[Unsuresel]

I have been in a relationship with a great guy for a year now but we recently broke up and I feel terrible. I want to love him and I know that he is perfect for me, and at times I feel as though I made a big mistake and I will never find anybody like him, but there is always this little niggling thing inside me holding me back. I seem to feel numb towards him. Many people I have spoken to think it may be because a month ago, he distanced himself from me to 'find out his own feelings', at that point I was fighting for him so hard and it seems to have paid off. Is this feeling a delayed reaction to what happened a month ago, is it something more? We have shared so much together and I really don't want to loose him as a friend. I'm on the fence, when will my feelings return? This is a long distance relationship and we spend most of our time on the phone I don't get to see him often, and lately I am not really missing him, but still would like to see him. Weird huh! Everyone I speak to family and friends say that we are so right for each other, I have met his family and he has met mine. I don't want to settle and don't want to wake up in 10 years time saying to myself 'ii knew this was wrong' What can I do? Currently he has given me time to think about my feelings and come back to him once I'm sure.

Please help

[talaniman]

You sound like your more in love, with the idea of being with him, than really having feelings for him. After all that getting him back, and your still not sure, then don't try convincing yourself now. Sorry, but best to leave it as it is, and get over it, as it will take time, but you'll be better off in the long run.

[life1973happened]

Throughout my life I've come to realize that there will be people you want to love because they fit all of the criteria for what you want in somebody. Your entire self loves them except your heart. Then there are others whom your entire heart loves but they don't seem to feel the same.

Its tough because I agree with the previous post. I think you see somebody who should be a good fit but when you have to convince yourself he is, that should be a sign. You should be proud of yourself for listening to that voice and thinking this through like you are doing now. You do sound like your are in love with the idea of being in love rather than the man.

I have met some wonderful men and a couple of those men loved me, without any doubts, very good men. However, as wonderful as they were I couldn't get my heart to feel the same, and oh how I tried. But I couldn't make my heart get on the same page as my head.

Continue to think this through as you are doing because I think its great that you are paying attention to your gut. Most people don't and instead do what's most logical or fitting at the time. Unfortunately, those relationship usually end with a break and a couple of broken hearts. Save yourself and this young man a possible future of pain and stop trying to convince yourself that you love him. I think if you did you wouldn't be on the fence. There will be other perfect men that are perfect fits for you, both for the head and the heart.