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disvet · Sep 23, 2009, 05:44 PM

I lost my left leg in the war 8 month ago, would love to meet some one. But how do you let them know your leg was shot off?

disvet · Sep 23, 2009, 05:48 PM

Thanks anyway

Stringer · Sep 23, 2009, 05:58 PM

Disvet, nice to meet you sir.

Please allow some time for responses, there are good people here that are in and out and it takes a little time my friend.

First, thank you for your service and I am sorry for your injury.

I have always thought that who you are is a hugh factor. If you are a really nice, honest and sincere person that WILL shine through. Realistically, I can see where to some this may be a problem or a situation, that is their loss my friend.

What I would suggest is join some groups; business, community, networking, church, etc. let people get to know who the real you really IS. I believe that may not be the perfect answer but I think that once they do get to know you, they will like being around you and THAT can lead to many other things. Open up to these people.

I hope I helped in some small way... try my suggestions, let me know.

Stringer

sandalwood7 · Sep 25, 2009, 04:25 PM

Be honest to those who you meet... When the time is right. You don't have to admit it first up or make excuses for yourself because I don't think that it is a major thing. Let them know you first or tell them when you feel comfortable about it.

You are very brave and that is worth a lot! You have been a selfless person and that is worth a lot too... things that are really attractive to girls!!

I am pretty sure that if I really liked a guy and was attracted to them, that it wouldn't matter if they had lost a leg. I could only see it as an unfortunate accident which is a testiment to your bravery. If someone holds that against you or doesn't want to be with you because of that minor fact then they are not worth the time.

Don't let the fact that you have one leg define you... It hasn't changed who you are and never can if you don't let it. Only having one leg shouldn't change how you meet people. Just do what you have always done. Go out and talk to girls... Meet them like the guy above says. Be normal. You are a normal guy... Don't let having one leg change your perception of yourself.

Good luck :-)

jmjoseph · Sep 25, 2009, 04:46 PM

First, thank you for your service and sacrifice. May GOD bless you. You sound like a fine man, any woman would be lucky to have such a fine person. You go about your daily affairs, and wear your injury like a badge of HONOR. Because THAT'S what I would see in you. I wish you the best of luck .

GOD bless America, and GOD bless the men and women that protect her.

redhed35 · Sep 25, 2009, 05:03 PM

Originally Posted by disvet

I lost my left leg in the war 8 month ago, would love to meet some one. But how do you let them know your leg was shot off?

Hello,I'm going to take a slightly different view on this...

How do you let them know your leg was shot off?

Well, I guess if it came up in conversation... you could tell the story,but its how you tell that story...

If you tell the story full of bitterness and loss,that's not attractive.

I lost my daughter,it has changed me,I'm not the same person,you have lost a limb,I'm sure it has changed you in some way,you have had to learn how to live without your leg,and it takes guts and balls to it that,but,if your bitter,it will turn a woman off..

So what do you do...

Stringer gave you good advice... give it a go,some woman will be afraid,some will pity and some will see you as a strong man who has the strength to rebuild his life... its up to you what they see first... a man who got his leg shot off... or a man.

Wondergirl · Sep 25, 2009, 05:11 PM

On my soap opera, "All My Children," there is a black actor (Brot, played by A.J. Martinez) who plays and IS an Iraq vet with facial scars and serious disfigurement from a road-side bomb. He is such a cool guy -- wide smile, kind, gentle, respectful of women, romantic with his girlfriend, friendly, easy-going. His injuries are obvious, but once you have watched him more than five minutes, you look past them and see the real person inside.

In your case, your injuries are less obvious. Be like Brot -- a really cool guy who is emotionally available. Talk about your leg only when it becomes necessary, like if you are faced with something that will be difficult to do.

You are not your missing leg. You are YOU. And I have gotten the impression we really support our troops (not like during 'Nam), so if anything, you will be honored and respected for your sacrifice. Most people won't think anything negative, but might have questions (some of them stupid) so be prepared for that. You fought for your country, and this is what you gave up so that the Iraqi people will someday be able to enjoy the freedoms we too often take for granted.

Thank you for asking a very important question. If I were closer to your age than to your grandmother's, I'd be proud to date you!

450donn · Sep 26, 2009, 08:05 PM

First of all I want to thank you with all my heart for your sacrifice and service in defense of our country.
Now, to answer you question. Don't worry about it. I was burned many years ago and for most of my life I was very self conscious about the scars. It was not until only a few years ago that I finally came to the conclusion that it bothered no one except me. People who know you will see you as a whole person. Those that are so shallow as to see the leg as a problem you do not want as friends anyway. Some women will find it a put off for what ever reason, but at the end of the day it is your personality and how you deal with the loss that really counts. If it does not bother you, it will not bother women who matter.

Gemini54 · Sep 29, 2009, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by redhed35

hello,im going to take a slightly differant view on this...

how do you let them know your leg was shot off?

well, i guess if it came up in conversation...you could tell the story,but its how you tell that story....

if you tell the story full of bitterness and loss,thats not attractive.

i lost my daughter,it has changed me,im not the same person,you have lost a limb,im sure it has changed you in some way,you have had to learn how to live without your leg,and it takes guts and balls to it that,but,if your bitter,it will turn a woman off..

so what do you do...

stringer gave you good advice...give it a go,some woman will be afraid,some will pity and some will see you as a strong man who has the strenght to rebuild his life.....its up to you what they see first....a man who got his leg shot off....or a man.

I had to spread the rep Red, but great answer - and I'm so sorry about your daughter.

To the OP - it's all about attitude. My Ex was a Vietnam Vet and he never dwelt on his horrible experiences. He saw them as positive and really made an effort to be charitable about war and about human nature.

If you are open and up front about the loss of your leg - see it as an experience that you have had, not as who you are - you will be fine. Some women will be disrespectful, others will be afraid and see it as a disability. But, it's only a disability if YOU see it that way.

Make your personality shine and it won't matter a jot. Remember, you can use the story to your advantage!