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New Member
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Nov 18, 2012, 02:39 PM
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Relationship Problem
My relationship with an Aquarian man is quite strange and becoming stressful.
We are both in our early 50's and both been divorced for a while to our partners and have our individual own rented flats.
We have been seeing each other now for 3mths. When we 1st met the feelings were electric and sparks were flying. However 3wks later he wanted a casual relationship and wanted to take things slowly but still wanted us to see each other. He admitted he had dived and I had been too forthcoming with my feelings which did frighten him so I slowed down too.
He has text me every day but only seeing me once a week and to be honest
From one week to the next meeting he never asks to see me through the week,
We have been out to a couple of 50th Birthday parties on 2 weekends and he loves my friends as they like him too and all of my friends have told him about me and the fact that I deserve someone special which I think he is.
We sat and had a talk after the last night out and he said that he didn't want to loose me and we were good together but he also said he won't tell me he loves me until it is in his heart to tell me. He has been hurt and so have as our partners both had affairs. He absolutely loved the fact that I felt we were soulmates.
Last Friday I had a pair of glasses to drop off for him and so I called he knew I was going to see him. He was quite cool and as the night went on we talked about our families and what was on TV etc. When I said was he looking forward to coming out with me and my friends (couples) at Xmas he said "No he wasn't" he was starting a new job after having been out of work for 18mths and would be working all the time. So I said "was I going to see him at sometime over Xmas" and he said "he didn't know". This really upset me but I didn't say anything and let it go over my head. As the night went on he got up stayed in his kitchen for a while making his tea and eating it in the kitchen too! Then he started to do his washing in the washer and I was left sitting on my own for what seemed like ages? I said I might as well go home so started to put my coat on and went out into the hallway shutting the door behind me. All of a sudden he came out of the door (to see where I was I think) and said where are you going? So I said home as he had more or less ignored me barr the odd kiss ot two.
I did say to him that I didn't know where I was with him as he was hot one minute and cold the next and he can be quite moody and flippent with me, but he dosen't think he is?
He just keeps telling me to shut up and stop nagging him which I am not!
I said to him that he was being nasty and he went on the defensive.
He followed me out to my car and carried my bags as he said he had to put something in his car. I got in mine and shut the door. As soon as I did he came around opened the door and said, "I want a kiss?"
He said text me when you get home but I didn't as I was quite upset.
The next day Sat I left it and he text me at 4p.m. to see how I was and what I was up to, so I said been doing housework, shopping and was at my mam's.
Not heard from him at all since my text and he never lets a day go by without getting in touch. I know he likes me but I think he is maybe not getting in touch because he thinks I am going to say I don't want to see him anymore?
He thought the same thing a week ago when I ended my text by saying "take care" at the end.
Aquarius men have a tendency to want their own way and call all the shots and like their freedom which I have gave him. When I don't text him I leave it and he will text me and get in touch but this time he hasn't?
Should I leave him to come round and just get on with my day to day life or should I go over to see him and see what is wrong with him?
Avadot
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New Member
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Nov 18, 2012, 07:32 PM
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I am an Aquarian myself and it is very true we like our space but also enjoy a good cuddle here and there. I know if someone throughs themselves at me or seems over needy I am gone quicker than I came. Kind of weirds me out. By the sounds of it he is not interested in anyway. Probably would enjoy a good friendship though as long as you can leave it at that. Good luck :-)
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Nov 18, 2012, 08:55 PM
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Go your way, if he wants to contact you, he will. Doesn't sound like he is too interested.
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 04:51 AM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
I am an Aquarian myself and it is very true we like our space but also enjoy a good cuddle here and there. I know if someone throughs themselves at me or seems over needy I am gone quicker than I came. Kinda weirds me out. By the sounds of it he is not interested in anyway. Probably would enjoy a good friendship though as long as you can leave it at that. Good luck :-)
Are you saying that I have thrown myself at him?
I haven't I have kept my distance he was the one who asked if I wanted to go from a casual relationship into a relationship. He blows hot and cold and calls the shots when he is ready to see me. He wanted a friendship at first and said he didn't want to loose me. He has not worked for 18mths and I have helped him out with food etc as I have been working.
He has always contacted me everyday by text and always nice texts like, "hi babes how are you today". So really don't know what's wrong with him and it is really upsetting me that I haven't heard from him for 2 days?
I cannot just let it lie like that and need to know what is up with him. Do you think he could be ill or is he waiting for me to contact him to let him know things are OK?
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 04:56 AM
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 Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
Go your way, if he wants to contact you, he will. Doesn't sound like he is too interested.
He has been interested for 3mths and has always kept in touch everyday with me. He hasn't worked for 18mths but starting a new job in 4 weeks. Having no money has got him really depressed and I have been helping him with food etc.
He is quite moody but then he will change his mood and be happy?
Surely he cannot just cut me off like that after the help I have gave him?
The longer either o us don't get in touch the harder it is going to be for either of us
To contact each other. He was the one who wanted to go from a casual relationship to a real relationship as he didn't want to loose me so I really don't know why all of a sudden he has just stopped contact with me?
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 06:43 AM
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 Originally Posted by avadot
Are you saying that I have thrown myself at him?
I haven't I have kept my distance he was the one who asked if I wanted to go from a casual relationship into a relationship. He blows hot and cold and calls the shots when he is ready to see me. He wanted a friendship at first and said he didn't want to loose me. He has not worked for 18mths and I have helped him out with food etc as I have been working.
He has always contacted me everyday by text and always nice texts like, "hi babes how are you today". So really don't know what's wrong with him and it is really upsetting me that I haven't heard from him for 2 days?
I cannot just let it lie like that and need to know what is up with him. Do you think he could be ill or is he waiting for me to contact him to let him know things are ok?
If you are worried about his health or wellbeing then you should check up on him but it sounds to me like he needs his space. If he is depressed than he may just want to be alone. Overall I would say to check up on him and when you see him let him know your concerns and most of all where you stand. Be straight forward and make yourself clear on what you want. If he can not give you an answer back or gets upset with you then save yourself the heartache now and move on.
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 07:00 AM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
I am an Aquarian myself and it is very true we like our space but also enjoy a good cuddle here and there. I know if someone throughs themselves at me or seems over needy I am gone quicker than I came. Kinda weirds me out. By the sounds of it he is not interested in anyway. Probably would enjoy a good friendship though as long as you can leave it at that. Good luck :-)
Actually he has just text me 5 times as if nothing is the matter?
Really strange or maybe I am being a bit too paranoid?
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 07:03 AM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
If you are worried about his health or wellbeing then you should check up on him but it sounds to me like he needs his space. If he is depressed than he may just want to be alone. Overall I would say to check up on him and when you see him let him know your concerns and most of all where you stand. Be straight forward and make yourself clear on what you want. If he can not give you an answer back or gets upset with you then save yourself the heartache now and move on.
Actually he has just sent me 5 texts as if nothing was the matter
Strange but he is Aquarius and apparently you just have to let things go
Over your head and leave them to it but it is very hard for me as I think in the back of my mind is he seeing someone else as well as me when he dosen't get in touch?
Maybe I am paranoid but I just keep going back to my ex-husband and what he did to me (had an affair behind my back for 1 year). Maybe I am being a bit paranoid I don't know but I don't want to ruin the relationship I have with him at the moment?
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New Member
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Nov 19, 2012, 07:11 AM
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 Originally Posted by avadot
Actually he has just text me 5 times as if nothing is the matter?
Really strange or maybe I am being a bit too paranoid?
Well seems to me if you stay in this "relationship" you are going to be playing lots of games and always blaming yourself for what he is doing. Whatever he is going through either a depression or he's just plain having fun keeping you dangling from a string. Either way me myself I would not want to be part of it. Just be clear with him on what you expect in a relationship that you are not up for games and if he gets insulted then he doesn't care anyway. Maybe you need more time for yourself than you think. After all you both went through a divorce
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New Member
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Nov 20, 2012, 11:55 AM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
If you are worried about his health or wellbeing then you should check up on him but it sounds to me like he needs his space. If he is depressed than he may just want to be alone. Overall I would say to check up on him and when you see him let him know your concerns and most of all where you stand. Be straight forward and make yourself clear on what you want. If he can not give you an answer back or gets upset with you then save yourself the heartache now and move on.
Well following on from my last message. I did what you suggested and popped to see him. When I got there he asked why I had come without letting him know and I said that I wanted to get things sorted between us. He was on the defensive and became quite flippent and I said there was no need to be nasty, he said he wasn't it was his his way. I said I had been to see him Friday when he asked me to call and he was in the kitchen most of the time cooking and washing. When I went today again he went to make his dinner and left me in the sitting room on my own again. So I go up and put my coat on and went into the kitchen and stood there he kept on doing what he was doing. So I said "so you are still ignoring me what is wrong why are you being this way with me when you were do nice to me 3 mths ago when we met"? He said "Welcome to the big bad real World". He was very sarcastic and then said if you want to finish with then "F...K OFF". So I came out of his flat drove home very upset and text him 2hrs later to say that he has treat me as if I was a piece of s... t and cannot keep calling the shots in the relationship and keeping me dangling on a string and only sees me when he wants to and that he has been controlling with me. I told him that my ex-husband had been the same with me and I was not letting it happen again. He was the one who asked me to be in a relationship with him and now he has gone cold toward me for what reason? When I was with him previously he kept hoing on about his last wife who took everything and left him bankrupt with no house and car and he had to live with his friend for a year. He has not worked for 18mths hasn't got any money to do what he normally did, go to the gym, have a nice car and a nice home. I told him I feel that he is taking it out on me for what his ex did to him and it is not acceptable. I have helped him with food etc for 12wks he didn't ask for anything I did it myself and bought him a gas heater for his flat and he also at one point previously said "He didn't ask me to get him anything" the same way he said, "I didn't ask you to come and see me today and you have interuppted my day and what I like to do". In other words why did I call today? He won't talk about us or what is goping on and just tells me to shut up. In the past he has been ruthless but the next day text me as if nothing has happened and said. "Good Morning Babes how are you today?! I just don't know what to think as deep down he is a nice bloke and can be very romatic but for some reason is taking his anger out on me? He starts work in 4 wks time so at the end of my text I said, "I hope when you start work you settle and get money and get your life back to the way you want it to be".
I want him to sort this out with me but he won't and just keeps saying he is the way he is and that is that but most of the time we are good together and he keeps saying he dosen't want to loose me? After today I don't know what will happen. If he is really gutted I have sent him the text and told him what I think he may just let eveything lie. If he does then he obviously is not bothered he might have lost me. Shall I just leave it all now and let him think of everything and see if he relents and contacts me or do you think he won't and he has really been trying to push me away and I have called his bluff and gone?
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New Member
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Nov 20, 2012, 12:38 PM
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 Originally Posted by avadot
Well following on from my last message. I did what you suggested and popped to see him. When I got there he asked why I had come without letting him know and I said that I wanted to get things sorted between us. He was on the defensive and became quite flippent and I said there was no need to be nasty, he said he wasn't it was his his way. I said I had been to see him Friday when he asked me to call and he was in the kitchen most of the time cooking and washing. When I went today again he went to make his dinner and left me in the sitting room on my own again. So I go up and put my coat on and went into the kitchen and stood there he kept on doing what he was doing. So I said "so you are still ignoring me what is wrong why are you being this way with me when you were do nice to me 3 mths ago when we met"? He said "Welcome to the big bad real World". He was very sarcastic and then said if you want to finish with then "F...K OFF". So I came out of his flat drove home very upset and text him 2hrs later to say that he has treat me as if I was a piece of s.....t and cannot keep calling the shots in the relationship and keeping me dangling on a string and only sees me when he wants to and that he has been controlling with me. I told him that my ex-husband had been the same with me and I was not letting it happen again. He was the one who asked me to be in a relationship with him and now he has gone cold toward me for what reason? When I was with him previously he kept hoing on about his last wife who took everything and left him bankrupt with no house and car and he had to live with his friend for a year. He has not worked for 18mths hasn't got any money to do what he normally did, go to the gym, have a nice car and a nice home. I told him I feel that he is taking it out on me for what his ex did to him and it is not acceptable. I have helped him with food etc for 12wks he didn't ask for anything I did it myself and bought him a gas heater for his flat and he also at one point previously said "He didn't ask me to get him anything" the same way he said, "I didn't ask you to come and see me today and you have interuppted my day and what I like to do". In other words why did I call today? He won't talk about us or what is goping on and just tells me to shut up. In the past he has been ruthless but the next day text me as if nothing has happened and said. "Good Morning Babes how are you today?! I just don't know what to think as deep down he is a nice bloke and can be very romatic but for some reason is taking his anger out on me? He starts work in 4 wks time so at the end of my text I said, "I hope when you start work you settle and get money and get your life back to the way you want it to be".
I want him to sort this out with me but he won't and just keeps saying he is the way he is and that is that but most of the time we are good together and he keeps saying he dosen't want to loose me? After today I don't know what will happen. If he is really gutted I have sent him the text and told him what I think he may just let eveything lie. If he does then he obviously is not bothered hemight have lost me. Shall I just leave it all now and let him think of everything and see if he relents and contacts me or do you think he won't and he has really been trying to push me away and I have called his bluff and gone?
To be honest,from everything you tell me this man has issues and is a user. It does not matter why he acts those ways he has no right to treat you like that or anyone else. If he did care in anyway he would not treat you like that under any circumstances. There is no need for you to sit and wonder if he does somehow care or if your doing anything wrong because your not. Why would you want to be a victim of his abuse and games? Obviously you are use to that behavior in a relationship but you can NOT change this man. It's not you or you failing to help him. It's him! Get out of this while you can. You deserve better and when you realize that you will find it when you least expect it.
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Nov 20, 2012, 01:29 PM
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I'd leave him alone.
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New Member
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Nov 21, 2012, 03:58 PM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
To be honest,from everything you tell me this man has issues and is a user. It does not matter why he acts those ways he has no right to treat you like that or anyone else. If he did care in anyway he would not treat you like that under any circumstances. There is no need for you to sit and wonder if he does somehow care or if your doing anything wrong because your not. Why would you want to be a victim of his abuse and games? Obviously you are use to that behavior in a relationship but you can NOT change this man. It's not you or you failing to help him. It's him! Get out of this while you can. You deserve better and when you realize that you will find it when you least expect it.
Hello Again (Gloade)
Just to update you on what has happened.
He got in touch with me today to apologise for the way he has been with me
and sorry for everything. It is a bad time of year for him as this time last
year he went through a deep depression to the point of taking his own life but
it was a cry of help due to losing everything and when I had called to see him
he was in a very bad depressed mood and said when he is like that is best left alone. I caught him on an exceptionally bad day. He said "It was no excuse to treat me like that and is so sorry for it having happened." x. (KISS AT END OF TEXT)
I text him back and said. "I think we have met at the wrong time didn't we"?
This time next year financially you will be OK and in a better frame of mind and doing the things you like to do and you'll be fine you'll see"?
AND LEFT IT LIKE THAT
Do you think that he will feel it is over between us after I sent that reply?
I do still want to help him get through all of this as I have been through it all myself going bankrupt having no money and living off the state, but I am on my own with no children. He has 2 boys 16 and 12 and it is coming up to Xmas as well.
Should I wait and see if he contacts me again after that last text I sent ? I want to know that he wants me and wants to be with me through all of this and help him through it as I have been through the same myself OR should I text him tomorrow to see how he is?
?? WHAT DO YOU THINK - LIFE IS SO SHORT AND WE ARE IN OUR 50'S AND YESTERDAYS'S TEXT TO HIM
FROM ME SEEMED I WAS Definitely ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP BUT HE CAME BACK TO ME TODAY?
I want to get back in touch after do feel for him and he has apologised and I do like him so very much?
OR SHALL I JUST LEAVE AND SEE IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS IF HE COMES BACK TO ME AGAIN?
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Nov 21, 2012, 04:20 PM
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It will only be over if he wants it to be. You made yourself very clear.
You can be hopeful but to wait around hoping. Live your life.
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New Member
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Nov 22, 2012, 08:01 AM
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 Originally Posted by avadot
Hello Again (Gloade)
Just to update you on what has happened. ?
He got in touch with me today to apologise for the way he has been with me
and sorry for everything. It is a bad time of year for him as this time last
year he went through a deep depression to the point of taking his own life but
it was a cry of help due to loosing everything and when I had called to see him
he was in a very bad depressed mood and said when he is like that is best left alone. I caught him on an exceptionally bad day. He said "It was no excuse to treat me like that and is so sorry for it having happened." x. (KISS AT END OF TEXT)
I text him back and said. "I think we have met at the wrong time didn't we"?
This time next year financially you will be ok and in a better frame of mind and doing the things you like to do and you'll be fine you'll see"?
AND LEFT IT LIKE THAT
Do you think that he will feel it is over between us after I sent that reply?
I do still want to help him get through all of this as I have been through it all myself going bankrupt having no money and living off the state, but I am on my own with no children. He has 2 boys 16 and 12 and it is coming up to Xmas as well.
Should I wait and see if he contacts me again after that last text I sent ? I want to know that he wants me and wants to be with me through all of this and help him through it as I have been through the same myself OR should I text him tomorrow to see how he is?
?????? WHAT DO YOU THINK - LIFE IS SO SHORT AND WE ARE IN OUR 50'S AND YESTERDAYS'S TEXT TO HIM
FROM ME SEEMED I WAS DEFINATELY ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP BUT HE CAME BACK TO ME TODAY?
I want to get back in touch after do feel for him and he has apologised and I do like him so very much?
OR SHALL I JUST LEAVE AND SEE IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS IF HE COMES BACK TO ME AGAIN?
It seems to me like he always has an excuse for his behavior. With a simple "sorry" he has you right back where you started. I know you have feelings for him but it could be that you just feel bad for him knowing you went through the same thing and the fact that he reminds you of your ex husband in someway. It appears that you want to help this man that you think you can make him love you by being there for him. Number one rule is you can not love someone without loving yourself first and he seems to be in a bad frame of mind at this point. I would stop buying him groceries and paying for the things he claims he can not. If you really feel the need to help him, because you seem to be a caring woman, I'm sure there is other resourses such as a food bank. Maybe you could give him a drive there or invite him over for a dinner here and there. Over all you are making him a huge part of your life already and making changes in your lifestyle and only getting a portion of the respect you deserve on his terms. I truly believe you are wanting to be in a relationship but this is not the way to go if you want a healthy, happy lifestyle. I would let this man get his life together on his own after all he is in his fifties. Of course you can remain friends but that does not include you bending over backwards.
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New Member
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Nov 22, 2012, 02:36 PM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
It seems to me like he always has an excuse for his behavior. With a simple "sorry" he has you right back where you started. I know you have feelings for him but it could be that you just feel bad for him knowing you went through the same thing and the fact that he reminds you of your ex husband in someway. It appears that you want to help this man that you think you can make him love you by being there for him. Number one rule is you can not love someone without loving yourself first and he seems to be in a bad frame of mind at this point. I would stop buying him groceries and paying for the things he claims he can not. If you really feel the need to help him, because you seem to be a caring woman, I'm sure there is other resourses such as a food bank. Maybe you could give him a drive there or invite him over for a dinner here and there. Over all you are making him a huge part of your life already and making changes in your lifestyle and only getting a portion of the respect you deserve on his terms. I truly believe you are wanting to be in a relationship but this is not the way to go if you want a healthy, happy lifestyle. I would let this man get his life together on his own after all he is in his fifties. Of course you can remain friends but that does not include you bending over backwards.
Yes I know what you are saying but I am not going to allow him to keep saying sorry? There is no need to speak to me and treat me the way that he has been
When I see him face to face I will tell him the fact that I deserve more than what
I am getting back from him. Apologising I feel is making him feel better in his mind for being as horrible as he has but you cannot go through life like that.
It is my own fault that I was buying him this and that in groceries he never asked
For anything so I have been silly there and told him that I have been too soft and a mug and it stops right now. I am not trying to make him love me but it is the way I am and probably too caring. He came back the next day after I walked out and apologised via text as to get to come to see me it would take a couple of hours.
He starts his job in approx 4 weeks and when he starts to earn money and get back on track he will be back to himself hopefully??
He thanked me for letting him into my life and again said he didn't want to loose me so I told him to pull his socks up and start treating me with respect.
Hope that will make him think??
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Nov 22, 2012, 04:01 PM
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You have put your foot down, that's good.
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New Member
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Dec 3, 2012, 02:28 PM
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 Originally Posted by gloade
If you are worried about his health or wellbeing then you should check up on him but it sounds to me like he needs his space. If he is depressed than he may just want to be alone. Overall I would say to check up on him and when you see him let him know your concerns and most of all where you stand. Be straight forward and make yourself clear on what you want. If he can not give you an answer back or gets upset with you then save yourself the heartache now and move on.
Hello
Me again
I am very very upset tonight and had to ask for your help and advice again?
You know my situation with this guy and we have been getting along well although for 10/17/24 Nov he has not come to visit me on a weekend as he used to do? I asked him why and he said he has had his son's over to his mothers and stayed on the sat night as she has 2 spare rooms. However he came Sat gone and we had a lovely night together only he said he had to leave at 2a.m.
He text me when he got home to say thank you for a lovely night and to sleep well.
Then yesterday Sunday I text him to see how he was as he had stomach cramps on the Sat night. He text back and said it "HE WAS WITH HIS SON AND IT WAS HIS TIME". I went totally on the defensive and felt as if he was saying my time was the Sat night and Sun he was with his son and not to text him?
So in haste I text him and said that he is making set times to see me when he wants to and that he is using me when he wants to? He text back and he said he can't win with me and that he "NEVER answers his phone or texts when he is with his son? So I said for him to "go and find someone he can win with as obviously I am not the right one for him!" He text back saying "I give up".
He has never got back in touch and so I thought off the top of my head to look on PLENTY of FISH dating site and he has put himself back on there again. He was on this when we first met and took himself off now he is back on the site again? I did text him to say I was hasty and apologised and I think he got a shock when I told him I seen he had gone back on the dating site. He said he went back on for his friends as they wanted to know when the next re-union was for singles and the only way he could find out was to enrol himself again. He said either to believe or don't believe the reasoning for him going back on but to stop going on about it simple as....... I really felt that sounded very forthright and nasty?
He won't talk to me and not text me back so I have sent him an email to say how I feel and to ask why he is being like this with me when he asked for the relationship to happen in October and to go from being casual to serious?
I told him that I have tried to support and help him whilst he is not working and he is treating me not very nice and to tell me if he wants to look for someone else or to sort us out? He has never come back to me yet. He usually waits after a tiff and then texts me saying "Morning Babes how are you toda" as if nothing has happened. I really don't know what to do as he was in a really bad state financially last week. His best friend who has money wouldn't help him and I gave him a lend of £70 on the Sat he was at mine. Do you think he is using me and somewhere along the line has another woman in tow and he is not really at his mother's at all? What should my next move be? I have fallen in love with this guy and he knows how I feel about him. He says he dosen't want to loose me but then when he says he will come to see me like he did a week ago on the Sunday he got in touch to say he couldn't as had no money for petrol?
I am absolutely gutted over all of this and until he gives me a straight answer it is making me very upset?
Jean
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Dating & Teen Expert
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Dec 3, 2012, 02:34 PM
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Doesn't sound like he has changed any and will likely not treat you any different.
You need to leave this guy alone or at least stop chasing him. Let him contact you and stay out of the bed with him until he has shown you some respect
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New Member
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Dec 3, 2012, 02:49 PM
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 Originally Posted by avadot
Hello
Me again
I am very very upset tonight and had to ask for your help and advice again?
You know my situation with this guy and we have been getting along well although for 10/17/24 Nov he has not come to visit me on a weekend as he used to do? I asked him why and he said he has had his son's over to his mothers and stayed on the sat night as she has 2 spare rooms. However he came Sat gone and we had a lovely night together only he said he had to leave at 2a.m.
He text me when he got home to say thank you for a lovely night and to sleep well.
Then yesterday Sunday I text him to see how he was as he had stomach cramps on the Sat night. He text back and said it "HE WAS WITH HIS SON AND IT WAS HIS TIME". I went totally on the defensive and felt as if he was saying my time was the Sat night and Sun he was with his son and not to text him?
So in haste I text him and said that he is making set times to see me when he wants to and that he is using me when he wants to? He text back and he said he can't win with me and that he "NEVER answers his phone or texts when he is with his son? So I said for him to "go and find someone he can win with as obviously I am not the right one for him!" He text back saying "I give up".
He has never got back in touch and so I thought off the top of my head to look on PLENTY of FISH dating site and he has put himself back on there again. He was on this when we first met and took himself off now he is back on the site again? I did text him to say I was hasty and apologised and I think he got a shock when I told him I seen he had gone back on the dating site. He said he went back on for his friends as they wanted to know when the next re-union was for singles and the only way he could find out was to enrol himself again. He said either to believe or don't believe the reasoning for him going back on but to stop going on about it simple as....... I really felt that sounded very forthright and nasty?
He won't talk to me and not text me back so I have sent him an email to say how I feel and to ask why he is being like this with me when he asked for the relationship to happen in October and to go from being casual to serious?
I told him that I have tried to support and help him whilst he is not working and he is treating me not very nice and to tell me if he wants to look for someone else or to sort us out? He has never come back to me yet. He usually waits after a tiff and then texts me saying "Morning Babes how are you toda" as if nothing has happened. I really don;t know what to do as he was in a really bad state financially last week. His best friend who has money wouldn't help him and I gave him a lend of £70 on the Sat he was at mine. Do you think he is using me and somewhere along the line has another woman in tow and he is not really at his mother's at all? What should my next move be? I have fallen in love with this guy and he knows how I feel about him. He says he dosen't want to loose me but then when he says he will come to see me like he did a week ago on the sunday he got in touch to say he couldn't as had no money for petrol?
I am absolutely gutted over all of this and until he gives me a straight answer it is making me very upset?
Jean
He has given you a straight answer but you don't want to see it. He is only using you. Of course he is dating or looking for other people to use. You do not love this man you just do not want to be rejected. What human does? It is not you, he just doesn't want you. Plain and simple. He only wants you when it is convenient for him and he knows how to reel you in. I would stop messaging this man through text, email etc. Just let him go. Do you ever notice when you leave him alone he comes running back? Again the feeling of being rejected. You are feeding off each other to feel needed and so on.For your sake leave this behind you without giving him an answer why. He is not worthy and you are still playing the game if you keep messaging him. End this for good. In fact block him if you can and move on. Sorry to sound harsh but this is the truth. If you keep doing this you are just hurting yourself more and more and you will never gain anything out of it.
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