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slapshot_oi · Apr 8, 2009, 06:54 PM

Originally Posted by stillfading

THIS.... is what i will be coming back to when i have my weak moments. thank you so much!

sadly, i caved in to all her texts. she owes me over $500 for her school and other bills and I KNOW i need to cut my losses, but being a young student that money matters. I told her about bills so we'll see.

and i ended it with: "if you want any kind of relationship with me you need to show me"

No problem dude.

Ooo... the last quote hurts to read. She ate all that up, you gave her power to make the ultimate decision, she'll definitely try some manipulation tactics, don't let her. You need to take that power back through NC which I see you've begun. Stick to your guns.

And the reality of it all, like Dare81 said, you are better off without her. She's got a lot she needs to sort out on her own, and from her recent actions, it doesn't look like that'll be happening anytime soon.

stillfading · Apr 8, 2009, 10:31 PM

^^thank u

day 1 of NC is complete!

-multiple texts to me (meaningless)
-calls from her work number
-voicemail (I didn't and won't check.. deleted!)

did I ever mention she still hasn't broken it off with me and still denies the affair?

day 2!

workedtoohard · Apr 9, 2009, 11:59 AM

Let me give you advice from years of a bad relationship. You don't sacrifice your friends because when she complains she is testing you. When you gave up your friends, she LOST ALL RESPECT for you. Grow a spine. You need to learn to get angry with girls without losing your temper. When a girl plays games, you need to avoid them to show them their childsih games won't be tolerated (earning you respect). You also have to realize that girls can be really evil, selfish, and mean. I know its hard, but the relationship was over a long time ago, thus she found someone else WHILE YOU WERE TAKING CARE OF HER. She wouldn't sleep with you because she was sleeping with someone else. When a girl picks fights, she has lost respect for you. The key is back off and get angry but not lose your temper. I spent years with a girl who did the same thing. I am begging you to listen because this girl will ruin yourself esteem and make it hard for you to find a real girl. Seriously think about a restraining order. Do you want HIS LEFTOVERS?

workedtoohard · Apr 9, 2009, 12:02 PM

Keep it up brother. Non contact for life. You will find she will say stuff just to keep your hooked!! My ex, ten years later, is still trying to mess with me! There is a point of no return, and you have reached it. THINK ABOUT IT LIKE THIS. Her nice identical twin is out there! LOOK FOR HER. Be a man, don't tolerate stupid girl games! FIGHT ON BROTHER.

xxxfifoxxx · Apr 9, 2009, 12:14 PM

GET OUT
GET OUT
GET OUT

She sounds like a id get rid of her straight away she's so using you for when she feels lonely :( sorry mate

snow124 · Apr 14, 2009, 10:18 AM

You're right, there definitely are a lot of parallels between your situation and mine. You have my sympathy man, I know how tough it is.

I disagree with you on one point, though... that they just said these things to justify things they'll always regret. With mine, I'm not convinced she even regretted it on more than a superficial level. One more reason to be glad I'm not with her anymore, I suppose. Sure hope our exes decide to grow up, though, it can't be fun going through life not truly caring about any one person for very long.

stillfading · Apr 14, 2009, 02:30 PM

Little update. Guys I am on day 7 of NC!! I knew she was using me all along and now I just feel sad that she is going to probably always be this way. I want her to become a better person and be truly happy inside. The more people I talk to that knew her before me (that I knew mutually) say she was a cheat and would jump around once she got bored or too deep in a relationship (though not a slut.. who knows or cares). That she couldn't stay committed even though she always told me that's what she wanted.

But its getting harder! Easter was hard and every morning I wake up and think its another day without the woman I thought I would be with forever. GRRRRRR

She has tried to contact me every single day. Wished me happy easter. I have not budged. NC with her, her mom, and anybody who she may know. I want her so bad but I know it's because I'm only holding onto the good times that are now past.

She still won't admit to cheating, though she admitted to having a different past than what she told me. She also found out I have been talking to girls, mainly an ex I dated 3 years ago whom I never had or currently have NO feelings for! She texted me a bunch of hateful things today but I ignored it. Even put her name as "rosie o'donnell" in my phone lol.

Not looking for anyone else, she still hasn't broken up with me, but like I told her when she moved out 2 weeks ago "this feels like a break up, not a break for space" so in my mind we have been broken up for 2 weeks nad I think the silence speaks volumes.

none12345 · Apr 14, 2009, 03:26 PM

left you something on the other thread of mine you commented bro check it out =P

stillfading · Apr 23, 2009, 09:40 PM

Well since not many people come back for updates, I have hope for all those in my place.

She finally admitted to seeing this guy. I went 2 weeks of NC and finally got sick of all the BS and started replying to her texts.

MAN DO I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER! The hope is gone and while it freaking sucks but at least I know how low of a reason she is and can move on. Never thought I'd say, but breaking NC really helped me. BUT BUT BUT allowing enough time to pass with NC is what did it. It allowed her time for her emotions to run wild.

Now she is trying to get me to forgive her, blah blah blah. Way too much than just simply cheating.

So my friends, life gets better. Just stay busy and keep positive! And in your weak moments just remember everything they did to you to ruin what a wonderful relationship you did and how easily they were willing to throw it out the window! F that! Move on!

talaniman · Apr 23, 2009, 10:06 PM

Just curious, why are you still talking to her?

stillfading · Apr 27, 2009, 02:45 PM

I did 2 weeks of NC but she kept trying to get a hold of me. I finally gave in and got the truth out of her.

I feel so much better and while I miss her, having her tell me everything was very relieving.

I am no longer talking to her and even changed my number so stop her from doing so.

There is hope!