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    whatslove's Avatar
    whatslove Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Apr 21, 2011, 09:39 PM
    My boyfriend of two years dumped me but says he will always care about me and love me
    But he is not "in" love with me anymore! We have been through a lot together and would fight too easily about dumb stuff. But since the first time I met him he has always been there for me when no one else was. It just hurts because I know he was madly in love with me when we were first together, he wanted to marry me and have kids.. its just not the same anymore. I am 20 and he is 27. We broke up because I honestly don't know how to trust people I'm always waiting for the ball to drop.. and now it has. I told him I feel dumb for making the same mistakes in our relationship (fighting over stupid stuff and not trusting him)over and over. Towards the end of our relationship he always seemed to have time to do other things besides hang out with me. He told me "he needs his space and i need time to mature and find myself. to be secure with myself before we could ever have a relationship. he says he just wants me to be happy and this is the best thing for us right now that people break up and get back together, if it is meant to be its meant to be." he tells me nothing has changed between us besides us not being a couple anymore. He called me the other day (we have been broken up for a week now) but when we talk it's the same thing I don't want you to be sad I am really hurting too and it just has to be this way for right now. Be strong ill call you in a couple days. Why does he keep telling me he will call me in a couple days? Is he leading me on ? Should I just let go and move on and never look back?
    whatslove's Avatar
    whatslove Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Apr 21, 2011, 09:55 PM
    Is this a stupid question or something... o you I have no patience either blaaaaaaaaaaah
    ironhide262's Avatar
    ironhide262 Posts: 277, Reputation: 243
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    #3

    Apr 21, 2011, 10:05 PM
    All that talk about "loving you but, not being in love with you", etc... is basically his way of trying to let you down easy. Calling you is just his way of dealing with all his negative emotions of the breakup.

    Best thing for you to do is go No Contact.Make it a complete breakup... you don't need anything from him anymore.

    he tells me nothing has changed between us besides us not being a couple anymore
    Don't get sucked in by this crazy statement... everything has changed.Also, no one breaks up just to get back together... makes no sense. Go NC, focus on yourself, your trust issues... work on making yourself happy and eventually finding another partner to share that happiness.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #4

    Apr 21, 2011, 10:36 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by whatslove View Post
    is this a stupid question or something ...o ya i have no patience either blaaaaaaaaaaah
    1) This isn't a stupid question;
    2) To be a member of this site you must have patience.

    You see, this is not a chat room, but rather a message board. We are all volunteers here. We do not sit behind a bank of computers answering questions for 8 hours a day. We have families and jobs, etc, and use our free time to answer questions here.

    Now, to answer your question. The two of you need to go strictly NC (no contact). You need time to heal from this break. You cannot heal properly if you are talking to each other whether it be every other day, or every other week.

    For whatever reason, the relationship is over, the two of you no longer need to be in contact with each other or you will never be able to move forward with your life and/or your future relationships.
    whatslove's Avatar
    whatslove Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 21, 2011, 10:43 PM
    Thank you I didn't mean to come off rude
    Sumitkumar7266's Avatar
    Sumitkumar7266 Posts: 91, Reputation: 48
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    #6

    Apr 22, 2011, 01:51 AM
    Love starts with the spark and it ends with surprise.. You can't predict who is who.. Best part in love is to love yourself.When he started the love he was mad in you but now he is doing everything except hanging out with you.. His interest is over in you.. This is the reason.. You just leave him and give all the space he need forever.. Try to do stuffs which likes you and where you will be happy.. And as J_9 told you should be in No contact.. It is painful not to contact the person you loved but this is the best healing process and you will feel it after some days.. Love yourself and try to make new friends..
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #7

    Apr 22, 2011, 07:38 PM

    You may have regretted what was done in the past, but probably best if you stop contact with him all together, and work on whatever makes you do so insecure. I doubt that will happen while you are still focused on getting him back.

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