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shartbox · Mar 4, 2007, 05:46 PM

OK here's what's happening. My girlfriend told me that she might have feelings for her ex, so we stopped going out and now were dating. I love her so much, and she still says she loves me, but I'm not even sure anymore. But anyway, she's hanging out with him a lot now, probably even more then she hangs out with me, and she used to say she didn't know if she liked him, but now she's saying that she does but don't know if she loves him. She says he's great to talk to and she like talking to him. I don't know what to do in this situation because she is the first girl I have loved before, and I don't really know how to handle everything. Any advice would help a lot... thanks

chuff · Mar 5, 2007, 12:42 AM

Okay Shartbox here's the deal and your probably not going to like it. You've got to quit talking to her period. No phone calls, emails, anything. Basically what she's doing is playing both you between the other for more attention to fill her drama needs.

To stop that nonsense you have to quit speaking to her and make her miss you. She's already controlled this by breaking up with you and keeping you as a hanger on for her to dump her emotional problems. That is not where you want or need to be.

She wanted a break up so you give her one. The thing that she's doing is she was involved with her ex but he's not a guarantee. He can leave her at any moment so she keeps you around as a back up plan. You can not be her back up plan. If your not plan A then get out.

The way she operates I wouldn't be surprised if she started showing more interest after you pull back. What you do then if up to you but I think you can do better than being her number two choice.

Krs · Mar 5, 2007, 01:05 AM

I agree with chuff. Let her go. Don't stay with her she obviously still has feelings for her ex and you could get hurt in the long run.

fireresc · Mar 5, 2007, 04:55 AM

I also agree, she is just stringing you along. You said she is your first, move on to number 2.

Jiser · Mar 5, 2007, 05:18 AM

I had a first love, everyone does, it hardly ever works out. Life unfortunately is not like the movies. We have to face reality at one point. I am glad for my first love, I learnt so much about myself and in a way you have to treate is a learning experience, perhaps one of your most important ones in life.

You must remove yourself from this situation and sever any links you have with.

Never be a doormat for anyone, initiate no contact, you may find as you withdraw she will come back as she sees that she no longer has a hold on you.(that is a maybe)

talaniman · Mar 5, 2007, 05:51 AM

Those first loves are confusing, but leave her alone and start looking for the second love. Your ex has her own agenda so leave her be to avoid any fallout or more heartbreak. Look around dude, there are females everywhere if you get over the ex. Why waste time being stuck on someone who is doing her thing when you should be doing yours.