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    jrsg's Avatar
    jrsg Posts: 560, Reputation: 67
    Senior Member
     
    #21

    Sep 14, 2008, 10:47 AM
    Hmmm...
    I wouldn't say anything, because that could hurt your friendship with her, as well as her relationship with this other guy. You have to be careful about what you say, because you don't want to become the guy who just puts down whoever she is with.

    I was in a similar situation with my last girlfriend. I met her while she was dating another guy. She had been dating this guy for 4 months, so they were no where close to getting married, which makes my situation much different. Anyway, I didn't give any negative imput about him to her, and just listened. Before I knew it, she broke up with him, and began dating me.

    What I am trying to say, is that saying bad things about her fiancé isn't going to get you anywhere.

    However, as other members said, maybe just telling her how you feel could work.
    xFalkenx's Avatar
    xFalkenx Posts: 17, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #22

    Sep 15, 2008, 12:27 AM
    I hear you... ill just have to play the waiting game for my time to go 4 it. 1 thing is that I didn't think I handled right was that I didn't really trash talk about her fiancé, I just stated back to her what she said to me in my on words to convey what I got from her then stated what I thought those meant and her reaction was agreement but I am not too sure how she felt about that? (sorry if my grammar sucks this reads funny to me too... I mean there's no periods >.>)
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #23

    Sep 15, 2008, 05:07 AM
    Not all girls are healthy enough to know what they want, not all girls (if they are truthful) WANT a healthy relationship the way we think of as healthy.

    I truly don't understand them, but there it is. I have a pretty good idea of the benefits of being with someone who actually cherishes you... but some girls simply don't.

    Further, not everyone can be taught. This forum alone is proof of that. People actually come here, ask for advice on a problem, then completely freak when the advice resembles something like "stop whining, take responsibility for the way your life is turning out and make better choices."

    "You mean I have to leave the cheater/abuser/deadbeat/addict? But I love him!?"
    O... K...

    I'm sorry, but your friend, whom you also "like", may never... and I mean NEVER... walk away from this bad relationship. I appreciate your care and concern. That's a sign of good character on your part.

    But don't put anything else in your life on hold while you watch her debacle from the sidelines, OK? You may be wasting a LOT of time on her. You still need to live.
    Dragonfly1234's Avatar
    Dragonfly1234 Posts: 161, Reputation: 49
    Junior Member
     
    #24

    Sep 15, 2008, 09:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xFalkenx
    >< wow this hurts i am pretty sure everyone knows now and i learned this after they invited me over to hang out everyone excluded me and made me feel unwanted. they were very blunt. I guess i am pretty sure i just lost all my close friends and this might break me. They gave me this look like how could you and i just couldn't take it and left
    I don't understand how others found out. Why would you loose all your close friends? If they know, does she know how you feel about her as well now?

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