[Braden23]

I'll try to be as direct and succint as possible. My ex and I made contact about three weeks ago and I wondered why she was being so nice to me all of a sudden. I talked to her three days in a row but stopped because a) I figured out, due to some good advice, that she was either using me as a "bridge" to her next guy or simply because she was lonely and that no matter the reason talking to her was a bad idea; and b) the last time I spoke with her she said that she wanted to hang out, and that we could hang out as friends but not all the time because "we both have lives and know we're not getting back together"; it pissed me off that she said this because she is trying to call the shots, she seems to think she's hot stuff, and I never said anything about getting back together. I talked to my mom and told her what my ex said and she said that she might have been throwing getting back together out there to see how I would respond. So my first question is, what do you think about that? Now, I didn't talk to my ex for about a week and a half; I ignored her calls, etc. She stopped calling. Then I got two messages from her, out of nowhere, which said, "I'm sorry", and, "I do miss you". Now my question is, "Do you think she misses me and wishes she would have treated me better and that she lost a good thing? And if not, what do you think it means." Before I end, let me say that I don't want pithy advice ("you need to stop thinking about it", "it doesn't matter", etc. etc.; I know all of this and have tried to forget it, and it obviously hasn't worked yet). I'll also take other comments/observations/insights. Thanks.

[victoria_mitchell]

Well first you shouldn't be mad at her for calling the shots because you're still talking to her against good advice, and you're obviously leaving the door open for these ideas and suggestions. Secondly about the messages... She feels guilty so she wants to make herself feel better by apologising to you and saying sorry and she misses you. It has nothing to do with ACTUALLY caring for YOU she's caring for HERSELF.

[Braden23]

You misunderstood me. I said that I had not contacted her, and I never said I was angry at her.

[victoria_mitchell]

" it pissed me off that she said this because she is trying to call the shots,"

That's not being angry??

And I didn't say you contacted her I said you talked to her once again...

"I talked to her three days in a row"

That's not talking to her?

[diya]

These are called mind games... as simple as that. Sometimes ex's do miss but in cases like these where ex's just put forward their views about hanging out and not willing to know what the other person wants is sheer wanting things their way. I suggest instead of thinking what ex is wanting, u talk it out with her and take it from there.

[Braden23]

Victoria,
Evidently I misread what you said, so please accept my apology. I overlooked part of your response (angry about calling the shots); I thought you meant angry in general. And also, what I meant was that I haven't talked to her since. I did speak with her a few times, but realized I should break off contact. Anyway, thanks for your advice. And I like your quote. Abraham Lincoln was a wise man.