[linds03]

So here's my story: I'm a 23 year old who just broke up with my boyfriend of nearly 5 years. I cannot begin to express the pain I'm feeling. The reason was because I decided to move 4 hours away to go to college, and he didn't want to go with me. I was so upset and just resented him for months until I couldn't take it anymore and broke it off. I still don't understand how you can date someone for this long, someone your madly in love with, and not say "yes, of course I'll move with you." I wanted him to JUMP with me! Take a leap of faith... I'm only trying to better myself so our future is that much greater. During our relationship, we lived together for 14 months. It was great... probably the best time during our relationship. Well, it's been a little over a month now and I'm losing my mind. I cannot eat, sleep, study, smile, laugh... my life has essentially come to a screeching halt. I miss him so much it hurts. We shared our dreams and our futures... wanted to get married and have babies. So hard to watch those dreams walk away. I just really need some advice. I need to know how people get through this? I just got off the phone with him. That was the second time since we broke up. It was definitely better than the first conversation, but there's a lot of pain there. He's really upset that I left him, and I understand that. But, I also feel that I had no choice. I would have moved for him in a heart beat. My mind tells me to move on, and my heart tells me to try and resolve this. We ended the conversation by saying "i love you". Obviously we wish that we could have made it... someone please help me. I'm about as desperate as a girl can get. Thanks so much. I would really appreciate hearing what you think. Am I wrong? Did I let the love of my life go? Lindsey

[N0help4u]

Sounds to me like if you can't study what is the point of being there?
Can you take time of and try to see what direction your life would go if you choose him instead of school and maybe find a school closer to home?
Then if you end up breaking up with him after all go back to that school. Often people will go to a community college and then move on to another school after that.
Think of alternative options that could work.

[needofhelp]

Distance is a challenge for a relationship, but it shouldn't be the reason to break up. It seems like you both care about each other and the feelings are still there. I ask myself why are you putting yourselves through that, if you both care.
Did you find out what his reasons are for not moving with you? Love is about compromise.
Lindsey, if you two truly love each other, see if you can work it out. It sounds like you both want the same thing. Good luck.

[statictable]

Very good posting. Well written and specific. No ultimatums, no decisions on an empty stomach and remember you do have options. Take it easy and slowly work on communications. Two bright people should be able to understand the problem/s and work together for each other's benefit. It's best not to cut short our own goals to satisfy laziness. Best wishes.

[kochi]

Reason without passion is dead.
And passion without reason is blind. Or some crap like that.

Have you told him all this? Sounds like you should and see what happens :)