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fanko · Jun 19, 2009, 06:18 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

How long is this distance stuff supposed to last?

A month more... :(

talaniman · Jun 19, 2009, 07:04 AM

Its hard to be strong when you don't know for how long. Its like diving in a pool of water, you can hold your breath for so long, and then you must surface, and seek air. Not trying to discourage you, but reality is a real biatch without a realistic, solid plan, with a goal. Just food for thought.

fanko · Jul 4, 2009, 01:11 PM

After that night I started dance class and gym to get bzzy so not to think about her,she is was in contact with me, but same prob again she is at home and bzzy with parents and grandparents,not even time too talk... now if I react like kids and say that we don't talk and all those thing then she will say that you shuld understand that I'm bzzy and its not possible to call u,in this tell me what shuld I do? I'm texting her in morning and in evening good morning and good night, from her side she sends 1 sms and that to like 12 hrs aftr, she might be bzzy but from my side I'm texting her, its not that she want to break up with me its that she is bzzy, and its making me restless... help me as I told you for this I joined gym and dance class wch is helping me sumwht but in the end of day its like she is that much bzzy,, :(

mum2five · Jul 4, 2009, 01:45 PM

I do not see how you can call this a relationship.
You do not see each other regually nor make should I say she makes the effort to bother with as much contact as she can.
No matter how busy she is surely she would find a way to reply to a text message.
I think she may have lost interest in this relationship which is why she is acting so cold towards you.
Instead of her just being honest with you for some reason she feels she can not be , is she afraid of hurting you?
She is being very demanding but maybe there is a lot of resentment and frustration in you two being apart. Not everyone is cut out for a long distance relationship.
If you feel you can not appraoch getting to the bottom of why things have turned so sour why not write her a letter explaining all you have here and demand some answers.
Maybe it is time you were both honest.
What type of relationship is one without honesty?

talaniman · Jul 4, 2009, 01:54 PM

Stop being so available, by slowing way down with the texting. Leave a few days without texting, or calling her, and see how she reacts.

And don't get all sappy or needy, because your as busy, and unavailable, as she is.

Honestly, I would have been gone. For sure if you accept this kind of treatment, you will get more of the same.

fanko · Jul 4, 2009, 02:17 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Stop being so available, by slowing way down with the texting. Leave a few days without texting, or calling her, and see how she reacts.

I guess yes...
From tomorrow I won't mesg her, and won't contact her.

mum2five · Jul 4, 2009, 02:25 PM

Give the texts a miss for while and wait and see if she bothers to contact you - if she asks why you have suddenly stopped replying tell her since she never replies then you guessed she was fed up of you.
Time will tell you the answers.

fanko · Jul 5, 2009, 07:03 PM

Guys I didn't send any sms or missed call , but I'm really getting restless... :(
Help me how to throw this kind of feeling...

talaniman · Jul 6, 2009, 08:52 AM

By doing something besides hoping she contacts you. Anything you enjoy will do.

fanko · Aug 8, 2009, 10:25 PM

Hi...
We finally talk after a month and she wanted a break... she said she is lost, she wants to search herself...
So we mutually broke.. :(
Before getting into relation we were good friends.. and now break up she asked me to be her friend, she doesn't want lose a good friend she said. Its really hard when I'm alone, or not doing anything I just burst into tears... she said that if she is still lost she will come back.. :(
Tell me guys, that is it really possible that after break she will return, or she will not?
Should I be in her contact? when I'm with her I can accept the fact that we are not together any more but afterwords I'm so low every time.
I think if I stop being in her contact then she will be in the habit of not seeing me, so how she will come back? Tell me what should I do??

amicon · Aug 8, 2009, 10:36 PM

For your own sake step back and don't stay in touch with her.you need time to find out who you are and what you want and need.

talaniman · Aug 9, 2009, 07:57 AM

Amicon is right, leave her alone, and start doing your own thing. That's what everyone has been saying to you all along.

We know its not easy, but its what needs to be done by you. We all have been thru the exact same thing you're going thru now, and know full well its one of the hardest thing you will ever do!

Haven't you read the stickies at the beginning of this forum yet?

fanko · Aug 11, 2009, 03:02 AM

Yeah I have been reading it... but you know how hard it is...
Well now I have learnt I'm now giving her own time without getting in touch with her... lets see what happns now...

amicon · Aug 11, 2009, 03:20 AM

That's the ticket.concentrate on your life-for you.

amicon · Aug 13, 2009, 03:54 AM

You re welcome. :-)

fanko · Oct 12, 2009, 10:59 AM

Hi guys it has been 1 month and 10 days for NC, after we broke up mutually,
But I can't help, there is not a single day I don't think about her, and feel pain that she is not there now :(
I really love her.
But I don't want to disturb her now by contacting her, may be she is happy like this ,
Wanted to ask, should I call her? And say hi hello? Is that good?
But at the same time I think I should not do the same mistake again let her call me when she feels .
Its tuff when you know that all the time you were loving the person with that feeling in you and that person was just pushing to maintain the relation, I feel like she never loved me..,.
Aahhh that's all I'm holding myself by concentrating on my career now as she is doing :)

amicon · Oct 12, 2009, 11:13 AM

Your thoughts are normal but keep up the NC-ANY contact will only set you back.
Concentrate on your career your hobbies-see your friends-do the things that make you feel good about yourself and your life.
You ll heal completely and move beyond this it just takes time as it can't be pushed.

fanko · Oct 12, 2009, 11:22 AM

Thanks amicon..
Thanks for the support... one thing more I want to ask I think staying in contact with her friends will make me more weak, today only I called one of her Friends because I was so desperate about her doing well in exams and all I know its wrong, what I'm doing, just want to know that staying in contact with her friends will make things more complicat...
So I should stop contacting them from now on ?
Want to know this also that on new years should wish her and on her birthday?

amicon · Oct 12, 2009, 11:40 AM

Stay away from the friends and don't send any greetings on birthdays etc
Act as if she doesn't exist.
Its tough but it works.

fanko · Oct 12, 2009, 11:52 AM

Originally Posted by amicon

Stay away from the friends and dont send any greetings on birthdays etc
Act as if she doesnt exist.
Its tough but it works.

Will do this...
Thnxz :)