[bellebelle1]

I had an affair and left my husband of 7 years (Im 25) for the guy. I am living with the new guy seven months later, and I am still married (legally) to my husband. I am also 5 months pregnant by the new guy (who happens to be someone I've known for years, and was my husbands and my friend). A little too soon for me. I've been feeling an incredible amount of guilt for cheating, and I don't want to have sex with my boyfriend anymore. I find him sexy and all, I just still feel like I'm cheating. I am still in love with my husband, but I've pretty much screwed that chance by getting pregnant. I don't want all these things to affect my new relationship. How do I get over this? Any suggestions?

[tickle]

Hi, belle, that was a recipe fpr disaster, upon a recipe for disaster, and so on... has anyone actually asked you if you have learned from your mistakes yet? That was going to be my next statement ! This is something you already know or you wouldn't be here asking, right ?

All you can do is make an effort to change because you are going to have a lovely baby, and you will need all of your determination. Dig deep and find some disclipine to get this 'cheating' stigma off your back. If you have to, go for some counselling and get it all out in the open, just like you did here.

Tick

[medic-dan]

I don't mean to sound cruel...

I don't think you ever will get over this. You are going to have to learn to live with it.

Please see a counselor. You need to decide what you want to do. You still love your husband. Are you still talking? How does he feel about what happened. If you decide to go back will he accept the baby?

What do you plan to do long term with the boyfriend?

Regardless of what you decide to do the baby will always be a reminder of what happened. You need to decide what to do. You could put the baby up for adoption or raise it, possibly as a single parent.

I hate to say this but please don't put yourself in the position of resenting your baby because of what "could have been." It was not the babies fault.

If you can get your husband and/or boyfriend to accompany you to counseling it would help. While we can offer advice, you need a more personal level of attention than the internet can offer.

Good luck.

[jmjoseph]

The bridge to your husband's love has been burned, the pregnancy fueled the flames.

We all make mistakes, some bigger than others. Get past it.

You have a baby on the way, try to live your life in matter in which she/he would look up to.

Why has your husband not pushed for a divorce? I know I would ASAP.

Let him know how you feel, as it may help HIM heal. You cheated with a friend of his, that's a double blow.

Why stop having sex with the new guy NOW? That's a bit like swerving AFTER a crash.

Sorry for the harshness, but I feel sorry for the husband.

I think you feel remorse, so make the most of what you do have.

[Fr_Chuck]

Why are you still married, you file for divorce, and move on. You made choices and now have to live with them

[Kadehadaire]

I agree with Fr_Chuck. Get a divorce. Close the door. Let time pass. Move on.

[grandmalee]

I think you broke the ultimate law in marriage. I am sure your husband has moved on so should you. Hopefully you learned the grass isn't always greener on the other

[tickle]

I think its called (trying) to have your pie and eating it too. It isn't going to work.

Tick