[ordinaryguy]

It does happen occasionally that a question is posted, people answer in different ways, and the discussion takes on a life of its own, without the OP as a participant. More often, one or two answers are posted, the OP never responds and the thread dies. In either case the OP is gone, and we never know whether they got an answer that they felt was helpful.

I guess I don't see the harm in discussions that go on without them. I see them as kind of like snowflakes that start on a speck of dust and grow from there. Of course, if the discussion veers off into territory that is completely unrelated to the question title, I suppose it makes sense to start a new thread with a more informative label.

[excon]

Should a couple living together (not married) pay 50/50 of the bills and other expenses if one of the people makes a substantially larger income than the other?

Hello Alt:

It's not as simple as that.

It's like asking on the real estate board whether you should enter into a lease or should you just rent month to month. Huh? Who could answer a question like that? It has no context. Different contextual circumstances demands different answers. As asked, it can't be answered.

For example, in your scenerio, their intentions as a couple and as individuals need to be examined over the long term. Their familial intentions need to be looked at over the long term. Their health and ages needs to be considered, as well as their net worth, and their long term financial plan (if any).

I suggest that without any context such as the above, the answers are useless.

Now, I do agree that lots of people make those decisions without any such context, too. Most times, they'll suffer the consequences.

So, I can't give you an answer that makes sense.

excon

[N0help4u]

For those who didn't see the original ?

I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries I have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out because he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what I can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?

The disagreement is that we here so far say he is wanting more than the original agreement and not taking her needs and wants into consideration. I say he is treating her like a business arrangement.

The others seem to think she is expecting more than her share and should stick to the agreement.

But she seems to be giving over the agreement and they do not see that.

[bizygurl]

For those who didn't see the original ?

I moved in with my boyfriend about 7 months ago. He owns the house we live in and I agreed to help out with the bills when I moved in. He originally wanted me to pay for half of every bill but I just cannot afford this. I make 30,000 a year and he makes 95,000! I am currently paying over 1/3 of what the bills are but I also have students loans/car payment/insurance/credit cards etc. By the time I am done paying bills for the month and buying some groceries i have about $50 left to my name. I tell him I just cannot afford to keep paying him this much and he always has his hand out for money. He also hates going out bc he does not want to pay for anything but when he does pay for something for me, he likes to constantly remind me that he paid for that time we went out. Also, for Christmas he will only spend as much on me as what i can afford to buy for him. He claims he never has any money but whenever he wants something he buys it and is currently looking at buy a $55,000 car while I am struggling to get by. Am I greedy or is he really just cheap?

The disagreement is that we here so far say he is wanting more than the original agreement and not taking her needs and wants into consideration. I say he is treating her like a business arrangement.

The others seem to think she is expecting more than her share and should stick to the agreement.

But she seems to be giving over the agreement and they do not see that.

GUYS, omg... LOL! WE are all seeing things differently.. its fine. We have all said either he's being unfair or she's being greedy.. its not going to change eachothers minds. Whether you say it ounce or twentytimes.. What happened to the friendship bracelets and the "kumbyah"... or agree to disagree? Sorry I may have been called a peacemaker in the past.;)

[N0help4u]

Yeah like I just said on the post because they are still going on about it...
Until she comes back and answers what she means by him always having his hand out '
And explains how much she spends over the amount agreed on we are all taking stabs in the dark but I still have a feeling she is putting more into him than 1/3 or 1/2.
I do not think it is a case of her being a gold digger latte laper like some others have said.

[bizygurl]

your absolutely right. The MAIN componet is that this girl has yet to return and voice on where this discussion has gone or the advice presented. For all we know she's reading these posts and laughing at us.(lol) :) And we are all taking a stab in the dark without more information. But honestly... I feel this was a really good debate and thought provoking. Really makes you think about what you value in a relationship.. whats fair and not fair. So kudos to everyone on here for giving this thread a mind of its own... in a good way;)

[Alty]

Personally I think this discussion is definitely going better than the last one, at least knowone is name calling (yet:p )

Everyone who has posted here has made very valid points. I think that we have to forget about the original OP because, like I said before, she obviously doesn't care about our opinions otherwise she would have contributed to the conversation and provided us with more info on which to base our opinions.

I am still holding on to my opinion (with every ounce of energy I have left:) ) I also value all of yours. I think the main problem with a question like this is that we all base our opinions on our own experiences which are all very different. If we can keep this in mind while reading others opinions we should all do fine.

[N0help4u]

I think all of us are in agreement and looking at it the same way.
Just different approaches.