[bradysmama17]

Well then you really need to let him know how you feel.

[Lacrimosa]

This is what I am looking forward to. I am very sad these days and he sees it and asks me why I look like this... But I don't want to open this big topic in a day he cares about his job issues. I need to find right timing... Sure before weekend... I can't stand till then.
Thank you all of you.

[talaniman]

I disagree, the best time, is when he asks you what's wrong..

[bunnybear]

I think he has a big problem,he should find you attractive and you don't sound overweight and even if you were he should love what you look like no matter what.
I find it disturbing that he is masterbating in the room next door to where you sleep,why can't he wake you up and make love to you,espeacially if you've told him you like that.
Who is he to tell you to loose weight when he is not perfect himself?
My partner told me I had a saggy arse!so I told him he needed to do something about his man boobs.
It makes things hard when you love someone,but if this is breaking your confidence and he is hurting you then he should be able to make a compromise with you,maybe like only watching it a couple times a week.
I understand men like porn,but when it is hurting there loved one it is a problem.
You need to stress to him how hurt it makes you.
Good luck

[smoothy]

There is something wrong... I've been married 17 years and it hasn't tapered off yet...

There are three separate issues at play here...

#1 - low self esteme

#2 - his reduced libido

#3 - this blame it all on porn thing.

While it is possible they can be interrelated I don't think that's the case. While I preffer a skinny woman there is absolutely NO reason a larger woman can't drive a guy crazy... Trust me I have dated a couple larger women before I was married. Feel good about yourself and do what you can to improve your weight and thus health... But do it first for yourself.

I think the real problem is #4 - something he hasn't discussed.

[bunnybear]

I think he just needs to stop masterbating so often... its selfish of him when he has the real thing in bed.
I myself lack in confidence,but you don't have to have the perfect arse to give you confidence.
He sounds mean and selfish,specially to criticize how you look.
Watching too much porn gives some men a false perception on what woman should look like,they have there makeup and hair done,hair extensions,tanning,fake boobs,even butt implants sometimes,those girls put all there time into looking that way and have people to help them look good.
I'm sure if us everyday woman had all that we would look fantastic and if not better.
Remember that you are beautiful just as you are,and keeping fit makes you feel good.
I'm sure there would be other men that find you attractive just as you are,and willing to have sex with you more often.

[talaniman]

His porn watching, is not your problem, its his.

Knocking your weight, or appearance is cruel, but its his problem, not yours.

Letting it affect yourself esteem, or confidence is YOUR problem, not his.

Deal with your issues and let him deal with his, with or without help from a third impartial party.

[FLORENCE1085]

I sometimes watch porn when my guy is sleeping and I do it because I feel bad waking him up. He has to get up early and I do not so if I stay up late its okay. When I get myself off it is good, but nothing compared to what it is with him. Self sex is only so fun, but sex with my guy is wonderful. Do not feel bad. You must be beautiful to him if you are with him. We all have our own weight... its only a number. If you want him to wake you up give him a reason... wear something super sexy to bed just to tease him!

[Choux]

La,

I was rereading this thread and I noticed something that I missed, something very important.

You said you were orgasmic. Not many men would turn down an orgasmic woman in their bed for a session of masturbation.

I think he has something going on in his head that is making him treat you in a shabby manner. He must need "space" from you, and he may be anxious. That is all I can guess. He may not be comfortable with a 24/7 relationship at this time.

[FLORENCE1085]

If your sex life with him is not what you want then you need to talk to him and let him know that you have needs and he is not giving you what you need. No matter what you wear or do he should want to have sex with you. If he just wants to jack off than let him know that you are closed for sex. Tell him no and get yourself some toys and have fun alone. Turn the tables on him and see how he feels.

[bunnybear]

if your sex life with him is not what you want then you need to talk to him and let him know that you have needs and he is not giving you what you need. No matter what you wear or do he should want to have sex with you. If he just wants to jack off than let him know that you are closed for sex. Tell him no and get yourself some toys and have fun alone. Turn the tables on him and see how he feels.

That's a great idea,lol.
I should try that one.

[maggie0505]

I go through the same problem. I have tried to make it to where we both watch it together, or watch it while having sex, or I told him to wake me up like you did and I have come to realize its something he is not going to change because it something he enjoys and if you're the one taking it away from him, then your going to be the one to blame. Also when they watch porn most of the time it's that they can imagine themselves with that person which is better than going out and cheating with someone real. Don't let it put you down, its not you. I have tried everything, hiding the laptop, changing passwords, giving him his own account and putting parental controls on it, and nothing has changed. I have learned to accept it and not complain about it because when I do it causes fights and since then I haven't had so may fights with him and our sex life has actually become better.