I miss her like crazy but also like the changes that I have made in this short amount of time. This weekend I am so looking forward to the plans that I have so I guess we will just have to wait and see what happenes. I will keep you updated. Thanks all for posting I look forward to reading your opinions and thoughts.

Thanks

[s_cianci]

The point of relationships and love is to grow and tackle problems TOGETHER, not apart. I fail to see why you should be expected to live your life in limbo as she goes out and does whatever she wants...just isn't fair in my opinion. I would make myself really scarce from her life, and I can guarantee you if I was in your shoes, she wouldn't be the only one living it up! Life is too short for this BS...live your life, if she comes back fine, but I wouldn't put things on hold. Do you have a freaking time frame?? Is she supposed to let you know when it is convenient for her to return?

Go out, have fun and damn the rest. Time to put the big boy pants on and live a little.

I have to wholeheartedly agree with this. The whole taking time for 'me' kind of thing is a big crock in my opinion. You see, love isn't about 'me.' You can only receive by giving. Therefore you can only be loved by someone if you love them in return. Sure, we all love ourselves, at least most of us do. And even those who maybe don't probably don't realize it. But if you're only going to love yourself, if you want to do things by and for yourself then you don't need to be in a relationship with another person. Anyone who, after 2 years, needs "time alone" in order to "make sure" is either a little crazy or a liar in my book. Either way, proceed with extreme caution and be prepared to accept the idea that maybe this isn't the right one for you.

[laxman526]

I've read every single post on this thread, and I have to say I am in a similar situation, albeit mine was long distance and not as long, but I am hurting just as much.

I agree with the fact that this is a very selfish move. As a guy, this sort of break up is so hard to deal with because there are so many questions left unanswered. Good to hear that you're moving on and trying to stay healthy. Either you want to be with someone, or you don't. That simple.

Best of luck and keep giving us updates.

[simoneaugie]

You shouldn't have to, wait. I'm going through the same thing. The thing is, i've come to realise. Do they actually love us with all their hearts? really, truly? Because if they did we wouldn't be feeling like this. I can't let go. I hold onto everyhting but what if they decide that they are better off without us? Love shouldn't come with all this pain. Yes, they are hurting but i feel what they are putting us through is worse.

If you love her with all your heart, then she isn't putting you through anything. Your feelings are your responsibility, not hers. What it comes down to is:
Is she worth waiting for? If you want to wait, really love her, then you don't need her as a crutch to feel good about yourself. You decide to wait and just roll with it.

If you want to make her responsible for your feelings, you aren't ready for a relationship that may lead to marriage. If you feel sad, or lonely, those feelings are generated by you (as much as we would like to blame it on someone else) and the way you are thinking about it. A relationship isn't about finding your other half, it's about two whole, self-sufficient adults enjoying their time together.

[Chey5782]

Good luck d! Distracting works for a while, just keep in mind the long run. You need to figure out an amicable way to ask her to come get her things. And she needs to deal with how she treated you as well. Hurt is hurt, but so is closure. I hope it all works out for you, whichever way that becomes. If you decide to move on though you need to make sure you take all the steps. Don't deal with everything because she blows it off. She needs to get her stuff. With or without you there.

[dhosera]

So its been 3 weeks since I have spoken to her and 4 weeks since our break\break up. She has been to my house twice to get little items like a shirt and some hair cutting things. She still has everything there! I have heard from her family and friends that she is going crazy with the whole going out thing. She posted some pictures of her hanging all over guys on the internet for all her friends and family to see. She has pretty much publicly made me look like a fool. I know that she did that on purpose because she knows that I would eventually see those. I am not retaliating because I just don't play those games. She wants to be single and play that game then that's what she is going to get. I have told myself that I am done and moving on. Someone who has no regard for the feelings of others and can do the things she is doing is not someone I want to be with. Someone that can do those things after 2 years of building a life together and throw it away so effortlessly is not who I thought she was. Tonight I am packing all of her **** up and it will sit in the corner. When she comes over next to get some things she will see that I want her out of my house and my life. I am going on Vacation here in a week and during that time I know she will most likley be over and that is when she will see her things packed.
I have been going out hang hanging out with friends and having a ball doing so. I have had opporitunities with other women I just can't seem to want to do anything with them. Like I don't even want their number because I just don't want anything to do with them right now. With time I'm sure that will pass.
I still cannot believe that she would do this. Thank you all for the posts. They are all great pieces of advice. I know that someday she will know that she made a mistake but I garuntee I will not be there to let myself be walked on like I am now. I will find someone that enjoys being with me as much as I love being with them

[lodidoddie]

OK I'm going to let a secret out of the bag here When women do this its called circular dating. So what I need you to do is 1 don't put you life on hold go out with your friends and have fun 2 sit her down and ask her why and this time listen if you have a hard time with it have her write it down. Women who love their men do this because their unhappy they don't want to leave them but they want them to change their ways