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8259 · Feb 28, 2008, 05:14 PM

I an in love with my married co-worker and I know he has feelings for me. I don't need any lectures cause I know it's wrong the problem is,it hurts too much going into work and seeing him, and wanting to be with him.I wish I did'nt love him,but I do,and I can't quit my job,because it pays well.I just don't know how to deal with this situation.help!

Fr_Chuck · Feb 28, 2008, 06:07 PM

Get professoinal counseling to help get over these feelings,
And in the end you need to start getting those resumes out and looking for a job,

JL FANATIC · Feb 28, 2008, 06:13 PM

Fatal attraction, have you seen it? The HUSBAND always goes back to the WIFE. If the wife finds out guess what she will forgive him and you will be the one with a burned up heart. Don't hurt yourself. Leave married people alone. I will tell you this, I bet there is someone else that is single who dreams about you everyday and wants to be with you. Life is a and what goes around comes around. Good Luck.

CaribMan · Feb 28, 2008, 06:58 PM

Yea you got to leave him alone

kochi · Feb 28, 2008, 07:08 PM

Yep, be considerate of her and feel better that you are being honorable. Besides, you don't want to have a relationhsip begin that way.

jolienoire · Feb 28, 2008, 07:18 PM

Originally Posted by 8259

i an in love with my married co-worker and i know he has feelings for me. i don't need any lectures cause i know it's wrong the problem is,it hurts too much going into work and seeing him, and wanting to be with him.i wish i did'nt love him,but i do,and i can't quit my job,because it pays well.i just don't know how to deal with this situation.help!

I won't lecture but understand that it is better you leave him alone for your own sanity... Because the reality is that if he cheat with you he will cheat on you... I don't know the details of your relationship or how far it has gone. But I want to say it is not worth losing everything you work so hard to establish,. such as your job... realize that this relationship was based on lies, because the reality is that he is married... and maybe one day you will be married to a man, and it wouldn't be right if you were on the other side of the fence... it will be hard, but not impossible everyday you tell yourself, I will not be with somoene where I have to ignore an issue for I am settling. I deserve someone who love's me and only me, who will come home to me, and build something beautiful... You have to let go... Because in the end if you ever married a man who cheated on his wife, you will just be married to a man who cheats on his wife... please let go... for your own peace, you can do it... because you deserve someone who is available to you and reciprocate the love in return..

pasiria · Feb 28, 2008, 07:19 PM

My best friend is going through the same thing. You asked not to be lectured. Sometimes, your feelings are uncontrollable. This is what you can do. Every time you look at him at work, try hard to picture him getting home and telling his wife "honey, I'm home". If he has kids, imagine him with his kids in the playground. Imagine him making love to his wife and saying to her "I love you". This should help you. My friend fights hard to get over it. What helps her is to look at his ring, every time she gets the urge to touch him. She has touched his face and always flirts with him. It got to the point that he put a stop to it.

talaniman · Mar 1, 2008, 01:36 PM

Stay professional at work and keep your boundaries as he is off limits. We can't help who we love sometimes, but we can control what we do about it. Do nothing to lead him on or cross those lines, as there will be consequences to pay. It would help to read of all the misery, and pain others, just like you, have had when they crossed the line. Just put "dating a married man" into the search box at the top of the page, and read the horror stories for yourself. That could be you, and no, this is not a lecture, just fact.

peggyhill · Mar 1, 2008, 01:56 PM

Sorry you're hurting right now! I think that professional counseling is a good idea. It can really help when you're trying to get over your feelings for someone. Also, just try to spend as little time as possible around him at work and stay as busy as you can. Go out for lunch if you can, so you can get out of the workplace and away from him a little bit. Keep reminding yourself that he is off limits and that there is someone out there for you, it just isn't this guy. Remember that relationships that start as affairs don't have as good a chance of lasting anyway. There would be too much pain for everyone if you guys got involved.