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SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 09:23 AM

Hi, it me... again... Well my boyfriend and I are doing better. The conflicts with parents are settling down... but there is this one thing.

My boyfriend says that he was going to college. Well a couple of nights ago he told me that he realized that he can't go because he has no transportation what so ever. He has his permit I think but doesn't have his license. He has been looking for a job for a LONG time but no dice. He had one that paid decent money but the hours were too long he said... (I just wanted to slap him so hard to knock some sense into him) Once he gets a job he will be able save up money, get a car, then go to college.

He also said I should go for my license and a job since I'm almost 18. Well I have been looking into some jobs. And I feel like I'm not ready to drive yet, I also have seizures but they been stablized for almost a year now. I still don't feel safe.

My parents say I should leave him because he is just going to drag me behind with him in success in life. Well he doesn't he actually doesn't talk to me till I get ALL my homework done, after I help my mom with something do my chores. He also supports me in my bowling. I feel like he isn't dragging me.

What I am asking is SHOULD I STAY OR SHOULD I GO, OR MAYBE TAKE A SMALL BREAK?
I know I've gotten advice earlier but now I want to do step by step. Not solve everything at once so it isn't overwhelming

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 09:41 AM

Why can't he go to college without a car? I did, and was 28 & had one child before I learned to drive.

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 09:47 AM

Because he can't carpool with anyone I guess.
We both know how to drive, I just too cautious my dad says.

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 09:51 AM

Does he have any idea of where he would go to college? The community college near him or a state school?

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 09:55 AM

And the same for you -- community college (need a car) or state university (don't need a car).

You don't have to break up while either of you or both of you are in college.

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 10:02 AM

He is wanting to go to IVY Tech in Fort Wayne... I told him if you went to IPFW we have a small building where we live >edited out town name<. I for english but at least he would have something to back him up when looking for a job...

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 10:18 AM

Has your boyfriend filled out an FAFSA to find out what grants he can get or checked with the school(s) about financial aid?

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 10:27 AM

I don't know, but I can ask him tonight

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 10:36 AM

As to your question, you go to college. That doesn't mean you are breaking up with him or even taking a break. You are simply going to college and will stay in touch with him using all those nifty electronic devices you guys have available (In my day it was only snail mail and expansive long-distance telephone). You will go home now and then for holidays and summer and school breaks, and then you will see each other in person. So how does he hold you back? That makes no sense.

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 10:45 AM

I don't know how he is holding me back, mom says he also isolates me from my family... I don't even see him once a month. So I don't how he can do that... I think she just making excuses. :- /

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 10:46 AM

Have you ever asked her for examples of how he is isolating you?

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 10:57 AM

No. 'cause when we talk about him we usually end up arguing

Wondergirl · Dec 19, 2012, 10:59 AM

Ask her to write down a list of the things he does to isolate you from the family plus other objections she has to him, then give you this list.

SweetPea95 · Dec 19, 2012, 11:12 AM

Okay :) I know one reason and I don't disagree with it..

Alty · Jan 9, 2013, 06:16 PM

Originally Posted by SweetPea95

Because he can't carpool with anyone i guess.
We both know how to drive, I just too cautious my dad says.

You have no busing where you live?