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    androidmj's Avatar
    androidmj Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Mar 14, 2009, 03:08 PM
    Is venting frustrations a good way to heal?
    I just ran across a website... xbasher.com
    Not sure if links are allowed here.

    Anyway, xbasher wants you to post experiences with the ex without complimenting them. Basically trash talk them all you can. Anyone think this is a good way to get over an ex?

    It makes me feel better to write the stuff in a diary, haven't posted to the site yet though.
    none12345's Avatar
    none12345 Posts: 1,439, Reputation: 234
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    #2

    Mar 14, 2009, 10:00 PM

    Oh for me I'm not sure if that is how you would want to get over your ex. If you truly loved her at one point of the relationship than maybe not thinking about her completely is the best way to move on and heal? Because if you're bashing about her she still has a part of her in your life and you would always be thinking of her and letting her get the best of you. Just my opinion though

    Good luck =P
    ONLYHERETOHELP's Avatar
    ONLYHERETOHELP Posts: 24, Reputation: 4
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    #3

    Mar 14, 2009, 10:05 PM

    Why would you want to resort to such childish antics?

    It's one thing to vent your emotions, it's another to purposely bring someone down.
    starbuck8's Avatar
    starbuck8 Posts: 3,128, Reputation: 734
    Gone, But Not Forgotten
    		  
    #4

    Mar 14, 2009, 10:20 PM

    This site is disgusting and very childish as far as I'm concerned. If you want to vent your frustrations or get your anger out, go to a gym or do something productive! Focusing on your anger will get you nowhere. Try focusing on more positive things, instead of bashing someone you were once in love with. No matter how flat you make a pancake, it always has two sides. You had a part in this also.

    Why not spend your time and energy focusing on what went wrong, and the part that you may have played in your situation, in order to better understand when the next person comes along, instead of spewing venom at another person. That site is unproductive, and a ridiculous way to vent your frustrations.
    androidmj's Avatar
    androidmj Posts: 2, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Mar 15, 2009, 11:07 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by starbuck8 View Post
    This site is disgusting and very childish as far as I'm concerned. If you want to vent your frustrations or get your anger out, go to a gym or do something productive! Focusing on your anger will get you nowhere. Try focusing on more positive things, instead of bashing someone you were once in love with. No matter how flat you make a pancake, it always has two sides. You had a part in this also.

    Why not spend your time and energy focusing on what went wrong, and the part that you may have played in your situation, in order to better understand when the next person comes along, instead of spewing venom at another person. That site is unproductive, and a ridiculous way to vent your frustrations.
    I agree it is childish and won't help me learn from the relationship. Could also cause more harm than good. Thanks for the advice
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #6

    Mar 15, 2009, 02:21 PM

    I'm not dead set against this idea but at some point you have to take back control of the anger and move forward. It is easier said then done, but the ex isn't in any pain when you put them down, so you need to concentrate on building yourself up.

    I think we see some ex bashing on this site, but in my opinion what makes this site different from a site like that is, here we have people who offer their ideas and skills to better those that post here. We all go about it differently because we've all lead different lives to bring us here, but in the end the goal is always the same, a better individual leading a better life.

    This site, even if you don't agree with the advice is positive in it's core, because ultimately, getting a positive outcome is what we are all striving for. Everybody has a horrible ex, and an ex that when you look back you ask yourself "what the hell was I thinking?" but a site like that seems keep you "stuck" on the negative, where a site like this one, offers you ideas and opportunities for the positive.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #7

    Mar 15, 2009, 06:16 PM

    You can vent, it is healthy and good. But as starbuck said, there is two sides to every story and venting means looking at all aspects of the relationship, realising them and expressing your feelings towards them.

    Not simply making yourself feel better by bad mouthing your ex.

    I wouldn't recommend this road, why not come on here, tell us your story and vent here, that way you can get support, help and advice from people that have been/are going through what you are.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #8

    Mar 16, 2009, 05:13 AM

    Vent but in a positive way, trash talking your ex is not only childish but could ruin any possible other relationships you may have because they will be worried about what you will say about them.
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