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layton77 · Dec 15, 2008, 09:59 AM

Hi everyone my layton77 first time on here what should I think if I tell my husband everyday that I love him and I never hear it back from him and I asked him why he is not loving like me he said that he shows love in a different way but he do have love for me and when I ask him if will tell me if he's enlove he won't tell me because you can't let every woman no'that but we have been married for four years and have a little dauhgter together that is two years of age so what do think...

stevetcg · Dec 15, 2008, 10:43 AM

Guys will say that you cannot let a woman know you love her because that will show her she has some power in a relationship.

Guy's are generally stupid.

Sounds like your husband is a typical guy. If he says he has love for you but won't say he loves you either he is an idiot playing some sort of game with words or he is trying to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.

But in my (guy) opinion, he is just being an idiot.

450donn · Dec 15, 2008, 10:47 AM

Honey, us men are not wired that way. Women are emotional creatures, men are generally not. If he hugs you and satisfies you in other ways, is a good provider, that to us is LOVE! Do a Google search for Mark Gunger or laugh your way to a better marriage, and try to get to one of his seminars. It can be a real eye opener into the differences between us men and women.

Double B · Dec 17, 2008, 02:13 PM

Also, try reading the five love languages.

JBeaucaire · Dec 20, 2008, 08:56 AM

Don is right. Guys in general are best judged by their actions. That's pretty hard for a woman who wants emotional comfort, and over decades a man gets better at being emotionally supportive. Young men... almost never.

But as I concurred, judge his actions to determine the answer. Men who say little lovingly, but are there for you, doing the work, standing by your side, slaying he daily dragons... that guy is showing love.

Look at the other side of the coin... a hell many women will admit to: A guy SAYS all kinds of loving things, but cheats, is lazy, won't work, doesn't pull his weight, doesn't do his part, ultimately ignores your needs... THIS guy isn't acting lovingly at all, regardless of what he says.

Judge his actions. Believe his actions. If his actions are saying he doesn't love/support you, talk to him about that, not about his feelings.

N0help4u · Dec 20, 2008, 10:03 PM

Yes actions speak louder than words. I would rather feel the love by the things they do and the way they treat me than to hear the words and it be a lie to cover up things and string you along while they are being sneaky and cheating.
Guys simply do not like all the mushy gush. If you want assurance from him surprise him little things for him to see how he reacts.

talaniman · Dec 21, 2008, 12:57 PM

Insecurity, and need, has made you a bit blind to the ways your husband does communicate to you.

Just be fair, and acknowledge your own issues, and plan what you do about it. The last thing you want is, to project your insecurities and needs on him, and drive a wedge between you.

Communications come on many levels and paying attention, in time will put you on his, and he will learn yours.

Bottom line, patience in learning each other. It's a process.

rebeccastrean22 · Dec 28, 2008, 12:52 AM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

Yes actions speak louder than words. I would rather feel the love by the things they do and the way they treat me than to hear the words and it be a lie to cover up things and string you along while they are being sneaky and cheating.
Guys simply do not like all the mushy gush. If you want assurance from him surprise him little things for him to see how he reacts.

But even if they show you or make you feel the love you still don't know if they are lying to cover up the things and string you along while they are being sneaky and cheating. Right? But then again he could just be using her and keeping her so nobody else can get her. Right? I mean tell me please if Im wrong or not

rebeccastrean22 · Dec 28, 2008, 01:00 AM

Basically what it is that no matter if a guy says it or does it you never know his true emotions.

talaniman · Dec 28, 2008, 06:35 AM

What does he do to make you feel that way??

Starbucks21 · Dec 28, 2008, 09:51 AM

Does he hug and kiss you? That's kind of loving and shows affection.

mspupi35 · Mar 31, 2010, 01:57 PM

Originally Posted by stevetcg

Guys will say that you cannot let a woman know you love her because that will show her she has some power in a relationship.

Guy's are generally stupid.

Sounds like your husband is a typical guy. If he says he has love for you but wont say he loves you either he is an idiot playing some sort of game with words or he is trying to maintain the upper hand in the relationship.

But in my (guy) opinion, he is just being an idiot.

If you stop saying you LOVE him then maybe he will see how you feel!