What should I do? Help please
Alsalam alekom,
I am 21 years old female, I live in canada, I'm originally from middle east. I'm having severe depression since I was 17. I tried to suicide but I'm scared from hell. I pray 5 times. I always have upset stomach that going to develp to an ulcer because I'm always stress. I am so unhappy to live in my parents house. I am forced to do many stuff, like picking the career, the job, the friends, not going out,. etc. whatever I do and I talk is not working. I have 2 sisters and 1 brother, my older sister I have bad relationship with her cause she's so selfish and mean to me. My other sister I'm good with, my brother is spolied and he do whatever he want.
Recently I talk to my parents that one guy want to prupose to me, he is canadian and I did convert him to islam, they got so angry and reject the whole thing, my dad threat me if I'm going to talk to any guy outside the family. All my friends are shocked to see me so tired and so pale. I'm having mental illness because of the stress that I'm going to take medication on. Till now I'm doing all the stuff that my parents want me to do.
What I'm thinking is God want me to be happy, and I can't continue living like this. I'm having a plan that I will leave the house when my sisters get married so that I won't affect on their marriage. And if they didn't get married I will leave the house on 2015, when I'm 24!
What do you think? Is it haram?
Please do not tell me to try talking to them cause I did so many times
Thanks.
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